Friday Fun - Boxing Limericks

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There is more than a lisp to Chris Eubank
Said Benn, climbing out of a poo tank
As when not in a ring
He jutht loveth to thing

Li'l Arthur and Jeff, down in Reno
One black, the other albino

Li'l Arthur and Jeff, down in Reno
Had a plan how to beat the casino

Li'l Arthur and Jeff, down in Reno
Had a plan how to beat the casino
Like ' Oceans Eleven '

Li'l Arthur and Jeff, down in Reno
Had a plan how to beat the casino
Like ' Oceans Eleven '
In a gamblers heaven

Li'l Arthur and Jeff, down in Reno
Had a plan how to beat the casino
Like ' Oceans Eleven '
In a gamblers heaven
Allegedly run by Latinos

With regret, I have reached the conclusion

With regret, I have reached the conclusion
That I'll never understand nuclear fusion

With regret, I have reached the conclusion
That I'll never understand nuclear fusion
Half lives, split atoms

With regret, I have reached the conclusion
That I'll never understand nuclear fusion
Half lives, split atoms
I get, but can't fathom

With regret, I have reached the conclusion
That I'll never understand nuclear fusion
Half lives, split atoms
I get, but can't fathom
if this is a boxing board, there seems to be confusion?

Lets return to the subject of boxing

Lets return to the subject of boxing
for fear of upsetting the oxring

Lets return to the subject of boxing
for fear of upsetting the oxring
Did Calzaghe deserve the decision

Lets return to the subject of boxing
for fear of upsetting the oxring
Did Calzaghe deserve the decision
There was some derision

Lets return to the subject of boxing
for fear of upsetting the oxring
Did Calzaghe deserve the decision
There was some derision
when the low blow dislodged BHop's c0ck ring.

Lets return to the subject of boxing
for fear of upsetting the oxring
Did Calzaghe deserve the decision
There was some derision
At B-Hops attempts at out-foxing

Lets return to the subject of boxing
for fear of upsetting the oxring
Did Calzaghe deserve the decision
There was some derision
when the low blow dislodged BHop's c0ck ring.

LOL!

Calzaghe retired undefeated

Calzaghe retired undefeated,
amongst accusations he cheated

Calzaghe retired undefeated,
amongst accusations he cheated
Did he fight the best?

Calzaghe retired undefeated,
amongst accusations he cheated
Did he fight the best?
Why, surely you jest !

Calzaghe retired undefeated,
amongst accusations he cheated
Did he fight the best?
Why, surely you jest !
This subject gets Zeus very heated

Michael Nunn from Davenport, Iowa

Calzaghe retired undefeated,
amongst accusations he cheated
Did he fight the best?
I have got to say yes,
Once they were buried, dug up then reheated

Michael Nunn from Davenport, Iowa
Enjoyed the display, and the flyover

Michael Nunn from Davenport, Iowa
Enjoyed the display, and the flyover
But in Earls Court hall
Little made him fall

Michael Nunn from Davenport, Iowa
Enjoyed the display, and the flyover
But in Earls Court hall
A boxer named Little (not small)

Michael Nunn from Davenport, Iowa
Enjoyed the display, and the flyover
But in Earls Court hall
Little made him fall
Guess that was something to cry over

I'm intrigued by Joe Cortez, the ref

I'm intrigued by Joe Cortez, the ref
His performances often bereft

I'm intrigued by Joe Cortez, the ref
His performances often bereft
Of reason or rhyme

I'm intrigued by Joe Cortez, the ref
His performances often bereft
Of reason or rhyme
and the test of time

I'm intrigued by Joe Cortez, the ref
His performances often bereft
Of reason or rhyme
and the test of time
Turns out that poor Joe is blind and stone deaf

My girlfriend's a fan of the boxing
She's particularly fond of Junior Witter

Yet still not as bad as Wyatt Earp

My girlfriend's a fan of Shed Seven
Really, her idea of Heaven
She's particularly fond of Rick Witter

My girlfriend's a fan of Shed Seven
Really, her idea of Heaven
She's particularly fond of Rick Witter
And loves to take it up the sh**ter

(Sorry!)

My girlfriend's a fan of Shed Seven
Her ideal man is Rick Witter
I said b0llocks to that
just take off your hat
And give me a run up the..(can't think of a last word..)

Yet still not as bad as Wyatt Earp
Jack took a knee, you twerp!

Yet still not as bad as Wyatt Earp
Jack took a knee, you twerp!
But a Colt forty five

There was a young lad name of Khan
whilst passing along a big barn,
Said that chicken walk's fine
I'll adopt it as mine

Yet still not as bad as Wyatt Earp
Jack took a knee, you twerp!
But a Colt forty five
Made Fitz take a dive

Yet still not as bad as Wyatt Earp
Jack took a knee, you twerp!
But a Colt forty five
Made Fitz take a dive
And left him, for the moment, usurped

" Pleased to meet you, " said the sweet Desiree

" Pleased to meet you, " said the sweet Desiree
When introduced to the Champ of the day

" Pleased to meet you, " said the sweet Desiree
When introduced to the Champ of the day
By the light of the moon

" Pleased to meet you, " said the sweet Desiree
When introduced to the Champ of the day
By the light of the moon
She blew up his balloon

" Pleased to meet you, " said the sweet Desiree
When introduced to the Champ of the day
By the light of the moon
She blew up his balloon
Career move or not ? Who's to say ?

Iron Mike, though convicted, never did it

Iron Mike, though convicted, never did it
he just shoved da fingers in da hairy pit

Iron Mike, though convicted, never did it
I think a better lawyer could have hid it