The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by Rowley Fri 05 Aug 2016, 8:37 am

First topic message reminder :

I hope Jules is quick enough to get the thread split with one of his puns. Would hate it to be something tedious.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 11 Aug 2016, 9:25 am

Sex Games.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 11 Aug 2016, 9:27 am

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sex Games.

50 shades of black and blue in your case

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 11 Aug 2016, 9:29 am

ShahenshahG wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sex Games.

50 shades of black and blue in your case

I don't have sex with my children, Shah.

I'm not a monster. Or Welsh.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 11 Aug 2016, 12:08 pm

Tino'ed good and proper.

by Guest Thu 11 Aug 2016, 12:18 pm

Afternoon all, Mrs667 has decided she'd going to be an expert in synchronized diving. Not 100% sure she's suitable as she seems to spend a lot of time commentating on the tightness of abs or swimming trunks. Still, I'll get my own back when Jess Ennis is on!!!!

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 11 Aug 2016, 3:26 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEUjx2cPyaY

Come on lads, someone needs to make this!

by **ShahenshahG** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:04 am

Morning Notches

Friday Mubarak

by **rIck_dAgless** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:10 am

morning Shah, happy Friday to your good self.

MY weekend is setting up to be a right pain in the hole, yours?

by **ShahenshahG** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:24 am

Working a few short hours on both days but otherwise grand. High as a gay tonight, without the being thrown from that height part.

Lie down on the couch, fold your hands over your stomach and look up at the ceiling, tell uncle Shah all your sorrows.

by Rowley Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:24 am

https://youtu.be/nCJmW1wjEuU

Morning all.

by **ShahenshahG** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:25 am

Morning Yeff, Good weekend ahead or you still settling into the new one?

by Rowley Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:29 am

TSMR is out tonight so will catch up on some all important masturbation. Think she is out tomorrow so will probably try to get ahead of schedule on some all important masturbation.

Excellent weekend all round.

by **ShahenshahG** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:30 am

Rowley wrote:TSMR is out tonight so will catch up on some all important masturbation. Think she is out tomorrow so will probably try to get ahead of schedule on some all important masturbation.

Excellent weekend all round.

I see that the candle will remain in your hearth....one way or the other!

by **rIck_dAgless** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:44 am

I have to move my mums stuff out of the house and into storage and then her in with me for a couple of days because house buyers are C**ts, may use my free "Shah voucher" on this one.

Then have to go and pick the in laws up from the airport as he was selfish enough to have heart failure in Greece and has to come home early, spoiling my day of footgolf and no man's sky.

Enjoy your "you" time Jeffers

by **ShahenshahG** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:51 am

I always wonder about people who fly back after heart failure. The last f*cking thing I want to do is fly when i'm irritated, why the f*ck would you want to be locked in a magic flying tin can with other stressed people on the verge of losing their nut when the slightest tension could bring about another heart problem? You should have told him to stay there for a week then fly back when you're at work.

by **rIck_dAgless** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:55 am

I had similar thoughts mate, but apparently he wanted to get home ASAP, mainly because the dumbass didn't have critical illness insurance and E111 (or whatever it is called now) had lapsed, so £8k hospital bill on top. So will come back for all the main ops and recuperation. There are lessons here kids.

by **ShahenshahG** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:40 am

Are you irritated because of the inconvenience or because of the near miss which would have put you one step closer to an inheritance?

by **rIck_dAgless** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:06 am

I'm irritated because it makes the missus upset which makes my life difficult, and I will make sure I am in the will now, otherwise I can foresee many loud unexpected noises in his future...

by Guest Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:17 am

Morning all, managed to blag a 10-6 shift as opposed to my scheduled 12-8 so I'm a happy camper (or less of a miserable c*nt if you prefer)

by **rIck_dAgless** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:22 am

When you say blag, do you mean threaten/bully?

by **ShahenshahG** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:27 am

rick_dagless wrote:I'm irritated because it makes the missus upset which makes my life difficult, and I will make sure I am in the will now, otherwise I can foresee many loud unexpected noises in his future...

