The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by **superflyweight** Thu 07 May 2015, 9:15 am

First topic message reminder :

Labour are in where I live. Should probably be the same again but who knows with the amount of numpties in Scotland who have fallen for the line that the SNP is a left-wing progressive party.

by Adam D Mon 01 Jun 2015, 9:00 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:The strangest thing happened on Saturday. I needed to pop into our local town to go to the post office. I was wandering around the market place when a big chap lumbered into view looking slightly confused.

He was wearing full on cricket kit. Whites, shirt, big knitted jumper, the whole get up.

When I got a bit closer, it was only bloody ex-England off spinner and canny lower order batsman John Emburey! I sh*t you not.

I think he had lost his car or something as he was looking very confused. I was going to ask him if he needed help but lost my nerve. No idea what he was doing their in full cricket gear at 09:30 in the morning.

Bizarre stuff.

swear to god, I was thinking about John Embury on the weekend!

It was due to a story that a friend once told me where he went to see Essex play (I am guessing Embury played for them) and whilst not bolwing he was in the outfield next to the crowd. So to entertain them during the slow passages, he did a few press ups (impressive for a man of his size). Whilst mid press up, the batsman hit a four straight past him to a cheer from the crowd.

by **Galted** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 9:30 am

It was almost certainly Raf who hit the 4 past him.

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 9:42 am

Galted wrote:It was almost certainly Raf who hit the 4 past him.

Couldn't have been Coxy otherwise it would have been a 6.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 9:47 am

rick_dagless wrote:
Galted wrote:It was almost certainly Raf who hit the 4 past him.

Couldn't have been Coxy otherwise it would have been a 6.

With a Nine Iron made of Ivory

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 10:27 am

Shah wrote:With a Nine Iron made of Ivory

That he won in a king of the internet competition..

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 10:37 am

rick_dagless wrote:
Shah wrote:With a Nine Iron made of Ivory

That he won in a king of the internet competition..

that he was entered in unknowingly by a user named IwishIwasascoolasCox even though he had decided not to participate to let someone else have a chance

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 10:51 am

Shah wrote:that he was entered in unknowingly by a user named IwishIwasascoolasCox even though he had decided not to participate to let someone else have a chance

And the user was then outed as God, who being a creature of perfection could not allow such an injustice happen to one of his peers.

by Guest Mon 01 Jun 2015, 11:36 am

All this was however rendered irrelevant as Coxy returned to the pavilion only to find sean servicing his bird whilst drinking super strength cider and arranging to f*ck another 12 women later that day

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 1:17 pm

That is probably wher he is now...

I see that SLAYER have just announced tour dates with ANTHRAX, and some other band beginning with KVE....

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 2:04 pm

Has everyone run out of Z list anecdotes?

by Rowley Mon 01 Jun 2015, 2:18 pm

Never Rick, I once met the double take brother who was not Harry Enfield in a night club in Tenerife. Nice guy, took our addresses and send me and the mate a signed photo and letter.

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 2:30 pm

Sounds like a decent chap Jeff...

Always nice when they follow up on their words, and a zinger of a z-list to boot!

by **Galted** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 2:38 pm

I once saw Laura Dern in a film about dinosaurs.

by **Galted** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 5:49 pm

Galted wrote:I once saw Laura Dern in a film about dinosaurs.

Well I thought my post was quite funny.

by **Galted** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 6:02 pm

Guess I'm the only one.

by **Galted** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 6:02 pm

Well, f*ck you.

by **Galted** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 6:03 pm

F*ck all of you except Jeff.

by **Galted** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 6:03 pm

And except for Julius as well.

by **Galted** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 6:04 pm

F*ck Tino and Womble especially.

by **Galted** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 6:04 pm

Dagless not so much.

by **Galted** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 6:04 pm

Michaels a lot as he's not here to be offended.

by **Galted** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 6:05 pm

Hammersmith harrier not so much due to his excellent contributions on the fifa corruption thread.

by **Galted** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 6:05 pm

But f*ck everyone else the normal amount.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 01 Jun 2015, 8:48 pm

About 10 posts ago -

Galted wrote: I've seen Rupert Grint. It was in a play though so I was half-expecting to.

