If a Tree Falls In a Forest...

First topic message reminder :

Having come to the conclusion on the podcast (cheap plug) that whether he can be seen or not, somewhere, some place, Mr Anderson is likely turning heel or face, and that Ric Flair is somewhere blading/bleeding it leads me to ask...what are certain wrestlers always going to be doing even though we cant see them?

Its a philosophical thought experiment based around wrestling!

I could see the Ultimate Warrior stubbornly working in a sales team refusing to sell anything but remaining on the staff.

Hulk Hogan actually working in what is meant to be a low level role, but interrupting board meetings and presentations to take over the pitch, brother, all the while parking everyday in the parking space reserved for the CEO.

John Cena most likely is followed around everywhere he goes by Michael Cole. The pair always get in situations where it looks like Cena isn't going to get things done. Maybe he needs to be at the dentist in 5 minutes, but theres 15 minutes of traffic. Michael Cole is extremely downtrodden "I just, I can't see how Cena can take much more of this punishment. He's miles away from where he wants to be right now, really stuck down and he can barely move"...but John somehow charges himself up and defies all the odds, suddenly his car jets into the air with a minute to spare and flies to the dentists office. "OH MY GOD, CENA'S DONE IT, HE MADE IT, I CAN'T BELIEVE CENA WON!"

My last one is that wherever Ryback goes, someone is always shouting "Goldberg" at him. "Ive got a letter for Mr Goldberg" as Ryback picks up his post. Or his gym buddies "Goldbergggggg, Goldbergggggg, Goldberggggg"

The premise should by now make more sense than I originally explained. Feel free to follow me if you think this could actually be funnier than my examples  

Somewhere, right now, ODB is chugging her special Wrestle Juice (or whatever it is she has in that flask).

Somewhere, right now, Eric Young is staring into a mirror while combing gunge out of his beard.

Somewhere, right now, Abyss is sleeping on the TNA TV title, like a dragon guarding its hoard.

Somewhere right now, Dixie Carter is cutting a promo and saying "You know what?" a LOT.

Somewhere right now, Hulk Hogan is saying "at the end of the day". the only time he isnt is when its the end of the day ironically.

Somewhere right now Booker T is doing a Spinaroonie

Hornswoggle is Hiding under a Ring,

Jericho is being the Best in the World and whatever he is doing,

Sandman is having a beer

Farooq is saying DAMN

Somewhere right now, mankind is having a nice day.

Somewhere right now Dixie Carter is announcing a World Exclusive idea that will send shockwaves through wrestling but will turn out to be a TNA tazo collection.

Somewhere, in a forest, a tree falls over and lands just in front of HHH. Because not even a tree is allowed to go over HHH.....

Somewhere, Batista is allowing weapons....

Somewhere, Jerry Lawler is cruising by a High School in a grubby van, squealing and shouting "puppies" out the window.... Whilst JR sits in the back berating him "Bah gawd King, that ain't right, they're like cherries on an ironing board"

Somewhere right now, Hobo is falling out with someone.

Somewhere right now Kendo Nagasaki is not being Japanese.

Someone right now is having an argument with Findlay.

Somewhere right now, vince is considering a prison b!tch gimmik for darren young

Somewhere right now, Vince is getting his arse buffed.

Somewhere right now, Gunner is eating a tangerine whilst Mike Tenay yells "Mr. Intensity!" at him repeatedly.

Somewhere right now, The Philippines are getting phucked the hell up.

Mr H wrote:Somewhere right now, The Philippines are getting phucked the hell up.

Too soon!

Mr H wrote:Somewhere right now, The Philippines are getting phucked the hell up.

Sounds like Fred Ottman is getting his own back for the Shockmaster debacle, not sure why he's taking it out on the Philippines though, surely he should be targetting Dusty Rhodes' house?

theundisputedY2D2 wrote:

Mr H wrote:Somewhere right now, The Philippines are getting phucked the hell up.

Sounds like Fred Ottman is getting his own back for the Shockmaster debacle, not sure why he's taking it out on the Philippines though, surely he should be targetting Dusty Rhodes' house?

I think what's happened is that Ottman decided to take it out of Dusty's family, but the Shockmaster helmet of doom impaired his hearing and when someone told him Cody is vanilla he misheard it as Cody is in Manila.

Mr H wrote:

theundisputedY2D2 wrote:

Mr H wrote:Somewhere right now, The Philippines are getting phucked the hell up.

Sounds like Fred Ottman is getting his own back for the Shockmaster debacle, not sure why he's taking it out on the Philippines though, surely he should be targetting Dusty Rhodes' house?

I think what's happened is that Ottman decided to take it out of Dusty's family, but the Shockmaster helmet of doom impaired his hearing and when someone told him Cody is vanilla he misheard it as Cody is in Manila.

That's the only plausible explanation

Somewhere, right now, Bully Ray is leaning menacingly over someone, booming "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"

Somewhere right now, there is a basketball holding a grudge.

Somewhere, right now, Batista is having friends for dinner, and after-dinner mints are just welcome, they're allowed.

somewhere right now there is a small hairy caterpillar looking for another top lip to perch upon after it's previous owner Cody Rhodes abandoned it

Somewhere right now John Morrison is doing hardcore parkour

Somewhere, right now, Ken Anderson is being an a**hole.

Somewhere, right now, Jeff Hardy is being charismatic and enigmatic, while arranging his facepaints by brand and colour and thinking up the lyrics to his next entrance theme.

Somewhere, right now, Matt Hardy is wishing he was his brother.

Somewhere right now, Chris Jericho is from Winnipeg you idiot.