20th Gathering of Edinburgh and Glasgow Discussion

by Hazel Sapling Mon 04 Jun 2018, 11:19 am

First topic message reminder :

Edinburgh Squad

LH's: Schoeman, Dell, Marfo, Sutherland
Hookers: McInally, Ford, Fenton, Cherry
TH's: Nel, Berghan, McCallum, Ceccarelli
Second Row: Gilchrist, Toolis, McKenzie, Carmichael, Hunter-Hill
Back Row: Barclay, Hamilton, Crosbie; Watson, Ritchie; Bradbury, Mata, Miller, Nayalo

SH's: Pyrgos, Fowles, Kennedy, Shiel
FH's: Hickey, VDW, McLelland, Baggott
Centres: Scott, Socino, Bennett, Dean, Johnstone, G Taylor
Back 3: Fife, VDM, Hoyland, Brown, Graham; Kinghorn

Forward Total: 26
- Internationals: 16 (14 Scots, 1 Italian, 1 Fijian)
- NSQ: 4 (1 of whom is a project)
- Under 25 (as of September 1st, 2018): 7 (2 capped)
Backs Total: 20
- Internationals: 8 (Socino lone non-Scot)
- NSQ: 4 (2 projects)
- Under 25 (as of September 1st, 2018): 10 (2 capped)

Total: 46

Glasgow Squad

LH's: Bhatti, Allan, Kebble
Hookers: Brown, Turner, Stewart, Bryce
TH's: Fagerson, Nuka, Rae, Nicol
Second Row: Gray, Swinson, Cummings, McDonald, Brian, Peterson, Davidson
Back-Row: M Fagerson, Harley; Gibbins, Smith, Fusaro; Wilson, Ashe, Tameilau, Flockhart

SH's: Price, G Horne,Frisby, Mata, Baletto
FH's: Horne, Hastings, Jackson
Centres: Dunbar, H Jones, Johnson, Dunbar, Grigg, P Kelly
Back 3: Seymour, VDM, L Jones, Masaga, Tagive, Hughes, Beattie, Nairn; Hogg, Thomson

Forward Total: 27
- Internationals: 15 (12 Scots, 2 Americans, 1 Tongan)
- NSQ: 6 (2 projects)
- Under 25 (as of September 1st, 2018): 11 (4 capped, both projects)
Backs Total: 24
- Internationals: 14 (10 Scots, 1 Fijian, 1 Kiwi, 1 Canadian, 1 Aussie)
- NSQ: 4 (No projects if Thomson is already tied to SA)
- Under 25 (as of September 1st, 2018): 8 (1 capped)

Total: 51

Overall: 97 players
- Internationals: 53 (43 Scots)
- NSQ: 19 (5 projects)
- Under 25: 36 (9 capped)

by Hazel Sapling Tue 19 Jun 2018, 12:30 pm

RDW_Scotland wrote:
des wrote:Lets not forget that Glasgow also benefited from the SRU windfall when Edinburgh had the Heineken Cup run?

And both times we progressed to the latter stages of the Challenge Cup, which included a final - the earnings were shared. Add those to our HK semi run and we've probably contributed way more to Glasgow than they have to us given they've only made the next round of Champions Cup once!

Don't think that is entirely true. Glasgow regularly get crowds twice that of Edinburgh. Edinburgh gets occasional prize money, Glasgow get more week to week.

Looking at the playing squads, Glasgow have certainly been much more expensive the last few years

by **RDW** Tue 19 Jun 2018, 12:33 pm

Hazel Sapling wrote:
RDW_Scotland wrote:
des wrote:Lets not forget that Glasgow also benefited from the SRU windfall when Edinburgh had the Heineken Cup run?

And both times we progressed to the latter stages of the Challenge Cup, which included a final - the earnings were shared. Add those to our HK semi run and we've probably contributed way more to Glasgow than they have to us given they've only made the next round of Champions Cup once!

Don't think that is entirely true. Glasgow regularly get crowds twice that of Edinburgh. Edinburgh gets occasional prize money, Glasgow get more week to week.

Looking at the playing squads, Glasgow have certainly been much more expensive the last few years

The point is that prize money and gate receipts from advancing in Europe is shared - I believe standard gate receipts is separate for each club. As such Glasgow's bigger crowds should mean more money for Glasgow and it isn't given to Edinburgh. If this is the case then Edinburgh have contributed much more to the shared pot than Glasgow have over the years.

