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First topic message reminder :

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:We had a spider in our flat on Monday.

I saw two little ones on the ceiling last night... in different rooms.
Common house spiders. We've had a lot of rain lately so they're obviously looking for a warm dry refuge.

Have to feel a bit sorry for our spider living in the UK if warmth and dryness is what they like.

Make a little cotton wool nest for it and take it up to Tino's. Pretty sure he'll have some space in the shed for it.

In amongst the thimble collection.

Maybe I could smuggle my kid into his house, doubt he'd notice with the multitudes he has rampaging about.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:it really tested the elasticity of my sphincter.

That was also the title of Sean's 6th form year book.

Sounds more like a journal entry or the conclusion of a speech.

or a lyric from one of DAVE's favourite power ballads.

An unusual and, I have to say, inspirational opening post from me.

Don't know why I bothered getting up to watch the cricket but its done now.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:An unusual and, I have to say, inspirational opening post from me.

Don't know why I bothered getting up to watch the cricket but its done now.

What a shame.

Should've left it at the end of the first line.

Morning Tino.

I've been up all day so I didn't have a choice really.

When you get a chance let us know your replacement for Cummins. In case you've missed it - he went out to a restaurant last night and may have caught a bug of some sort by dining indoors. I have you down for Neser in the meantime but if you want someone else let me know.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:An unusual and, I have to say, inspirational opening post from me.

Don't know why I bothered getting up to watch the cricket but its done now.

What a shame.

Should've left it at the end of the first line.

F*ck you, Galted.

Pal Joey wrote:Morning Tino.

I've been up all day so I didn't have a choice really.

When you get a chance let us know your replacement for Cummins. In case you've missed it - he went out to a restaurant last night and may have caught a bug of some sort by dining indoors. I have you down for Neser in the meantime but if you want someone else let me know.

Yes, sorry just saw that. Neser is fine, champ. I'll just blame you if he gets 0-147 off 30 overs.

It is going to be 5-0 isn't it

lostinwales wrote:It is going to be 5-0 isn't it

Me and my mate Duty have been saying this for weeks.

Yes, yes it f*cking well is.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:Morning Tino.

I've been up all day so I didn't have a choice really.

When you get a chance let us know your replacement for Cummins. In case you've missed it - he went out to a restaurant last night and may have caught a bug of some sort by dining indoors. I have you down for Neser in the meantime but if you want someone else let me know.

Yes, sorry just saw that. Neser is fine, champ. I'll just blame you if he gets 0-147 off 30 overs.

Thanks mate. I'm really good at taking the blame. Don't worry, I'll be fine.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:An unusual and, I have to say, inspirational opening post from me.

Don't know why I bothered getting up to watch the cricket but its done now.

What a shame.

Should've left it at the end of the first line.

F*ck you, Galted.

Sorry, Tino.  I considered leaving it, or sending you a private message, but I had no idea if Julius had picked up on it and was setting some sort of trap.  I think it's best just to be open and honest about such things - it might be a bit of an inconvenience in the short run but it's far less painful in the long run.

lostinwales wrote:It is going to be 5-0 isn't it

I reckon Sydney and Hobart might be England's best venues to prevent the whitewash.

A combination of iffy weather here and more 'English' conditions down in Tassie which will also be a pink ball Test.

If any place here could be called "Little Durham" it would be Hobart even though its latitude would be similar to A Coruña in northern Spain - which is a fair way south of Durham I know.

Adelaide would be more like Rabat, Morocco or somewhere with a more Mediterranean climate like Monastir, Tunis (more accurately) but without any of the landmass of Europe between it and the North Pole.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:An unusual and, I have to say, inspirational opening post from me.

Don't know why I bothered getting up to watch the cricket but its done now.

What a shame.

Should've left it at the end of the first line.

F*ck you, Galted.

Sorry, Tino.  I considered leaving it, or sending you a private message, but I had no idea if Julius had picked up on it and was setting some sort of trap.  I think it's best just to be open and honest about such things - it might be a bit of an inconvenience in the short run but it's far less painful in the long run.

No worries, Galted. I am just tired and emotional at being last in the Ashes tipping competition. Which is surprising as I am the most knowledgeable person I've ever met when it comes to cricket.

Hahahahaha, Warner you stupid c*nt.

Galted wrote:Hahahahaha, Warner you stupid c*nt.