Then -

Galted wrote:
Galted wrote:I once saw Laura Dern in a film about dinosaurs.
Well I thought my post was quite funny.

You've done almost the same joke in the space of a few posts. No-one l*l out loud at the first one, why would they laugh at the second one?

This just makes you look like a massive b*llend. A massive, Hi-Tec wearing b*llend.

by **Galted** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 9:38 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:About 10 posts ago -

Galted wrote: I've seen Rupert Grint. It was in a play though so I was half-expecting to.

Then -

Galted wrote:
Galted wrote:I once saw Laura Dern in a film about dinosaurs.
Well I thought my post was quite funny.

You've done almost the same joke in the space of a few posts. No-one l*l out loud at the first one, why would they laugh at the second one?

This just makes you look like a massive b*llend. A massive, Hi-Tec wearing b*llend.

Because no-one l*lled at the first one and congratulated me for being such an exceptionally funny chap and for brightening their lives I assumed that they'd missed it and cunningly disguised it for re-use.

Might use it again in the next music round in its third guise.

You might want to review your post and place a hyphen between "Hi-Tec" and "wearing".

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 01 Jun 2015, 9:49 pm

Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:About 10 posts ago -

Galted wrote: I've seen Rupert Grint. It was in a play though so I was half-expecting to.

Then -

Galted wrote:
Galted wrote:I once saw Laura Dern in a film about dinosaurs.
Well I thought my post was quite funny.

You've done almost the same joke in the space of a few posts. No-one l*l out loud at the first one, why would they laugh at the second one?

This just makes you look like a massive b*llend. A massive, Hi-Tec wearing b*llend.
Because no-one l*lled at the first one and congratulated me for being such an exceptionally funny chap and for brightening their lives I assumed that they'd missed it and cunningly disguised it for re-use.

Might use it again in the next music round in its third guise.

You might want to review your post and place a hyphen between "Hi-Tec" and "wearing".

I've reviewed it as you suggest. I've decided to leave the hyphen out.

But, after the review, I realise I should have called you a c*nt. That would have complimented the original post nicely.

You silly, silly c*nt.

by **Galted** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 10:05 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:About 10 posts ago -

Galted wrote: I've seen Rupert Grint. It was in a play though so I was half-expecting to.

Then -

Galted wrote:
Galted wrote:I once saw Laura Dern in a film about dinosaurs.
Well I thought my post was quite funny.

You've done almost the same joke in the space of a few posts. No-one l*l out loud at the first one, why would they laugh at the second one?

This just makes you look like a massive b*llend. A massive, Hi-Tec wearing b*llend.
Because no-one l*lled at the first one and congratulated me for being such an exceptionally funny chap and for brightening their lives I assumed that they'd missed it and cunningly disguised it for re-use.

Might use it again in the next music round in its third guise.

You might want to review your post and place a hyphen between "Hi-Tec" and "wearing".

I've reviewed it as you suggest. I've decided to leave the hyphen out.

But, after the review, I realise I should have called you a c*nt. That would have complimented the original post nicely.

You silly, silly c*nt.

You might want to review your post and use "complemented" instead of "complimented". The first usage of "c*nt" probably deserves a set of inverted commas as well.

by **JuliusHMarx** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 10:51 pm

I once walked past the guy who played Leonard in Butterflies.

by **Dolphin Ziggler** Mon 01 Jun 2015, 11:31 pm

I have a copy of one of the Spot books signed by the illustrator/author.

by **Union Cane** Tue 02 Jun 2015, 7:05 am

I'm not Charles Kennedy.

Superfly?

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 02 Jun 2015, 7:15 am

Union wrote:I'm not Charles Kennedy.

Superfly?

Alcoholic fabricator of truths? Sean?