There's also no doubting that Glasgow have been given the better players over the years to priorities their success - Dodson has even acknowledged that - see the weegies really don't have grounds for complaint.

by tigertattie Tue 19 Jun 2018, 12:50 pm

Weegies complaining? never! really???

The chips on some Glasgow fans shoulders really are quite firmly embedded eh!

With Hamilton signing for Edinburgh it gives Edinburgh a squad size of 47 I believe and Glasgow have 49. Once Edinburgh have a larger squad than Glasgow and Edinburgh then sign another player than Glasgow fans believe should go to them then they can complain. Until then, wheest please!

Just as an FYI, if the rumors are true and one of the weegie 9s is coming East to join the only pro team in Scotland to gain any silverware last season, then that would even the squad sizes up to 48 a piece which would leave everyone on even terms!

Just saying!

by **George Carlin** Tue 19 Jun 2018, 1:30 pm

RDW_Scotland wrote:No surprise to see Glasgow fans kicking off about this on social media - "another signing being paid for by Glasgow fans" being my personal favourite! Quite.

Glasgow need to announce some good news soon or they could face a riot!

Just unsubscribe from AngrySoapdodgers.com and you won't be troubled.

Just remember that it takes a lot of stolen tyres and giro cheques to pay for the likes of Hamilton...

But seriously, are you really claiming that getting to the finals of the Diddy Cup and the white hot media attention that brings considerably offsets the lack of weekly gate receipts? I realise that you might be but as Jim would say, Shirley You're Not Serious.

by Welly Tue 19 Jun 2018, 1:53 pm

What's the difference average attendance wise?

by des Tue 19 Jun 2018, 2:07 pm

Between 3 and 4k per game.

Although there are a few outliers like Munster and Ulster as well as the derby games where we Edinburgh gets around 13000 more.

Over a season it probably balances out reasonably well.

Glasgow shouldn't have spent all their pocket money on Stuart Hogg.

by EWT Spoons Tue 19 Jun 2018, 2:08 pm

Taken this from Wiki

Edinburgh - total attendance = 83,529
Glasgow- total attendance = 83,510

Edinburgh - Avg attendance = 7,594
Glasgow- Avg attendance = 7,592

Edinburgh - High attendance =25,353
Glasgow- High attendance = 10,000

That's from the pro14 only, for last season. Champions vs challenge there is circa 3k favourable to Glasgow in total attendance.

The pro14 figures are hard to judge though as the high is from the 1872 silver sat game, and I'm not sure what the deal with that tickets wise is, if you were to take that game out (assuming 50/50 split in receipts) then it will impact the attendance no. for Edinburgh quite a bit.

by Hazel Sapling Tue 19 Jun 2018, 2:50 pm

Was going to say, like including the Judgement Day game for whomever is considered the home sides. It is juicing the numbers.

If you split Silver Saturday, it is roughly 96k for Glasgow vs 71k for Edinburgh.

If you remove derby games, Glasgow had roughly 76k vs 47k for Edinburgh

by **RDW** Tue 19 Jun 2018, 3:11 pm

Also worth remembering Glasgow don't own their own stadium so a big chunk of money will have to go to leasing the facilities each season.

by EWT Spoons Tue 19 Jun 2018, 3:42 pm

Using some high level, totally non scientific numbers, if as Hazel has suggested above, that the silver sat is split between the clubs (as I imagine it is) then based purely on Pro14 attendances, Glasgow are roughly £430k better off per season.

This is based upon an average ticket price of £17 (avg. last season prices of Silver & Platinum grades, across the 3 ticket cats, adult, Student, Child).

Not sure how the prize/tv money for the league is split (descending order from top to bottom?) but i would imagine Glasgow will have a bit more cash coming in from that given finishing positions over the last few years, plus they've been in the champions cup, which again I would assume brings in more cash, than the challenge.

From my understanding, revenue generated by the clubs stays with the clubs, with the SRU giving an amount to each club on top of that. That could be rubbish, but I think that might have been mentioned somewhere previously (might have been the Edinburgh season launch thing the other week).

