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The official ryder cup thread.....

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Post by McLaren Wed 26 Sep - 14:22

or at least what it should look like if we ignore the over hyped nature of the event;

The Ryder cup will be contested over Medinah country clubs number 3 course where Tiger Woods has won two of his four PGA championships. This is a rather odd choice of venue for a nation so patriotic like America, as the clubhouse is styled on the headquarters of the terrorists. And we know how much the terrorists hate America, and vice versa? The fans won’t know whether to watch the golf or build bunkers in their back gardens. The invasion has started!

We can only hope however, that the importance of golf’s second biggest team exhibition match – the most important being the Tavistock – is not overshadowed by such politics. Although, politics are set to overshadow the performance of one British player competing this week. The finest golfer in all of the Queens land is set to declare his nationality as Greek, in the hope he will not have to compete in this Mickey Mouse event next time around.

The captains have only very inconsequential decisions to make during the week yet one of them has already arsed it up. Ollie has decided that wearing orange was the only way to stop young Rory defecting. The reasoning of course being that Rory will be supporting the Florida gators after he switches to the US full time.

The only other influence the captains have on the outcome of the match is in their decision of golf buggy driving style. The manner in which they and their VC’s maneuver the buggy around the course can set the tone for the way the team plays. At least I assume that’s what they are doing, as there is no other logical reason for driving around like a headless chicken trying to use a walkie talkie.

What the vice captains do when not trying to drive like a peacock would dance with its plumage is all a little vague. I wonder if they provide protection from the Ryder cup troll, aka monty. Any player suffering the misfortune of hearing this beast, which is so excitable around Ryder cup season, may never make sense of anything ever again.

I guess we cant forget that somehow this buffoon managed to win the thing, proving the ceremonial nature of the captains position. But who will win this time?

The yanks are likely to be spooked playing in the shadows of a minaret but the Europeans will have to cope with the only thing more vacuous than westwood, monty’s and Donald’s major trophy cabinets combined……. Paul McGinley. Have you ever heard the fool witter on during the sky coverage?

The deciding factor will of course be, something that would require more wasted thought on this over bloated charity for majorless European golfers.

There we have it, they level of seriousness with which you should view this event unless you are a man boobed fake Scottish bloke with a huge whole in your CV.


Last edited by McLaren on Thu 27 Sep - 18:44; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : spelling)
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Post by super_realist Wed 26 Sep - 14:24

Laugh

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Post by GunsGerms Wed 26 Sep - 14:45

At least McGinley has more personality/likability in his left nad than Monty, Donald and Westwood combined. I guess thats why he is a vice captain.

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Post by Diggers Wed 26 Sep - 14:50

Gunsgerms, you usually find that people with bags of personality dont tend to appeal to everyone, you either tend to love them or hate them.
Nothing at all to dislike about Donald as far as I can see though, apart from is inability to play decent golf in a major until the last day. But if not playing decent golf was a reason to dislike someone then McGinley wouldnt be very popular at all.....

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Post by super_realist Wed 26 Sep - 14:55

Can't see much to dislike about Westwood either. Seems pretty down to earth. Certainly seemed decent enough in his 606 days.

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Post by John Cregan Wed 26 Sep - 14:58

thumbsup Outstanding contribution.

Hope our friend Iain (why the second"i") Carter has a snoop at this and sends it on to his old mate Monty, the "2010 BBC Coach of the Year" lest we forget................

How would McIlroy turning Greek make him any less European??

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Post by GunsGerms Wed 26 Sep - 14:58

Diggers wrote:Gunsgerms, you usually find that people with bags of personality dont tend to appeal to everyone, you either tend to love them or hate them.
Nothing at all to dislike about Donald as far as I can see though, apart from is inability to play decent golf in a major until the last day. But if not playing decent golf was a reason to dislike someone then McGinley wouldnt be very popular at all.....

I didn't say I dislike Donald he is just boring, a wallflower. Yes sometimes bags of personality can divide opinion. I do like Poulter actually, many don't. Would be great if he won a major ahead of Donald and Westwood.

McGinley was never a champion golfer but he has contributed well to the Ryder cup and by all accounts a pretty popular guy amongst the players.