Morning Union

by **Union Cane** Tue 02 Jun 2015, 7:34 am

Morning Rick, morning et al

Won't be around again today, you boys behave.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 02 Jun 2015, 7:41 am

Anything exciting or all sprog based?

by Rowley Tue 02 Jun 2015, 7:44 am

Morning all, nothing to add beyond that but important to clear up my non Charles Kennedy status.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 02 Jun 2015, 7:57 am

Morning Jeff, glad to hear it...

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue 02 Jun 2015, 8:08 am

I'm not him either.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 02 Jun 2015, 8:16 am

Excellent, this cup would never get finished if you were...

by **superflyweight** Tue 02 Jun 2015, 9:19 am

I'm generally too angry to be Charles Kennedy. He always seemed like a happy person.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 02 Jun 2015, 9:24 am

super wrote:He always seemed like a ~~happy~~ merry person.

by Guest Tue 02 Jun 2015, 10:21 am

I have the autobiography of Kellie (aka Frank) Maloney signed back when he was a bloke and not an abomination in the eyes of the Lord (too much like Shah?)

by Guest Tue 02 Jun 2015, 10:32 am

rick_dagless wrote:
super wrote:He always seemed like a ~~happy~~ merry person.

He was Health spokesman for Scotland during his career!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a p1ss easy job just stand up every couple of weeks and say "they're overweight alcoholic druggies and they're f*cked"

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 02 Jun 2015, 11:00 am

DAVE wrote:He was Health spokesman for Scotland during his career

That is similar to being minister for international relations in N Korea

by **Galted** Tue 02 Jun 2015, 11:51 am

Pretty tragic news, has moved me to write a tribute.

RIP Charles Kennedy
your face and hair were red
RIP Charles Kennedy
cos now you're mainly dead

RIP Charles Kennedy
though you were probably quite wealthy
the fact that you were Scottish means
you were not very healthy

at least the Dead Kennedys have a new member.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 02 Jun 2015, 12:37 pm

Afternoon gents. I see Rays poetry hasn't improved

by Rowley Tue 02 Jun 2015, 12:40 pm

I found it quite moving Shah, always nice to finish with a reasonably obscure punk reference as well. Shows we have other tricks up our sleeve than Lloyd Cole lyrics.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 02 Jun 2015, 12:49 pm

You had a Richie Woodhall moment there Rowley. All that poetry was kovalev smashing the sh*t out of cleverly and what youve said is that cleverly landed a good jab before he was stopped.

by Guest Tue 02 Jun 2015, 12:51 pm

ShahenshahG wrote:You had a Richie Woodhall moment there Rowley. All that poetry was kovalev smashing the sh*t out of cleverly and what youve said is that cleverly landed a good jab before he was stopped.

I would have gone for the "there's a steaming great turd on the floor but the fly that landed on it had a pretty iridescent thorax"

by **superflyweight** Tue 02 Jun 2015, 12:54 pm

Truss wrote:I prefer pec dec to DB Flyes as I can concentrate on the squeeze better..........and I prefer them to cable crossovers because I never perfected the tree hugging technique..

Sir, Truss is talking about I play with my 2inch man sausage techniques again.

Jesus, the profanity filter is good!

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 02 Jun 2015, 1:00 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:You had a Richie Woodhall moment there Rowley. All that poetry was kovalev smashing the sh*t out of cleverly and what youve said is that cleverly landed a good jab before he was stopped.
I would have gone for the "there's a steaming great turd on the floor but the fly that landed on it had a pretty iridescent thorax"

I was trying to spare rays feelings lest he starts f*cking tarantulas in his grief but I cede to your description

by **JuliusHMarx** Tue 02 Jun 2015, 1:18 pm

Galted wrote:Pretty tragic news, has moved me to write a tribute.

RIP Charles Kennedy
your face and hair were red
RIP Charles Kennedy
cos now you're mainly dead

RIP Charles Kennedy
though you were probably quite wealthy
the fact that you were Scottish means
you were not very healthy

at least the Dead Kennedys have a new member.

Maybe he's not dead - just on holiday in Cambodia.

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