This would explain how Glasgow have been able to hang onto the like of Hogg, J.Gray etc, as I can't imagine Edinburgh have anyone approaching that level of wage.

by **RDW** Tue 19 Jun 2018, 3:51 pm

I'm fairly confident that money earned by each club stays with each club, apart from European prize money/gate receipts (both for home and away games) get split between both teams. I may be totally making this up but I'm sure from memory Edinburgh earned somewhere in the low millions for their run to the HK semi - 38k tickets QF and a full Aviva stadium for the SF, plus prize money.

by tigertattie Tue 19 Jun 2018, 4:12 pm

This argument is pointless as everyone is forgetting that the SRU make crica 1billion dollars from the over priced burgers and beverages sold in Murrayfield at Edinburgh games.

by Hazel Sapling Tue 19 Jun 2018, 4:38 pm

I once went to a Boston Celtics game where they were asking $18 a slice of pizza. Don't think Murrayfield ever got to that.

How much did Myreside cost in the end? I assume that is why Watsonians may have had preference.

by Eejit Tue 19 Jun 2018, 4:44 pm

I say this as a longtime Glasgow fan, but the online and social media fan base for our club must be one of the most toxic I’ve ever seen from a sports team. The reaction from people has been downright nasty, when Hamilton is quite clearly a medical joker for Barclay. Even the most casual of rugby fans would clearly see that.

That being said, it is being perceived as one thing after another for Glasgow fans, and a signing announcement would go some way in helping to restore some measure of sanity to that particular asylum.

by **George Carlin** Tue 19 Jun 2018, 8:05 pm

Eejit wrote:I say this as a longtime Glasgow fan, but the online and social media fan base for our club must be one of the most toxic I’ve ever seen from a sports team. The reaction from people has been downright nasty, when Hamilton is quite clearly a medical joker for Barclay. Even the most casual of rugby fans would clearly see that.

One does get somewhat twitchy after several decades of heroin, fried chocolate and dozens of nondescript bands in King Tuts all pretending to be Blur.

by **RDW** Wed 20 Jun 2018, 8:33 am

Champions Cup draw is at 2pm today with both teams in it for the first time in a while. As always the chances of a group of death are high, but with a few surprising teams made it through this year (Edinburgh being one of them) either team could end if with a reasonable group if they're lucky.

You need a degree in advanced statistics to work out how the draw works, but the tiers are as follows

Tier 1 clubs: Castres Olympique (TOP 14 winners), Saracens (Premiership winners) Leinster Rugby (PRO14 winners) and two of Montpellier, Exeter Chiefs and Scarlets.

Tier 2 clubs: Racing 92, Wasps, Glasgow Warriors, one of Montpellier, Exeter Chiefs and Scarlets as well as the fourth-ranked club from the same league as the one not drawn into Tier 1.

Tier 3 clubs: Toulouse, Leicester Tigers, Edinburgh Rugby and the two remaining fourth-ranked clubs.

Tier 4 clubs: RC Toulon, Bath Rugby, Cardiff Blues, Ulster Rugby, Gloucester Rugby

I think it's fair to say neither team will want to draw Toulon as the 4th tier! As good as Scarlets have been they would be a good team to get as 1st seed as I don't think they'll be as strong next season, and to draw Leinster or Saracans essentially means 2 guaranteed defeats. I'd love it if Edinburgh drew Gloucester as it is a rugby stadium I've always wanted to go to.

by des Wed 20 Jun 2018, 9:14 am

Can Edinburgh be drawn in the same group as Glasgow?

If so can we have the home and away games at Murrayfield?

by Eejit Wed 20 Jun 2018, 9:29 am

des wrote:Can Edinburgh be drawn in the same group as Glasgow?

If so can we have the home and away games at Murrayfield?

I wish this was the case to see fellow Glasgow fans go absolutely mental, but no you can’t draw a club of the same nation. I think you can only draw a club from the same league from pot4 but even then Ulster can’t draw Munster or Leinster. The Glasgow twitter account has a list of 40 possible groups they could get.

N.B. This is my understanding. I could be talking complete nonsense.

by **RDW** Wed 20 Jun 2018, 9:29 am

Alas Edinburgh and Glasgow can't be drawn together - two Pro 14 teams from the same union can't be in the same group.

by Hazel Sapling Wed 20 Jun 2018, 10:17 am

Trying to think who both teams want and they want the same

Castres as the tier 1 side

Newcastle as the tier 2-3 side depending where they get drawn. Newcastle and, arguably, Lyon are the 2 sides that should be wanted in tier 2-3.