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Post by John Cregan Wed 26 Sep - 15:03

GunsGerms wrote:At least McGinley has more personality/likability in his left nad than Monty, Donald and Westwood combined. I guess thats why he is a vice captain.

A bit harsh on Donald & Westwood that................you can say what you like about Monty though!!

I find McGinley a bit(a lot) OTT about the Seve Trophy and the Ryder Cup and don't understand why he is touted as a future RC Captain given his average career.....................

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Post by Diggers Wed 26 Sep - 15:04

Its difficlut to say if Donald is boring, he just chooses not to show too much of himself in interviews etc or even on the course. For all we know he is a laugh riot with his mates. He is intelligent and well spoken and always seems to have a smile on his face, I doubt very much he is boring in reality personally.
McGinley is exactly the sort of golfer that makes me not love the RC, its like what they do in that event makes up for a career of relative underachievement and mediocrity. I say underachievement as I believe Harrington has said he is not nearly as talented a player as McGinley.
That said it doesnt mean he still isn't a good bloke.



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Post by Hibbz Wed 26 Sep - 15:07

GunsGerms wrote:At least McGinley has more personality/likability in his left nad than Monty, Donald and Westwood combined. I guess thats why he is a vice captain.

And that's all you took out of that? Bad luck McLaren you shouldn't have wasted your time with the rest of it.

I'm still trying to decide who I want to win the Ryder Cup. Europe have my favourite player (Kaymer) but also my two least favourite (McDowell, Poulter), whilst USA have Dustin Johnson and Watson who I like but Mickelson who I dislike and a load that I'm pretty ambivalent towards.

Europe also have Molinari, Garcia and Rose who I'd want to win but Westwood (an ever increasing fondness for himself) and Donald (Insipid) who I'll want to lose. I'd be happy for Jose and Jimenez if Europe win but would hate the thought that Clarke and heaven forbid Montgomerie's smug faces would appear.

Maybe I'll just watch and try and enjoy each match as it comes but have a horrible feeling the brainless, mindless morons in the crowd and partisan idiots in the commentary box will make it all unbearable.

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Post by super_realist Wed 26 Sep - 15:10

I too think it will be a difficult watch unless there are snipers posted around the place for the "betheClub", "youdaman", "mashedpotatotypes".


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Post by Diggers Wed 26 Sep - 15:12

Im utterly ambivalent to who wins to be honest but am interested to see who plays well in the match.

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Post by GunsGerms Wed 26 Sep - 15:22

US will probably win by a narrow margin. Home crowd is worth a few points. Hopefully it will be close though and exciting.

I hope the US crowd gets feisty as they normally do. Having said that it is all getting a bit OTT now with people like Justin Timberlake getting involved and other sideshows ala the super bowl etc.

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Post by John Cregan Wed 26 Sep - 15:24

Diggers wrote:Im utterly ambivalent to who wins to be honest but am interested to see who plays well in the match.

I used to really care..........not anymore. Don't know if it's down to the success Europe have had or just, as you get older, things don't matter as much.................


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Post by SmithersJones Wed 26 Sep - 15:25

What's wrong with you lot? We know Diggers is a closet septic but if you're from either Europe or the US then that's who you want to win. If you're not bothered, f off from the thread.
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Post by super_realist Wed 26 Sep - 15:25

I hear America are keeping up with the times by having Chicago play at the opening ceremony. Surprised that the American attire isn't a Canadian Texedo (denims) and a mullet hat.

Chicago. Can't they get anything more current than that?

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Post by John Cregan Wed 26 Sep - 15:28

SmithersJones wrote:What's wrong with you lot? We know Diggers is a closet septic but if you're from either Europe or the US then that's who you want to win. If you're not bothered, f off from the thread.

Take it easy there............you can love the RC without being overly boythered who wins............deal with it!!

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Post by GunsGerms Wed 26 Sep - 15:28

SmithersJones wrote:What's wrong with you lot? We know Diggers is a closet septic but if you're from either Europe or the US then that's who you want to win. If you're not bothered, f off from the thread.

Most people who say they dont care are either not completely telling the truth or will start to care once the action starts. Cregan is right though the older you get the less you care.

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Post by GunsGerms Wed 26 Sep - 15:30

Why would you use your real name John Cregan?

