The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by **Union Cane** Mon Mar 23, 2015 2:01 pm

First topic message reminder :

Rowley wrote:Got about 15 films for less than 40 quid so thought if I only like half of them it represents decent value. Unfortunately N by NW is not one of them, which is a pity as I have seen that and enjoyed it

Does it include that one with the birds, I forget what it is called.

by **Union Cane** Tue Mar 31, 2015 10:53 am

There's a dead bishop on the landing.

by **seanmichaels** Tue Mar 31, 2015 10:56 am

Union Cane wrote:There's a dead bishop on the landing.

Apologies in advance to the MODS but Cane is clearly the biggest f*cking c*nt this site has ever encountered (and I'll go so far as to include myself on that list) Never in all my days have I read such a monumentally stupid f*cking thing and I'll point out that I was here when Dave was in full flow.

I will occasionally call for a poster to be banned based on their previous stupidity and their habit of ruining the forum with their nationalistic nonsense or generally just being a tw*t but I'm going one further and asking that Cane be treated like a member of the old Soviet Polit bureau and removed from history entirely.

I will NOT stand for comments like the one he's just made above

by **Union Cane** Tue Mar 31, 2015 10:57 am

You not seen Python, sean?

by **seanmichaels** Tue Mar 31, 2015 11:00 am

Oh FFS. In joke?

by **Union Cane** Tue Mar 31, 2015 11:03 am

Probably not, they are all a bit young round here.

http://www.montypython.net/scripts/bishop.php

by Guest Tue Mar 31, 2015 11:09 am

This is a local forum for local people, there's nothing for you here!

by **Pal Joey** Tue Mar 31, 2015 11:15 am

Yeah, all 6... 5 of us.

by **seanmichaels** Tue Mar 31, 2015 11:17 am

The Loaded Dog wrote:Yeah, all 6... 5 of us.

Open top bus parades in Oz or taking it in their stride?

by **Pal Joey** Tue Mar 31, 2015 11:23 am

seanmichaels wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:Yeah, all 6... 5 of us.

Open top bus parades in Oz or taking it in their stride?

No, the euphoria wore off pretty quickly here. Life must go on... and such.
It was a bit embarrassing really. I'm off sport.
I'm sick of all the constant celebrations, booze, drugs, confetti & scantily clad women.
It really can get tiring. I need to try and pace myself more... and see if I can't escape it for a few hours a day, at least.

by Guest Tue Mar 31, 2015 12:14 pm

The Loaded Dog wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
The Loaded Dog wrote:Yeah, all 6... 5 of us.

Open top bus parades in Oz or taking it in their stride?

No, the euphoria wore off pretty quickly here. Life must go on... and such.
It was a bit embarrassing really. I'm off sport.
I'm sick of all the constant celebrations, booze, drugs, confetti & scantily clad women.
It really can get tiring. I need to try and pace myself more... and see if I can't escape it for a few hours a day, at least.

WHAT!???!!?!?!

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Mar 31, 2015 12:49 pm

Sh*t on here.

by **seanmichaels** Tue Mar 31, 2015 12:55 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at Legoland.

by Guest Tue Mar 31, 2015 12:59 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at LEGOLAND, I'd killed a bottle of wine and she wanted nothing more to do me after some ill advised paedo quips.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:00 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at Legoland.

No idea at all. It's Easter so all the clubs are off as well which doesn't help. No swimming lessons, no rugby, no ballet. I need to give it some serious thought.

You up to anything over the break?

by **Union Cane** Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:04 pm

seanmichaels wrote:Not much, just drinking Oranjeboom and I will probably do a sex on Sonia from Eastenders again.

by Guest Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:06 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at Legoland.

No idea at all. It's Easter so all the clubs are off as well which doesn't help. No swimming lessons, no rugby, no ballet. I need to give it some serious thought.

You up to anything over the break?

Why not spend some quality time with them instead of forking out a fortune to get the little f**kers entertained? My daughter enjoys going to the seaside...or space. We sit on the sofa and pretend were in a rocket or car and off we go. She knows about speeding and how to speak nicely to the traffic officer who invariably stops her (we claim to have a medical emergency and blag our way out of it). We go the beach, have a paddle in the sea, battle monsters (both in space and at the seaside) have a picnic and then come home again.

F*ck LEGOLAND...the plastic paedo's Paradise

by **seanmichaels** Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:06 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at Legoland.

No idea at all. It's Easter so all the clubs are off as well which doesn't help. No swimming lessons, no rugby, no ballet. I need to give it some serious thought.

You up to anything over the break?

Probably trying to lose Dave....

Couple of days at the cricket club, bit of rolling and cutting, then off to the old man's I think. Nothing special. Could do with a longer break in all honesty.

by Guest Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:07 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at Legoland.