Whomever is not Toulon in tier 4

Edinburgh may do better out of the two. So many excellent packs in the Champions Cup that Glasgow could struggle.

by Eejit Wed 20 Jun 2018, 10:25 am

Speaks volumes for the strength of the competition that we are praying for the reigning Top14 Champions as the easiest pot 1 team. I hope a fully fit front row of Kebble and the Nuke can add some ballast to our pack or it’ll be another horrid season for us in Europe.

by Hazel Sapling Wed 20 Jun 2018, 10:35 am

Kebble really did not impress when he was fit. Hopefully it is a case of a long season.

Glasgow really need both Bhatti and Z Fagerson to push on. Z Fagerson is 3rd for Scotland at the moment (arguably holding off McCallum..and holding off Welsh because Toonie hates him) and really needs to show he can scrummage against the best consistently. Bhatti is in the same boat with Marfo, Dell, Sutherland and Reid all targeting the World Cup squad.

by Eejit Wed 20 Jun 2018, 2:48 pm

Sarries
Glasgow
Lyon
Bloos

Verdict: Glasgow should come out of that group

Montpellier
Newcastle
Edinburgh
Toulon

Verdict: Lol.

by **RDW** Wed 20 Jun 2018, 2:48 pm

It was all going so well until we got Toulon!

Glasgow have no excuses for not getting out of that group.

by Hazel Sapling Wed 20 Jun 2018, 3:08 pm

Edinburgh would have had a good chance to get out of that group if they had any other tier 4 selection. They still have a chance..after all Montpellier were not dominant last season.

Glasgow depends on Lyon. If Lyon care, they have a really good side. Sarries struggled last year but can't see it happening again.

by **RDW** Wed 20 Jun 2018, 3:14 pm

Any other Pool 4 team and I think we would have had a reasonable chance - I just can't see us beating both Montpellier and Toulon at home and probably at least one of them away to qualify. Add to that the small task of beating both Newcastle home and away!

Given that we are still a team in transition and haven't played Champions Cup for years I think 2 home wins and good performances throughout is a minimum for Edinburgh.

by Welly Wed 20 Jun 2018, 3:15 pm

Toulon isn't as strong as they where.
They have tried to move away from their forwards style and it failed and now they are in a bit of a mess.

Cockers has some good knowledge about them having coached them for 4 months and played against them quite a bit with Tigers.

by Hazel Sapling Wed 20 Jun 2018, 3:30 pm

Toulon's potential 23

Chiocci - Guirado - S Taofifenua (Can't tell but unheralded - Alkhazashvili - Van Der Merwe)
R Taofifenua - Kruger (Manoa)
Messam - Lakafia - Isa (Gorgodze)

Webb - Belleau (Mathewson - Trinh-Duc)
Fekitoa - Bastareaud
Savea - Ashton - Tuisova (JP Pietersen)

by demosthenes Wed 20 Jun 2018, 3:48 pm

Hazel Sapling wrote:Toulon's potential 23

Chiocci - Guirado - S Taofifenua (Can't tell but unheralded - Alkhazashvili - Van Der Merwe)
R Taofifenua - Kruger (Manoa)
Messam - Lakafia - Isa (Gorgodze)

Webb - Belleau (Mathewson - Trinh-Duc)
Fekitoa - Bastareaud
Savea - Ashton - Tuisova (JP Pietersen)

Looks weak!

by **BigGee** Wed 20 Jun 2018, 3:49 pm

Well pretty happy with Glasgow draw. Looking forward to another trip to Alliance Park and probably to Cardiff.

Bad luck Edinburgh, but we had the group of death last year. In a way though, you have nothing to lose, no great expectations, can just go out and give it a go.

by jimbopip Wed 20 Jun 2018, 7:23 pm

Not wanting to sound all Private Fraser, but....

Last time we went to Allianz park, and had a jolly boys day out, Glasgow were in scintillating form and Finn Russell was playing sublime rugby. And we lost!

So we're going back there without His Dancingness and looking significantly weaker in the pack.

I hope we don't go there until round 3 or 4 and we have time to find some form before we meet them.

Ideally we go to Cardiff and win. Lyon have lost at home and turn up at Scotstoun full of Je mon fou. Then we have the double header with Sarries.