I'm not sure what is funnier, when he couldn't score a run in England or getting out in the 90's twice.

Given the fact we are destined to lose this series anyway, I think getting out in the 90's is the preference.

Either way, he is still a c*nt.

Stop the press -
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-59687427
"Millipede with more legs than any known animal discovered in Australia."

JuliusHMarx wrote:Stop the press -
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-59687427
"Millipede with more legs than any known animal discovered in Australia."

Imagine how short-changed the 998 leg one must feel being only 2 legs short of a proper millipede.

I demand a recount!

Pal Joey wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Stop the press -
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-59687427
"Millipede with more legs than any known animal discovered in Australia."

Imagine how short-changed the 998 leg one must feel being only 2 legs short of a proper millipede.

I demand a recount!

It's the David Warner of millipedes.

Galted wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Stop the press -
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-59687427
"Millipede with more legs than any known animal discovered in Australia."

Imagine how short-changed the 998 leg one must feel being only 2 legs short of a proper millipede.

I demand a recount!

It's the David Warner of millipedes.

He's got 24 hundreds but his little legs weren't used for most of them.

Lovely way to start the day off with a millipede story.

Better than watching that little toad of a man score more runs against England. Pee Jay, how does he even do it? It baffles me. He looks like he is having an epileptic fit every delivery. I am genuinely a better looking batsman than Smith. Why am I playing village cricket and not scoring centuries all around the world.

Possible tird? Who knows how these counting systems work anymore.

Talking of counting things the votes counted in North Shropshire makes me happy

So is Boris really in trouble or will he stutter his way out of a challenge for the leadership, lost?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Lovely way to start the day off with a millipede story.

Better than watching that little toad of a man score more runs against England. Pee Jay, how does he even do it? It baffles me. He looks like he is having an epileptic fit every delivery. I am genuinely a better looking batsman than Smith. Why am I playing village cricket and not scoring centuries all around the world.

It's the bizarre shape of his head which helps him focus on the ball for long periods of time.

Pal Joey wrote:So is Boris really in trouble or will he stutter his way out of a challenge for the leadership, lost?

He's really in trouble. I think they have taken for granted that the conservative election machine is all powerful while showing it the same level of care as they are the rest of the country.

Becoming a daddy (again) hasn't worked. Throwing a few token lackeys under the partygate bus hasn't worked. I don't think anybody cares about the new trade agreement with Oz (apart from those looking at the small print, who are not happy). Announcing new covid restrictions has not helped much either(the whole standing up and being seen to be doing something -thing). What is worse is that some people think he's only pushing the covid not quite a lockdown thing for political reasons and the rate of omicron infections is in reality very scary, so when the hospitals fill up in a couple of weeks time he's going to take the blame for that too.

The big issue is that his cabinet is mainly made up of sycophants and lickspittles, and so far none of them have shown the necessary presence to take over. There is no clear successor around which the party can unite. At the same time I think he's lost authority over his party. They had a big vote on covid precautions this week and 100 of his MP's voted against the government. There was always going to be a decent internal opposition but the level of it shows that more of his MP's are starting to not care about the consequences of following the government line.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Lovely way to start the day off with a millipede story.

Better than watching that little toad of a man score more runs against England. Pee Jay, how does he even do it? It baffles me. He looks like he is having an epileptic fit every delivery. I am genuinely a better looking batsman than Smith. Why am I playing village cricket and not scoring centuries all around the world.

It's the bizarre shape of his head which helps him focus on the ball for long periods of time.

His whole body is a strange shape. He looks like he is both constantly breathing in whilst wearing a support bra.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Lovely way to start the day off with a millipede story.

Better than watching that little toad of a man score more runs against England. Pee Jay, how does he even do it? It baffles me. He looks like he is having an epileptic fit every delivery. I am genuinely a better looking batsman than Smith. Why am I playing village cricket and not scoring centuries all around the world.

It's the bizarre shape of his head which helps him focus on the ball for long periods of time.

His whole body is a strange shape. He looks like he is both constantly breathing in whilst wearing a support bra.

Always thought Smith looks a little bit like Mossop from The Riddlers.  He was a c*nt as well.

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Lovely way to start the day off with a millipede story.

Better than watching that little toad of a man score more runs against England. Pee Jay, how does he even do it? It baffles me. He looks like he is having an epileptic fit every delivery. I am genuinely a better looking batsman than Smith. Why am I playing village cricket and not scoring centuries all around the world.

