New Zealand v England Test Series

The first test of a largely ignored series has started.

England 6/1 at the moment. Would you believe Alastair Cook is out nicking to slip? You would? Quite...

6/2! Root bowled. You wouldn't even know the Ashes had finished.

Magnificent from Boult with the pink ball. 16/3. All three for Boult.

England on the ropes early on.

18/4. Southee this time. England entering humiliation territory.

Just beautiful bowling as Stokes' stumps are dismantled with aplomb.

18/5. This test is over in the first hour.

Wow. Rather a dramatic first 45 minutes

What is the lowest England innings total against NZ , I wonder ?

Unbelievable... well actually maybe not. Poor England. A horror start.
Superb work from Boult and Southee.

Did you take up the 6/1, Duty?

Oh wow. 18/6. Bairstow brilliantly caught and bowled.

Well, this is a dark day for test cricket in England.

The Loaded Dog wrote:Unbelievable... well actually maybe not. Poor England. A horror start.
Superb work from Boult and Southee.

Did you take up the 6/1, Duty?

Ah, when I said 6/1, I meant the score was 6/1 in the English sense! Not the odds on England winning (which are probably 600/1 now!).

I'm almost glad I can't actually watch this.

Six gone ? Good toss to win ?

alfie wrote:Wow.   Rather a dramatic first 45 minutes

What is the lowest England innings total against NZ , I wonder ?

Lowest test score ever for England is 45 against Australia in the 19th century. Interestingly, England went on to win...

Lowest against New Zealand is 64 in 1978. England didn't win that one...

alfie wrote:Wow.   Rather a dramatic first 45 minutes

What is the lowest England innings total against NZ , I wonder ?

2nd innings in this match they scored 64... NZ only won by 72 runs after collapsing for 123 in their second dig.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/series/17130/scorecard/63203/new-zealand-vs-england-1st-test-england-tour-of-new-zealand-1977-78/

23/7. New records will be set.

These two are bowling well, but the English are looking as though they've never held a bat before.

I take it the ball is doing a bit ? Might be best to declare - though as seven are now down that might not be necessary

Duty281 wrote:

The Loaded Dog wrote:Unbelievable... well actually maybe not. Poor England. A horror start.
Superb work from Boult and Southee.

Did you take up the 6/1, Duty?

Ah, when I said 6/1, I meant the score was 6/1 in the English sense! Not the odds on England winning (which are probably 600/1 now!).

Oh of course. Silly me.

I wonder how Anderson, Broad and co will fare under lights with the pink ball. Maybe they can return the favour and cause some trouble too.

alfie wrote:I take it the ball is doing a bit ?  Might be best to declare - though as seven are now down that might not be necessary

Swinging a bit, but nothing extreme. 

23/8! Moeen misses a full toss. Embarrassing. I predicted low scores, but not this low!

23/8 ? This is ridiculous...

27/9 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At least they passed the old NZ record low of 26...

That is one of the most outstanding catches you will ever see. Phenomenal. 

27/9. England going to be bowled out within 90 minutes of the series starting!

Olly has been going on about the danger posed by Wagner...doesn't look as if he will even get a bowl...

alfie wrote:Olly has been going on about the danger posed by Wagner...doesn't look as if he will even get a bowl...

Clever tactics by England then. 

Wow, Overton has dragged England past the '50' mark.

The humiliation is not total.

Overton to the rescue!

Not only past the old 45 ... but also the 47 which will stop the Australians getting too smug about this...Can they make it past 60 ?

58 all out.

Overton needs to open the batting.

58. Quite a recovery...

alfie wrote:Overton to the rescue!

Not only past the old 45 ... but also the 47 which will stop the Australians getting too smug about this...Can they make it past 60  ?

No chance of that, alfie.

More worried about our blokes later on tonight... just have a feeling there will be some bowling fireworks too!

Trent Boult had his 5th wicket after 7 overs... after only the 13th over.
Must be close to some sort of quickest 5-fer record; however I know there were very low scores back in the early days too.

This is woeful. Its more than selections thats rotten here, theres proven players failing to deliver even the basics.

The Loaded Dog wrote:

alfie wrote:Overton to the rescue!

Not only past the old 45 ... but also the 47 which will stop the Australians getting too smug about this...Can they make it past 60  ?

No chance of that, alfie.

More worried about our blokes later on tonight... just have a feeling there will be some bowling fireworks too!

Well it does mean England fans won't be able to mention Trent Bridge 60 all out so often

I hear the pitch at Newlands is going to be a bit slow though so might not be too many fireworks tonight. Unless Rabada explodes...

It's been an incredibly long hot summer for England.