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Post by Hibbz Wed 26 Sep - 15:30

SmithersJones wrote:What's wrong with you lot? We know Diggers is a closet septic but if you're from either Europe or the US then that's who you want to win. If you're not bothered, f off from the thread.

Hmm I'm going to hazard a guess you didn't actually read McLaren's post, just the title.

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Post by super_realist Wed 26 Sep - 15:30

I believe Diggers, he has always maintained his disdain for the Ryder Cup.

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Post by dynamark Wed 26 Sep - 15:32

Good effort mac.Will have to make do with the BBC highlights so presumably Hazel asking the usual bland questions and getting the standard answers.
really hope it is decided by a stroke of genius rather than a duffed shot under pressure.

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Post by McLaren Wed 26 Sep - 15:33

"f off from the thread."

Please read my original post as Hibbz said. You will see that if anything this is the thread for those that dont give a poopie.
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Post by Diggers Wed 26 Sep - 15:35

Im not sure why it makes you a closet septic just because you dont get a hard on over the complete and utter made up marketing ploy that is Team Europe.

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Post by super_realist Wed 26 Sep - 15:37

Can't you argue that every tournament or sports competition has become overly commercial though?

There aren't many about the actual joy of sport.

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Post by GunsGerms Wed 26 Sep - 15:44

super_realist wrote:Can't you argue that every tournament or sports competition has become overly commercial though?

There aren't many about the actual joy of sport.

GAA. Amature sport attracting crowds of 80k plus for the final. Not commercial at all really.

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Post by super_realist Wed 26 Sep - 15:46

I'm sure Guinness don't miss a trick though. Only not commercial I imagine because the rest of the world aren't interested. Local companies probably put up a lot of support for it.

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Post by Shotrock Wed 26 Sep - 15:51

Mac - Great post - very entertaining! No chance I'll be playing a drinking game, taking a swill every time I hear another hackneyed cliche (from either side). My liver can't take it.

Think those walkie-talkies actually have batteries in them? Captain to co-captain ... "tell our players to hit better shots ... over ..."


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Post by McLaren Wed 26 Sep - 15:54

I wonder if the walkie-talkies are just a hotline to the bar. Well DC's one might be at least.
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Post by Skydriver Wed 26 Sep - 16:02

I'm eager to see whether the European (partic British) travelling support bring along their sarcasm and singing voices.

Was very entertained last time by "There's only 2 Molinaris", "He's got your major" [to D Johnson, referring to M Kaymer in the opening 4 ball], "He's got more hair than you" [to S Cink, gamely doffing his cap, referring to R Mc], "Haven't you got double maths now" [to R Fowler] etc etc.

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Post by John Cregan Wed 26 Sep - 16:03

GunsGerms wrote:Why would you use your real name John Cregan?

I never contemplated making up a fake name..........don't see the point if im honest........

Personally, I would like if everyone used their real neme..............psuedonoms sometimes allow people to say more outrageous things.................

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Post by super_realist Wed 26 Sep - 16:06

Skydriver wrote:I'm eager to see whether the European (partic British) travelling support bring along their sarcasm and singing voices.

Was very entertained last time by "There's only 2 Molinaris", "He's got your major" [to D Johnson, referring to M Kaymer in the opening 4 ball], "He's got more hair than you" [to S Cink, gamely doffing his cap, referring to R Mc], "Haven't you got double maths now" [to R Fowler] etc etc.

I would think it will be drowned out by the unimaginative shouts of "YOUESSAAYY".


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Post by Shotrock Wed 26 Sep - 16:12

Speaking of DC ... played a certain private course in New Jersey last weekend and evidently DC just joined. Member tells me he's a very entertaining guy to be around and just delightful. No surprise there.

Upon reflection, I think this having Chicago play is just another ploy by Davis Love. I would check the US team for clear ear wax ... or advise the Euro Squad to inject same.

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Post by Hibbz Wed 26 Sep - 16:13

Skydriver wrote:I'm eager to see whether the European (partic British) travelling support bring along their sarcasm and singing voices.

Was very entertained last time by "There's only 2 Molinaris", "He's got your major" [to D Johnson, referring to M Kaymer in the opening 4 ball], "He's got more hair than you" [to S Cink, gamely doffing his cap, referring to R Mc], "Haven't you got double maths now" [to R Fowler] etc etc.