It's easy when reality doesn't intrude. (could be the family motto)

by tigertattie Wed 20 Jun 2018, 10:02 pm

If Glasgow can't get out of that group then they may as well jack in Euro Rugby

Edinburgh have a tricky task though. Two French teams. Not gonna be easy

by **RDW** Thu 21 Jun 2018, 9:26 am

Interview with SHC in the Scotsman this morning where he talked a bit about the contract saga towards the end of the season. Apparently he spoke to Townsend to find out where he was in his thinking as if Townsend didn't see a future for him in the Scotland set up he was going to take up an offer in the French D2. Townsend said he was in his plans so he looked to stay in a top league instead.

Sounds like Edinburgh gave him a really crap temporary offer - bugger all money and only until December - but luckily for him Scarlets stepped in and he agreed terms the day before the deadline to accept the Edinburgh deal. Given he had a new born baby it must have been a fairly stressful time.

We obviously don't know the full story but I just can't understand why Edinburgh would only offer a deal until December - it does hint at a big falling out though. Credit to him that he still put in some top class performances despite all this (he may have been doing that to put him in the shop window of course).

by tigertattie Thu 21 Jun 2018, 10:18 am

Fair play to to boy.

In this day and age you need to look after No 1 and with a new baby then Sam H-C needs to have financial security first and foremost before looking at Scotland caps. Credit to him he's gone up to Toonie and asked about Scotland plans so it's not like he's just looking for the paycheck though

by Hazel Sapling Thu 21 Jun 2018, 10:21 am

Cockerill puff piece on Champions Cup draw. Hopes to upset a couple of the big boys.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/44554191

Don't think Glasgow are guaranteed anything. Lyon are not a bad side and we struggle to beat Cardiff frequently, let alone bonus point them. 19 points to guarantee a spot in the next round. That is 4 wins and 3 bonus points. There is a path there, but it likely needs a point against Sarries (who are surely going to be better?)

As for SHC, that is strange about the contract offer. He must have hacked people off. He has not developed well and only recently regained a bit of form (like Pyrgos). For his rugby career, leaving was the best option and Scarlets have a good coaching set-up. A good season challenging G Davies as his back-up (which is the first time there is another good scrum-half since Laidlaw), could put him into the World Cup frame.

by **RDW** Thu 21 Jun 2018, 10:30 am

In true Cockers style he is being brutally honest and downplaying our chances - he's said that no matter who we had in our group we probably wouldn't have qualified for the next round, so he's delighted to have some big beasts to test ourselves against! Exciting for the fans too.

by EWT Spoons Fri 22 Jun 2018, 10:28 am

I genuinely don’t know what to make of our (Edinburgh’s) chances in Europe.

Our pack, should be near equal to most, with an all international front row & 2nd row. Our back row is pretty tasty as well with Bradbury, Waston & Mata. So up front we should be competitive, at least. Injuries/suspensions etc permitting

In the backs, this is tricky, Duhan will be getting a full preseason and a wee break, unlike last season, so could be even better than he was last time out. However we have a new 10, no 9 of any real quality to speak of, plus Scott & Socino coming in, so not sure how that will all pan out.

I think we should be fairly competitive, but that’s no guarantee of actually doing anything in this tournament, especially when you look at Toulon and Montpellier, and Newcastle aren’t exactly a bad team either.

Worst case it will be a good experience for our players to understand what’s expected of them that at that level

by **RDW** Fri 22 Jun 2018, 10:38 am

Hodge and Grant extend their contracts by another year, and Strokosh is joining Edinburgh as a S&C coach.

Hodge hasn't covered himself in glory over the years, but the attack was certainly better last season. A year extension isn't exactly a glowing endorsement - especially with cockers extended to 2021 - but they're maybe being given next season to prove their worth.

by EWT Spoons Fri 22 Jun 2018, 11:05 am

Rumours are that Jim Hamilton is going to be joining the Edinburgh coaching staff as well in some capacity

by Hazel Sapling Fri 22 Jun 2018, 11:15 am

Are their many former forwards who are attacking coaches? Edinburgh looked much better with Cockerill in the forwards so maybe Grant is not that good.