Given their selection dilemmas, I think they have done their best to try and establish a side and stick with it... come what may. That's what any team in  a similar situation would try to do. It's a very tough situation to be in - some experienced players who are sadly off form, trying to blood new batsmen and bowlers on an antipodean tour, playing other tournaments in between and still trying to keep it all afloat for this Test series.

On top of all of that; NZ, spearheaded by Boult and Southee simply had one of those days where everything turned to gold (or jade)   ... they were just superb.

Any team would have struggled out there today. The margins for error are just so fine in these conditions and Boult/Southee with the ball in hand.

Guildford... I never liked Eden Park too. It hurts my eyes to look at that perimeter rope.
(although we did well there in cricket recently; in rugby... it's what... 32 years!) Horrible place.

alfie wrote:

The Loaded Dog wrote:

alfie wrote:Overton to the rescue!

Not only past the old 45 ... but also the 47 which will stop the Australians getting too smug about this...Can they make it past 60  ?

No chance of that, alfie.

More worried about our blokes later on tonight... just have a feeling there will be some bowling fireworks too!

Well it does mean England fans won't be able to mention Trent Bridge 60 all out so often  

I hear the pitch at Newlands is going to be a bit slow though so might not be too many fireworks tonight.  Unless Rabada explodes...

I'd forgotten Trent Bridge.
As for the Newlands pitch reports... like political polls they can be hard to trust. Pitches seem so variable these days. I hope you're right though.

Well I didn’t expect to wake upto to that score

Wtf happened?

Good Golly I'm Olly wrote:Well I didn’t expect to wake upto to that score

Wtf happened?

All our worst nightmares , I think...

I'll let those who were watching rather than following with horrified fascination on text fill in the details for you

My godfathers! What have I woken up to? Assuming it's not still a terrible dream, can someone please tell me what happened? Terrible batting, brilliant bowling, an unplayable pitch? All of them? It has to have been at least one. Thanks.

alfie wrote:Olly has been going on about the danger posed by Wagner...doesn't look as if he will even get a bowl...

Clever from England actually. Avoid their main threat

Home and watching now...see the bowlers have been unable to emulate their Kiwi counterparts but at least are keeping a lid on it.

But why on earth is Moeen bowling ?

Just got to see the wickets ...oh dear ! Was some excellent bowling - and catching - but really a lot of leaden-footed batting...
English batsmen are generally supposed to be able to handle the moving ball but that procession rather suggests they've lost the art . OK it's only one day and bad days (even really bad days !) do happen ; but the manner of the dismissals suggests they are in for a rough time in the rest of this series. And it won't get better at home unless Cook rediscovers his mojo because there just aren't any other top order bats around : I think Root at four is a must.

Lots of rain coming next couple of days so all is not lost but they'll need a big second innings...

Alastair Cook has to be one close to facing the chop. Aside from two double hundreds(243 against Windies where we played them in a wintry day/night match in Birmingham and 243* on an atrocious Melbourne pitch) as a senior player he isn't giving Root any support. Last 20 matches averages about 40, without those double hundreds it mid 20s. Root is really great but he can't do all the batting on his own back.

Cook does worry me. This pattern of occasional excellent innings punctuating a lot of low scores is common to a lot of the best players as they near the end of their careers.
It is still too early to say he's done - and heaven knows there is a dearth of potential replacements so we'd better hope he's not ! But runs in the remaining innings would be reassuring.
Root - whose failure today will only reinforce his dislike of batting at three - seems to be finding the twin pressures of captaincy and main batsman status a heavy load. He certainly does need support. I am not sure who is going to supply it at the moment ...
The much-vaunted late middle order flopped today . They've saved the day often enough ; but I'd argue that Stokes , Bairstow , Moeen were all a place higher than ideal on a day like this...guess Malan was too.
Disappointing and worrying : but essentially nothing we didn't already know about the weaknesses ...just emphasizes the need to find a couple of top order bats. Good job for the new selectors

I think it's time we bite the bullet and introduce some youngsters from county cricket and give them an extended run. Hameed should be opening. Cook has played 156 Tests and it's plainly clear he's in decline. We can't have a senior player being so hot and cold.

Moeen Ali's Test career should also be coming to a close. It worked for a while. Slap a few runs at 8 and some average bowling. But he's been found out.

We need to determine what's an all rounder and what's a bits and pieces cricketer. Only Stokes is a true all rounder. Moeen, Woakes etc are not all rounders.