No idea at all. It's Easter so all the clubs are off as well which doesn't help. No swimming lessons, no rugby, no ballet. I need to give it some serious thought.

You up to anything over the break?

Probably trying to lose Dave....

Couple of days at the cricket club, bit of rolling and cutting, then off to the old man's I think. Nothing special. Could do with a longer break in all honesty.

Good luck with that Seany baby

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:11 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at Legoland.

No idea at all. It's Easter so all the clubs are off as well which doesn't help. No swimming lessons, no rugby, no ballet. I need to give it some serious thought.

You up to anything over the break?
Why not spend some quality time with them instead of forking out a fortune to get the little f**kers entertained? My daughter enjoys going to the seaside...or space. We sit on the sofa and pretend were in a rocket or car and off we go. She knows about speeding and how to speak nicely to the traffic officer who invariably stops her (we claim to have a medical emergency and blag our way out of it). We go the beach, have a paddle in the sea, battle monsters (both in space and at the seaside) have a picnic and then come home again.

F*ck LEGOLAND...the plastic paedo's Paradise

Thanks, daddy day care.

by Guest Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:25 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at Legoland.

No idea at all. It's Easter so all the clubs are off as well which doesn't help. No swimming lessons, no rugby, no ballet. I need to give it some serious thought.

You up to anything over the break?
Why not spend some quality time with them instead of forking out a fortune to get the little f**kers entertained? My daughter enjoys going to the seaside...or space. We sit on the sofa and pretend were in a rocket or car and off we go. She knows about speeding and how to speak nicely to the traffic officer who invariably stops her (we claim to have a medical emergency and blag our way out of it). We go the beach, have a paddle in the sea, battle monsters (both in space and at the seaside) have a picnic and then come home again.

F*ck LEGOLAND...the plastic paedo's Paradise

Thanks, daddy day care.

You're welcome, unless you're being clever in which case I hope you get punched in the face and hospitalized.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:28 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh*t on here.

How are you going to enetertain the kids at the weekend? I had a conversation with someone at the weekend who was complaining about the prices at Legoland.

No idea at all. It's Easter so all the clubs are off as well which doesn't help. No swimming lessons, no rugby, no ballet. I need to give it some serious thought.

You up to anything over the break?
Why not spend some quality time with them instead of forking out a fortune to get the little f**kers entertained? My daughter enjoys going to the seaside...or space. We sit on the sofa and pretend were in a rocket or car and off we go. She knows about speeding and how to speak nicely to the traffic officer who invariably stops her (we claim to have a medical emergency and blag our way out of it). We go the beach, have a paddle in the sea, battle monsters (both in space and at the seaside) have a picnic and then come home again.

F*ck LEGOLAND...the plastic paedo's Paradise

Thanks, daddy day care.
You're welcome, unless you're being clever in which case I hope you get punched in the face and hospitalized.

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:30 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?

by **ShahenshahG** Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:31 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?

Yes Thats why she wants the weekend away from you

It'll loosen up on the weekend

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:35 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?

Yes Thats why she wants the weekend away from you

It'll loosen up on the weekend

What would all your wives think?

by **seanmichaels** Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:36 pm

by Guest Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:40 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?

Yes Thats why she wants the weekend away from you

It'll loosen up on the weekend

What would all your wives think?

Whatever he tells them?

by Guest Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:46 pm

Jeremy Kyle currently interviewing a blind man being investigated for fraud after he took part in 10 hours darts marathon.

The best bit is where they're talking about how he threw 180. Like f*ck he did!!!! After eight hours everyone decided to come up with the idea of telling him he'd thrown 180 for a p!ss take...how's the blind fella gonna know if they're telling the truth?

Me? I'd also have had people screaming "Ouch, my foot you b*st*rd!!!!" every so often, but then I see the humour in all situations...except Froch and his wife-to-be...THAT is not funny

by **ShahenshahG** Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:48 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?

Yes Thats why she wants the weekend away from you

It'll loosen up on the weekend

What would all your wives think?

They'd thank god for sparing them a second pregnancy this year

by Guest Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:53 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?

Yes Thats why she wants the weekend away from you

It'll loosen up on the weekend

What would all your wives think?

They'd thank god for sparing them a second pregnancy this year

Would you not just kick them down a flight of stairs....like last time?

by **ShahenshahG** Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:59 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?

Yes Thats why she wants the weekend away from you

It'll loosen up on the weekend

What would all your wives think?

They'd thank god for sparing them a second pregnancy this year
Would you not just kick them down a flight of stairs....like last time?

Sandals aren't conducive to kicking

by Guest Tue Mar 31, 2015 2:25 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?

Yes Thats why she wants the weekend away from you

It'll loosen up on the weekend

What would all your wives think?

They'd thank god for sparing them a second pregnancy this year
Would you not just kick them down a flight of stairs....like last time?