Hamilton could be used at Glasgow to bring some combativeness. Could the 9 who is going to Edinburgh be Mike Blair to become the new attack coach?

by EWT Spoons Fri 22 Jun 2018, 11:27 am

Hazel Sapling wrote:Are their many former forwards who are attacking coaches? Edinburgh looked much better with Cockerill in the forwards so maybe Grant is not that good.

Sorry what?

Grant came in as coach at the same time as Cockerill, and our forwards have steadily improved.

by **RDW** Fri 22 Jun 2018, 11:31 am

Can't quite believe the Hamilton rumours - he's not done any coaching since retiring and is very much a media 'personality' now!

Agree with Spoons on Grant - he joined at the same time as cockers in his first job as assistant coach.

by EWT Spoons Fri 22 Jun 2018, 11:35 am

The rumour is that it would be more in a support role to allow him to continue the media stuff and let him do his coaching badges.

To be honest from what i can see the rumour is based upon him moving to Edinburgh, but I think that was always on the cards when his playing career ended, as he seems to regard Edinburgh as "home". So likely nothing in it.

by **BigGee** Sun 24 Jun 2018, 11:03 am

Glasgow get back into pre season tomorrow. Hope they are all refreshed and ready to go.

Hope we will start getting some news about the long awaited new signings for the Warriors as well.

If there were going to be any inter club moves, that have been rumoured but not confirmed, then I would imagine we will here about them in the not to distant future. They were never going to announce that during the test series, as it could have become a major distraction.

I would have thought that if it were Henry P going down the M8, there would have been some sighting of him in Edinburgh by now, they have been back training for two weeks now. My money is still on Ali P, if anyone is going to go.

Only two months till the start of the season, it will come around in no time!

by **RDW** Mon 25 Jun 2018, 9:09 am

https://www.606v2.com/t67676-scotland-end-of-season-summary-and-awards#3716105

by **RDW** Thu 28 Jun 2018, 9:21 am

Warriors have been back all week and still no signing announcements. Maybe there won't be any and the fans will well and truly self combust!

by **BigGee** Thu 28 Jun 2018, 9:45 am

They are just teasing us, know how to keep a suspense!

Glasgow social media has actually been uncharacteristically quiet as well, you would have thought seeing the players rolling back in after their summer holidays merited a tweet or two, but nothing really. Maybe it does not want us to see how unfit they all look!

Hopefully it just means that whoever runs the twitter account is still away and does not suggest a circling of the wagons! You don't get the feeling that DR is quite such a fan of Twitter that Toonie was.

On a more serious note, having been promised some signings and having some glaring weaknesses in our team, it is hard to imagine that some new players won't be arriving. The fact that they have not been announced yet strongly suggests they might be coming from the SH, which again would fit as DR would have a very good idea of what he was getting.

If none of that expectation really is not forthcoming, then RDW is right and surely the Glasgow Warriors forum will implode!

by jimbopip Thu 28 Jun 2018, 10:22 am

BigGee wrote:They are just teasing us, know how to keep a suspense!

Glasgow social media has actually been uncharacteristically quiet as well, you would have thought seeing the players rolling back in after their summer holidays merited a tweet or two, but nothing really. Maybe it does not want us to see how unfit they all look!

Hopefully it just means that whoever runs the twitter account is still away and does not suggest a circling of the wagons! You don't get the feeling that DR is quite such a fan of Twitter that Toonie was.

On a more serious note, having been promised some signings and having some glaring weaknesses in our team, it is hard to imagine that some new players won't be arriving. The fact that they have not been announced yet strongly suggests they might be coming from the SH, which again would fit as DR would have a very good idea of what he was getting. I get the feeling that during his holiday down under DR was looking to sign up a couple of prospects. Which would be good. But then again we will have to wait till their season is over and we will probably have a Huw Jones / Siua Halanokunaka long wait/no fitness wait till they get up to speed. So in effect no signing in the short term.

If none of that expectation really is not forthcoming, then RDW is right and surely the Glasgow Warriors forum will implode! Just off a night shift Gee? You normally make much more sense than this.

by **BigGee** Thu 28 Jun 2018, 10:38 am

No, just about to go to the dentist, so legs and brain clearly a bit wobbly!

by jimbopip Thu 28 Jun 2018, 10:49 am

I'm sure it'll be fine.

If he gives you a jag, you'll only feel a little prick. drumroll

Try the chicken and don't forget to tip your waitress.

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