It's the bizarre shape of his head which helps him focus on the ball for long periods of time.

His whole body is a strange shape. He looks like he is both constantly breathing in whilst wearing a support bra.

Always thought Smith looks a little bit like Mossop from The Riddlers.  He was a c*nt as well.

l*l out loud. Just googled that. Spot on.

What a c*nt.

lostinwales wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:So is Boris really in trouble or will he stutter his way out of a challenge for the leadership, lost?

He's really in trouble. I think they have taken for granted that the conservative election machine is all powerful while showing it the same level of care as they are the rest of the country.

Becoming a daddy (again) hasn't worked. Throwing a few token lackeys under the partygate bus hasn't worked. I don't think anybody cares about the new trade agreement with Oz (apart from those looking at the small print, who are not happy). Announcing new covid restrictions has not helped much either(the whole standing up and being seen to be doing something -thing). What is worse is that some people think he's only pushing the covid not quite a lockdown thing for political reasons and the rate of omicron infections is in reality very scary, so when the hospitals fill up in a couple of weeks time he's going to take the blame for that too.

The big issue is that his cabinet is mainly made up of sycophants and lickspittles, and so far none of them have shown the necessary presence to take over. There is no clear successor around which the party can unite. At the same time I think he's lost authority over his party. They had a big vote on covid precautions this week and 100 of his MP's voted against the government. There was always going to be a decent internal opposition but the level of it shows that more of his MP's are starting to not care about the consequences of following the government line.

I noticed that he's gone the extra-unkempt route with his hair, obviously trying the 'Boris is so loveable and just trying his best' routine.  I expect he'll soon spill a pint over himself or wear his jacket back to front to further emphasise just how cuddly and adorable he is.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Lovely way to start the day off with a millipede story.

Better than watching that little toad of a man score more runs against England. Pee Jay, how does he even do it? It baffles me. He looks like he is having an epileptic fit every delivery. I am genuinely a better looking batsman than Smith. Why am I playing village cricket and not scoring centuries all around the world.

It's the bizarre shape of his head which helps him focus on the ball for long periods of time.

His whole body is a strange shape. He looks like he is both constantly breathing in whilst wearing a support bra.

Always thought Smith looks a little bit like Mossop from The Riddlers.  He was a c*nt as well.

l*l out loud. Just googled that. Spot on.

What a c*nt.

I'll second that l*l out loud.

Mossop looks disturbingly like the angry Kiwi would if he wasn't bald.

lostinwales wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:So is Boris really in trouble or will he stutter his way out of a challenge for the leadership, lost?

He's really in trouble. I think they have taken for granted that the conservative election machine is all powerful while showing it the same level of care as they are the rest of the country.

Becoming a daddy (again) hasn't worked. Throwing a few token lackeys under the partygate bus hasn't worked. I don't think anybody cares about the new trade agreement with Oz (apart from those looking at the small print, who are not happy). Announcing new covid restrictions has not helped much either(the whole standing up and being seen to be doing something -thing). What is worse is that some people think he's only pushing the covid not quite a lockdown thing for political reasons and the rate of omicron infections is in reality very scary, so when the hospitals fill up in a couple of weeks time he's going to take the blame for that too.

The big issue is that his cabinet is mainly made up of sycophants and lickspittles, and so far none of them have shown the necessary presence to take over. There is no clear successor around which the party can unite. At the same time I think he's lost authority over his party. They had a big vote on covid precautions this week and 100 of his MP's voted against the government. There was always going to be a decent internal opposition but the level of it shows that more of his MP's are starting to not care about the consequences of following the government line.

Great word... lickspittles.

Yes, so he's the master of obfuscation in charge of a complete rabble of a cabinet. A bit like here.

The difference between the UK and here, as far as I can see, is that Boris is unafraid of taking a u-turn (or changing his policy) and copping tons of flak... but still remaining unrepentant and showing his face each day as if nothing's changed. So shameless. Am I correct in thinking he took a 180 degree turn on energy and paid lip service to cop26 whilst forging ahead with more nuclear power plants? I've nothing against the latter (the clean small modular Rolls Royce ones) but he still comes across as such a slippery and deceitful character. Then signalling a possible full lockdown again. Did he ever say "we'd never go back there"? Goodness knows how he has survived scandal after scandal too.