Sandals aren't conducive to kicking

Not to be taken literally...she goes down the stairs first and you shove her with your foot (booted, sandeled or otherwise)

by **ShahenshahG** Tue Mar 31, 2015 2:26 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:

His wife is away for the weekend...thats going to happen whether you hope for it or not

Are you still stiff?

And how is the neck?

Yes Thats why she wants the weekend away from you

It'll loosen up on the weekend

What would all your wives think?

They'd thank god for sparing them a second pregnancy this year
Would you not just kick them down a flight of stairs....like last time?

Sandals aren't conducive to kicking
Not to be taken literally...she goes down the stairs first and you shove her with your foot (booted, sandeled or otherwise)

I was calling my wife a sandal

by **JuliusHMarx** Tue Mar 31, 2015 2:35 pm

Sandalous.

by Hibbz Tue Mar 31, 2015 2:44 pm

Did she flip flop all the way downstairs?

It's all going off on the cricket board. Someone's taken offence to the term minnow being used to describe sh!te cricket teams and is threatening to take their bat and go home.

https://www.606v2.com/t58295p200-2015-world-cup-finals

by **ShahenshahG** Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:04 pm

Hibbz wrote:Did she flip flop all the way downstairs?

It's all going off on the cricket board. Someone's taken offence to the term minnow being used to describe sh!te cricket teams and is threatening to take their bat and go home.

https://www.606v2.com/t58295p200-2015-world-cup-finals

She wouldn't do that, she's a clever clogs

by Guest Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:06 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
Hibbz wrote:Did she flip flop all the way downstairs?

It's all going off on the cricket board. Someone's taken offence to the term minnow being used to describe sh!te cricket teams and is threatening to take their bat and go home.

https://www.606v2.com/t58295p200-2015-world-cup-finals

She wouldn't do that, she's a clever clogs

Bad form to kick a loved one down the stairs Shah, probably something in one of those religious texts about it but I'd never mock a sin!

by **seanmichaels** Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:12 pm

How is pushing one's wife down the stairs as a form of contraception less offensive than dutch girls with large boobs should be punished!?!?

by Hibbz Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:13 pm

I bet Sean would slip her a length.

Gospel.

by Guest Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:17 pm

seanmichaels wrote:

How is pushing one's wife down the stairs as a form of contraception less offensive than dutch girls with large boobs should be punished!?!?

I can't believe you need this explaining to you but here goes....

I'm a breast man

by **seanmichaels** Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:20 pm

This forum is turning into a ~~Funny Farm~~ Mental Health Recovery Centre.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:32 pm

seanmichaels wrote:

How is pushing one's wife down the stairs as a form of contraception less offensive than dutch girls with large boobs should be punished!?!?

I found a cheap and effective form of male contraception.

Put a stone in your shoe.

Makes you limp.

drumroll

by Guest Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:34 pm

I know, the sooner it gets back to being a BREASTS APPRECIATION SITE, the better

by **ShahenshahG** Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:43 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:

How is pushing one's wife down the stairs as a form of contraception less offensive than dutch girls with large boobs should be punished!?!?

I found a cheap and effective form of male contraception.

Put a stone in your shoe.

Makes you limp.

An angry son?

by Guest Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:44 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:

How is pushing one's wife down the stairs as a form of contraception less offensive than dutch girls with large boobs should be punished!?!?

I found a cheap and effective form of male contraception.

Put a stone in your shoe.

Makes you limp.

An angry son?

My wife just points at it and laughs nastily....tends to do the trick

by **seanmichaels** Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:45 pm

DAVE667 wrote:I know, the sooner it gets back to being a BREASTS APPRECIATION SITE, the better

You were joking earlier weren't you?

by **ShahenshahG** Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:47 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:I know, the sooner it gets back to being a BREASTS APPRECIATION SITE, the better

You were joking earlier weren't you?

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:47 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
My wife just points at it and laughs nastily....tends to do the trick

If it's any consolation Dave, your wife does the same to mine.

by **seanmichaels** Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:59 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:I know, the sooner it gets back to being a BREASTS APPRECIATION SITE, the better

You were joking earlier weren't you?

I genuinely thought he was being serious. typed out a long scathing comeback then realised it was an anonymous internet forum full of geeks like Cane.

by Guest Tue Mar 31, 2015 4:31 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
My wife just points at it and laughs nastily....tends to do the trick

If it's any consolation Dave, your wife does the same to mine.

I know, the photos she took of it were hilarious...still, guys like us are always going to struggle when there are real men like Sean around

by Guest Tue Mar 31, 2015 4:33 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:I know, the sooner it gets back to being a BREASTS APPRECIATION SITE, the better

You were joking earlier weren't you?

I genuinely thought he was being serious. typed out a long scathing comeback then realised it was an anonymous internet forum full of geeks like Cane.

Think I've nailed it....that's what Sean says to his mates when he sees a woman whose name he doesn't know/can't remember

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