Not a surprise today’s collapse. Seen it all before. The side is appalling, which is mentally in pieces, post Ashes. Broad was grinning, and in awe of his own dismissal. Surprised he didn’t go over to Kane & celebrate with him. Beyond embarrassing

Nathaniel Jacobs wrote:I think it's time we bite the bullet and introduce some youngsters from county cricket and give them an extended run. Hameed should be opening. Cook has played 156 Tests and it's plainly clear he's in decline. We can't have a senior player being so hot and cold.

Moeen Ali's Test career should also be coming to a close. It worked for a while. Slap a few runs at 8 and some average bowling. But he's been found out.

We need to determine what's an all rounder and what's a bits and pieces cricketer. Only Stokes is a true all rounder. Moeen, Woakes etc are not all rounders.

Easy to say "bring in some young players" ...harder to find some good enough. They have tried a few. Also easier to drop players than replace them.

I'd like to see Hameed opening (though with Cook , for now , rather than in place of) : and had he not been injured I fancy he might be. Truth is though he's hardly made a run at any level since recovering and throwing him back in right now would be a huge leap of faith. I'm hopeful he will start the summer well and take his place in the team.

Moeen most certainly is an all rounder. The question is actually whether he is good enough. On recent form , no. But he was starring a few months back ...

I don't pick teams in the middle of Test Matches anyway. But yes , there will be a lot of discussion after this tour . The coaching might get some attention too.

Disappointed not to see Mark Wood in the team. Gives us something extra IMO

alfie wrote:

Nathaniel Jacobs wrote:I think it's time we bite the bullet and introduce some youngsters from county cricket and give them an extended run. Hameed should be opening. Cook has played 156 Tests and it's plainly clear he's in decline. We can't have a senior player being so hot and cold.

Moeen Ali's Test career should also be coming to a close. It worked for a while. Slap a few runs at 8 and some average bowling. But he's been found out.

We need to determine what's an all rounder and what's a bits and pieces cricketer. Only Stokes is a true all rounder. Moeen, Woakes etc are not all rounders.

Easy to say "bring in some young players" ...harder to find some good enough. They have tried a few.  Also easier to drop players than replace them.

I'd like to see Hameed opening (though with Cook , for now , rather than in place of) : and had he not been injured I fancy he might be. Truth is though he's hardly made a run at any level since recovering and throwing him back in right now would be a huge leap of faith. I'm hopeful he will start the summer well and take his place in the team.

Moeen most certainly is an all rounder. The question is actually whether he is good enough. On recent form , no. But he was starring a few months back ...

I don't pick teams in the middle of Test Matches anyway.  But yes , there will be a lot of discussion after this tour .  The coaching might get some attention too.

I totally understand the point regarding picking younger players. But cast your mind back when Duncan Fletcher selected Vaughan and Trescothick. Both had very modest first class careers, but Fletcher backed them. Granted Hameed is battling post that savage hand injury, but he seems a very mentally strong boy. Also we recently saw Australian glove man Tim Paine return after suffering a similar injury.

I'm not saying drop Cook out of spite. I think young Joe needs to mould his side. We are currently playing very badly and it's the correct time to plan for the next 12-18 months-Ashes will be upon us soon.

The Hameed's, Livingstone's, Leach's need exposure before running into the old enemy

I don't see Moeen as a viable option considering we go to Sri Lanka next winter. And home matches against Pakistan and India aren't going to help Moeen' bowling muvh

And I wake up to see no English fightback has happened.

More confusingly, 2/9 is still available on New Zealand winning. This is in spite of the fact that they should be 1/100!

And those English dismissals don’t look any better in the morning light.

Duty281 wrote:And I wake up to see no English fightback has happened.

More confusingly, 2/9 is still available on New Zealand winning. This is in spite of the fact that they should be 1/100!

And those English dismissals don’t look any better in the morning light.

There is some rain forecasted i believe, Duty

What a nightmare day for England.

I would put it down to a mix of brilliant bowling and pathetic batting without technique, footwork, guile or substance. I think one has to look to the management now as results and players form have been disappointing now for a little too long.

New Zealand in total control and all but 1-0 up.

jimbohammers wrote:

Duty281 wrote:And I wake up to see no English fightback has happened.

More confusingly, 2/9 is still available on New Zealand winning. This is in spite of the fact that they should be 1/100!

And those English dismissals don’t look any better in the morning light.

There is some rain forecasted i believe, Duty

Ah, ok. Even so, it will take a heck of a lot of rain for England to escape this one! The test could be done inside three days if there are no interruptions.

Swann was going bananas over anyone attacking Bayliss. Kept saying it was all the players’ fault, but they are coached and managed by someone and they’re not getting results.

However, a lot of people are right to say that who is getting results abroad?

Not wanting to take anything away from Boult and Southee but pretty pathetic by England.

Benjamin Franklin wrote:By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.