Our PM has a very similar personality... but less 'educated'. Common as muck. A slippery smooth talker with a background in advertising. Kills the opposition with 'smart-arse' talk and embarrassing catch phrases. Where he differs, though, is in the energy stakes and covid management. We rely so heavily on mining resources and have practically zero nuclear (only for medicine production). So he went to Glasgow with fingers crossed behind his back. He had to do a deal (the details were not provided to the public) with the Nationals (= Country Party - a farming & mining coalition partner) to ensure regional agricultural and mining jobs wouldn't be wiped out overnight... if we signed up to some climate agreement at cop26.

On health and covid; he's stated many times "we won't go back into lockdowns" but it's still up to each individual state. NSW won't. Maybe ACT too but that's within NSW and only 400k population. All other states have their hands on the doors ready to slam them shut on everyone and anyone.

I originally thought the UK Conservatives were a little to the right of our LNP Coalition... with Trump's (former) Republicans further to the right... and the Tea Party further right still. But now I think the Cons and LNP here have swapped places... with Scomo now more to the right on the scale of political intensity. He's such a thick-skinned, smirking know-it-all who has perfected the art of twisting words and arguments to suit his own political survival agenda. Unfortunately, our opposition are a pack of limp-dicks too. Angry, squabbling, no clear alternative policies and not the nicest people either.

I don't trust any of the ba-stards!

The Conservatives went through a kind of reverse takeover by UKIP (i.e. right wing isolationist nutters) and they kicked out what made up what could be classed as traditional or old style Conservatives, so the current version are very much to the right of where they traditionally were.

Johnson, who has no firm convictions either way, just decided to ride the populist wave to power.

lostinwales wrote:The Conservatives went through a kind of reverse takeover by UKIP (i.e. right wing isolationist nutters) and they kicked out what made up what could be classed as traditional or old style Conservatives, so the current version are very much to the right of where they traditionally were.

Is this serious or a joke I'm not getting? The present Tories are further to the left than they 'traditionally' are, if we take tradition to be when Thatcher led the party for 15 years. This started when Cameron became leader in 2005.

The only bit they've taken from UKIP was leaving the EU.

Quick, someone post a picture of a spider before politics kills the Tea Society.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Quick, someone post a picture of a spider before politics kills the Tea Society.

I think he's lost to us while the Ashes is going on.

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Quick, someone post a picture of a spider before politics kills the Tea Society.

I think he's lost to us while the Ashes is going on.

Should be back after the 3rd test when it's all over.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Quick, someone post a picture of a spider before politics kills the Tea Society.

I think he's lost to us while the Ashes is going on.

Should be back after the 3rd test when it's all over.

He'll last the distance.  Being of The North he's used to hardship, disillusionment and hopelessness.

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Quick, someone post a picture of a spider before politics kills the Tea Society.

I think he's lost to us while the Ashes is going on.

Should be back after the 3rd test when it's all over.

He'll last the distance.  Being of The North he's used to hardship, disillusionment and hopelessness.

That is very accurate.

But Jules, your joke is also acknowledged. Very good.

It's beginning to look a lot like Fistmas.

I'll sicond that, Jules Sebastian Bach.

Spoiler:

happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday Galts you legend
happy birthday to me

Galted's
Birthday
He feels so happy and gay
Happy birthday
Happy birthday

thank you, Julius, I do feel ever so happy and gay (in a non-gay way)

It's Galted's birthday, could it be a stunt?
I'm going to say no. Is that a punt?
He seems full of cheer.
I've always found him a bit queer.
But in reality he is just a c*nt.

Many happy returns Galted!

Thanks, Tino.

Would be full of cheer if c*nt jr would sing Happy Birthday but so far he's refused. This despite the fact I was filmed singing it on his birthday.

There was an old man called Galted
Who liked his caramel salted
He lost wood inside a brass
She said stop moving your ass
And the shagging was permanently halted.

Very touching, Super. Your attention to detail is astonishing.

Happy Birthday!

You're too kind.

Flying visit to wish the Gman a happy Bday. l8rz

rIck_dAgless wrote:Flying visit to wish the Gman a happy Bday. l8rz

Hibbz is funnier.

Cheers, Rick. Deeply moved that you could take time from your busy schedule of putting criminals back onto the streets and playing with your PS5.