Buy his wife a vuvuzela sex toy

by **ShahenshahG** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:30 am

Congratulations Davey boy. Now you can dig the burial pit first and avoid complications. Failing that you can easily evade your colleagues by sitting two seats down from them

by Guest Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:43 am

I'm on a 10-6 as my supervisor has allowed half the staff to be off so I'm already two seats away from everyone

by **rIck_dAgless** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:52 am

By Jove the amount of ID you need to hire a van is ridiculous...

It is easier to open a bank account.

Where on earth am I going to the signature of a virgin signed in their own blood in Bradford!

by Guest Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:15 pm

rick_dagless wrote:By Jove the amount of ID you need to hire a van is ridiculous...

It is easier to open a bank account.

Where on earth am I going to the signature of a virgin signed in their own blood in Bradford!

What the WTF, Rick! You should go to Aire Valley Hire, they don't give a f*ck. You can turn up covered in blood holding a dripping axe and suitcase with limbs bulging out and they won't bat an eyelid. "Just have it back by 5pm"

by Rowley Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:20 pm

rick_dagless wrote:I'm irritated because it makes the missus upset which makes my life difficult, and I will make sure I am in the will now, otherwise I can foresee many loud unexpected noises in his future...

I am experiencing similar Rick, TSMR's Granddad is on his last legs but clinging on. She appears to have come to the not unreasonable conclusion that alcohol is the ideal way of dealing with this. It's like living with Oliver Reed.

by **rIck_dAgless** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:26 pm

I will check them out DAVE because at this moment in time I need everything and I am awaiting a change of address on my licence as they don't sync up...

I wish my missus chose drink over the constant state or irritability that is going to make the drive to Manchester airport a F***ing pleasure, plus any suggestions are obviously thinly veiled threats or insults to her and her family and cat

by **Galted** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:45 pm

I watched The Seagull at the National Theatre last night. Was quite tolerable but I dearly wanted to go DAVE on the actors whenever they said "seagull", really f*cking annoying. One of them said "gull" at one stage and I broke out into spontaneous applause in my mind. Ignorant c*nts.

by Guest Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:57 pm

Galted wrote:I watched The Seagull at the National Theatre last night. Was quite tolerable but I dearly wanted to go DAVE on the actors whenever they said "seagull", really f*cking annoying. One of them said "gull" at one stage and I broke out into spontaneous applause in my mind. Ignorant c*nts.

Only beaten into first place by Rowley's "I had a Juniper and Thyme scent Radox bath whilst listening to Miles Davis" for utter ponce-osity

by **Galted** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 1:20 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Galted wrote:I watched The Seagull at the National Theatre last night. Was quite tolerable but I dearly wanted to go DAVE on the actors whenever they said "seagull", really f*cking annoying. One of them said "gull" at one stage and I broke out into spontaneous applause in my mind. Ignorant c*nts.
Only beaten into first place by Rowley's "I had a Juniper and Thyme scent Radox bath whilst listening to Miles Davis" for utter ponce-osity

P*ss off and smarten up your uniform.

by Guest Fri 12 Aug 2016, 1:52 pm

Galted wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Galted wrote:I watched The Seagull at the National Theatre last night. Was quite tolerable but I dearly wanted to go DAVE on the actors whenever they said "seagull", really f*cking annoying. One of them said "gull" at one stage and I broke out into spontaneous applause in my mind. Ignorant c*nts.
Only beaten into first place by Rowley's "I had a Juniper and Thyme scent Radox bath whilst listening to Miles Davis" for utter ponce-osity

P*ss off and smarten up your uniform.

That would merely involve dabbing at the bloodstains of recently slaughtered theatre going tw*ts

by Guest Fri 12 Aug 2016, 1:55 pm

rick_dagless wrote:I will check them out DAVE because at this moment in time I need everything and I am awaiting a change of address on my licence as they don't sync up...

I wish my missus chose drink over the constant state or irritability that is going to make the drive to Manchester airport a F***ing pleasure, plus any suggestions are obviously thinly veiled threats or insults to her and her family and cat

The name on my driving licence said "Harriet Mbutsi" with an address in Botswana. They don't give two sh!ts, mate!

by **rIck_dAgless** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 2:19 pm

Cheers mate, i have actually phoned them and they have come through with the goods.