Can't people just watch the golf and applaud appropriately? Why the need to "amuse" those around you with your startling wit?

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Post by super_realist Wed 26 Sep - 16:16

Hibbz wrote:
Skydriver wrote:I'm eager to see whether the European (partic British) travelling support bring along their sarcasm and singing voices.

Was very entertained last time by "There's only 2 Molinaris", "He's got your major" [to D Johnson, referring to M Kaymer in the opening 4 ball], "He's got more hair than you" [to S Cink, gamely doffing his cap, referring to R Mc], "Haven't you got double maths now" [to R Fowler] etc etc.

Can't people just watch the golf and applaud appropriately? Why the need to "amuse" those around you with your startling wit?


Far cry from schoolboys in the park, jackets for goalposts, rush goalie Two at the back, three in the middle, four up front, one's gone home for his tea. Beans on toast? Possibly, don't quote me on that. Marvellous.

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Post by McLaren Wed 26 Sep - 16:20

"Far cry from schoolboys in the park, jackets for goalposts, rush goalie Two at the back, three in the middle, four up front, one's gone home for his tea. Beans on toast? Possibly, don't quote me on that. Marvellous. "

Have you been drinking?


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you got any pictures of your round?
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Post by Shotrock Wed 26 Sep - 16:26

Mac - No pictures, I should have taken some!


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Post by Hibbz Wed 26 Sep - 16:30

super_realist wrote:
Hibbz wrote:
Skydriver wrote:I'm eager to see whether the European (partic British) travelling support bring along their sarcasm and singing voices.

Was very entertained last time by "There's only 2 Molinaris", "He's got your major" [to D Johnson, referring to M Kaymer in the opening 4 ball], "He's got more hair than you" [to S Cink, gamely doffing his cap, referring to R Mc], "Haven't you got double maths now" [to R Fowler] etc etc.

Can't people just watch the golf and applaud appropriately? Why the need to "amuse" those around you with your startling wit?


Far cry from schoolboys in the park, jackets for goalposts, rush goalie Two at the back, three in the middle, four up front, one's gone home for his tea. Beans on toast? Possibly, don't quote me on that. Marvellous.

Ha ha. Isn't hmm, isn't it?

Coincidentally whenever I hear one of these so called wits shouting out it often makes me think of Colin Hunt the office ****

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Post by incontinentia Wed 26 Sep - 16:42

Monty even sang last time, in the key of O Major.
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Post by SmithersJones Wed 26 Sep - 17:14

I'nt t'Ryder Cup Brilliant!
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Post by McLaren Wed 26 Sep - 23:09

This being the official thread should it not be a sticky ban?
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Post by SmithersJones Thu 27 Sep - 10:56

I particularly enjoyed this from my favourite daily newspaper; Daily M...
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Post by incontinentia Thu 27 Sep - 12:29

anyone got a puke bucket...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/golf/rydercup/9569640/Ryder-Cup-2012-US-captain-Davis-Love-breaks-down-in-tears-talking-about-his-team-ahead-of-Medinah-showdown.html

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Post by super_realist Thu 27 Sep - 12:42

What a POOF!

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Post by GunsGerms Thu 27 Sep - 12:44

Its all theatrics for US tv audiences. They love that sh1t.

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Post by McLaren Thu 27 Sep - 12:44

I thought the ryder cup had hit rock bottom until I read that incon. What a really sad event this is these days.
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Post by Shotrock Thu 27 Sep - 13:52

Hey Davis -- get a life!!


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Post by super_realist Thu 27 Sep - 13:55

First mistake from Davis and play hasn't even begun. Yahoo

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Post by raycastleunited Thu 27 Sep - 15:09

good article mac

I have to say I was surprised when I saw Medinah for the first time. Incredible that the Yanks would choose to host the Ryder Cup at a course named after the holy Islamic city where Muhammed died, and which features a mosque as its clubhouse.

Maybe they figured that this reduces the threat of a terrorist attack?

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Post by pedro Thu 27 Sep - 15:25

incontinentia wrote:anyone got a puke bucket...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/golf/rydercup/9569640/Ryder-Cup-2012-US-captain-Davis-Love-breaks-down-in-tears-talking-about-his-team-ahead-of-Medinah-showdown.html

Captain Love in love....?

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