I owe you one, if you are ever on deaths door, give me a shout and i will go and delete your internet history on the QT.

by Guest Fri 12 Aug 2016, 2:27 pm

No problem Rick, I'm here to help...unless you're Galted or Shah!

by Rowley Fri 12 Aug 2016, 6:26 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Galted wrote:I watched The Seagull at the National Theatre last night. Was quite tolerable but I dearly wanted to go DAVE on the actors whenever they said "seagull", really f*cking annoying. One of them said "gull" at one stage and I broke out into spontaneous applause in my mind. Ignorant c*nts.
Only beaten into first place by Rowley's "I had a Juniper and Thyme scent Radox bath whilst listening to Miles Davis" for utter ponce-osity

You've pretty much described my plans for tomorrow. Sketches of Spain I suspect.

by **ShahenshahG** Fri 12 Aug 2016, 6:37 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmtzQCSh6xk

Rowley's weekend of debauchery will end like this.

by Rowley Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:51 pm

https://youtu.be/MusyO7J2inM

This is what Sky has felt like this week.

by **ShahenshahG** Sat 13 Aug 2016, 3:28 pm

guildfordbat wrote:Heard Botham about 30 minutes ago say we had made the ''wrong'' decision in choosing to bat. He really is so incredibly lazy and oafish. If that was truly his view, he should have been shouting it at 11 o'clock on Thursday morning.

He is as thick as pig sh*t. Our current problems in this Test are not due to our choice following the fall of the coin. I, and many better than me, still believe we made the right choice in batting although I accept a case could be made for going with the ball. What no one can accept is waiting until the third afternoon to voice disagreement.

by Rowley Sat 13 Aug 2016, 3:38 pm

I love Guildford. He is almost certainly my favourite non boxing non CC poster on here.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 15 Aug 2016, 6:25 am

Morning Notches

How fared ye weekends? Was yours as miserable as predicted Rick the Sick? Was yours as spunky as predicted Rowley?

On a side and Historically CC note, Tino was Right, Hugh Jackman is an evil c*nt.

For proof,

http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/11682/production/_90789217_06fd7925-6b1a-46a3-89e0-ca02ee8b2f26.jpg

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 15 Aug 2016, 6:58 am

Aye it was indeed Shah, and I am now pretty tired, how was yours?

http://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/11682/production/_90789217_06fd7925-6b1a-46a3-89e0-ca02ee8b2f26.jpg

I bet those are sunglasses and he is indoors...

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 15 Aug 2016, 7:23 am

Was working but got in two and half books so it turned out pretty good. Bit knackered but hungry as feck, maybe a pastry and hot chocolate this morning. Did you drive roughly when you were taxiing the in laws around?

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 15 Aug 2016, 7:26 am

Alas no, I drove with relative restraint. Though they did pay for the takeaway, so all was not lost.

I could genuinely sleep all day today, may book a meeting room, lock the door and have a kip.

by Rowley Mon 15 Aug 2016, 7:34 am

https://youtu.be/hCDAfa-NI-M

Morning all.

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon 15 Aug 2016, 8:42 am

Morning all.

Spent Saturday at The Oval watching England disappear up their own backsides. Great day though. Lots of fancy dress, including one lad dressed as Donald Trump being followed round by 6 of his mates dressed as Mexicans. L*l. There was also one of Shah's lot dressed as Colonel Gadaffi which I found hilarious. We couldn't really work out why, but it made us laugh. What was funnier was that he was carrying a big golden, ornate picture frame with a painting of a horse on it. Double l*lz out loud.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 15 Aug 2016, 8:59 am

https://twitter.com/StephenWFuchs/status/762757595144790019/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Another Funny. Olympics are a gift that keeps on giving. Morning Tino, Rowley and all.

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 15 Aug 2016, 9:55 am

Morning Tino/Jeffers.

This week in the Olympics, I am an expert in why a mismanagement of cleaning chemicals, can assist in the growth of algae.

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 15 Aug 2016, 10:25 am

For you fans of films with accurate titles...

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/celebritology/post/the-drive-lawsuit-finally-a-case-that-encourages-suing-over-misleading-movie-trailers/2011/10/10/gIQAEF1YaL_blog.html

by Guest Mon 15 Aug 2016, 11:33 am

Morning all, come back after a rather fraught weekend to discover that an officer whose case I'm dealing with seems determined to send me to an early grave with her unbridled frigtwatish behavior.

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 15 Aug 2016, 12:55 pm

Afternoon mate, why so fraught?

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