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Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Galted, Villa are f*king massive. Huge. Gargantuan.

Merry Christmas you big c*nt.

You won't win a Pulitzer for filth.  

Merry Christmas to you as well. You wee f*cking radge.

I celebrated the festive period by falling down a hole that Scottish Gas Networks has dug at the end of our drive and failed to cover properly.  If only I knew a decent lawyer.  

Isn't Mrs Superfly a decent lawyer?

Yes - but she can't stop laughing.

It doesn't have a Flotel. It's sh*t.

None of us were Bernard Hill. We couldn't have done that.

guildfordbat wrote:None of us were Bernard Hill. We couldn't have done that.

Excellent work job.

Tird I guess. Chaos today as the kitchen renovation has begun. Unfortunately not before the bathroom renovation has finished

Bit disappointed with the inactivity on here, especially when LiW set it all up for an excellent end to the week. I've been flying the culture flag in San Sebastian again, earning the respect of the Basque separatists by wearing new sandals which chafed my left ankle so badly it bled.

Fist. It's deader than Tino on here.

superflyweight wrote:Fist.  It's deader than Tino on here.  

Very frustrating.  As if it's not bad enough having to have a Northern Line zigzagging through London like a hideous scar we now get Northern Lights polluting our beautiful sky and there's no-one about to accept responsibility.

Galted wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Fist.  It's deader than Tino on here.  

Very frustrating.  As if it's not bad enough having to have a Northern Line zigzagging through London like a hideous scar we now get Northern Lights polluting our beautiful sky and there's no-one about to accept responsibility.

We need a Renaissance.

I'm not dead. I've been in Oslo for a few days. The one f*cking place where they see Northern lights all the time and then when I'm over there, they show up in the UK. C*nts.

I've been pondering Angela Raynor quite a bit during my quiet moments. Sometimes I think I'd happily slip her a length and then other times she looks like a ginger Peter Crouch.

Anyone else thought about this?

She looks like a ginger Peter Crouch on her good days, but otherwise more like Red Rum. Is that when you feel like you'd happily sh@g her?

Red Rum is dead.

I'm not a monster, Jules.

I tried to shag Red Rum backwards. It was murder.

That is good work.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I'm not dead. I've been in Oslo for a few days. The one f*cking place where they see Northern lights all the time and then when I'm over there, they show up in the UK. C*nts.

I've been pondering Angela Raynor quite a bit during my quiet moments. Sometimes I think I'd happily slip her a length and then other times she looks like a ginger Peter Crouch.

Anyone else thought about this?

Me.

I'd definitely slot my X into her ballot box.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I'm not dead. I've been in Oslo for a few days. The one f*cking place where they see Northern lights all the time and then when I'm over there, they show up in the UK. C*nts.

I've been pondering Angela Raynor quite a bit during my quiet moments. Sometimes I think I'd happily slip her a length and then other times she looks like a ginger Peter Crouch.

Anyone else thought about this?

Me.

I'd definitely slot my X into her ballot box.

Don't forget your photo ID.

Thanks for the Rayner feedback. I've given it some additional thought based on that and I can conclusively say that she would get it. That is a FACT.

No worries, I'm an expert on politics.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-69017797

What the Dickens?

JuliusHMarx wrote:https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-69017797

What the Dickens?

He's in for some hard times.

Never had great expectations that he would escape his past.

You pack of absolute c*nts.

(That is one of his lesser known books)

Well that's pretty fagin crass of you.

I would've thought you'd respond to my clever post. Perhaps you just didn't cratchit.

Tiny Tim fist.

Hope nobody had any blood transfusions in the 80s... even if some of you weren't around. What the Dickens was going on? It beggars belief. Now more oats please, Sir.

Just glad I avoided mad cow disease when I was there in the UK and it was around. That seemed to spread like wildfire. Chances were high that I'd catch it given my penchant for good meat. As Bazza McKenzie used to say: "lob its horns off, wipe its arse... then bang it on a plate."

Must say I didn't come across a steak that particularly appealed to me (but I don't think I looked too hard or maybe I wasn't in the right places) and the chops looked a touch on the small side for my liking. And quite expensive for the measly portions offered from memory. And now I live to tell the tale...

By the way, I wasn't Frank Ifield.

Pal Joey wrote:By the way, I wasn't Frank Ifield.

Barely knew he existed and now he's dead, one of my son's favourite songs is She Taught Me How To Yodel.

S**t on here.

rIck_dAgless wrote:S**t on here.

Brutal.

Not going very swimmingly at all.

Crawling along.

Just peatying out.

Galted wrote:Just peatying out.

It's my peaty and I'll cry if I want to would have been better.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Just peatying out.

It's my peaty and I'll cry if I want to would have been better.

True. It's a peaty he didn't use that one.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Just peatying out.

It's my peaty and I'll cry if I want to would have been better.

That's what I thorpe but I stuck with my original response.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Just peatying out.

It's my peaty and I'll cry if I want to would have been better.

That's what I thorpe but I stuck with my original response.

Fair. I was going to call you a c*nt but phelps that would be a bit harsh.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Just peatying out.

It's my peaty and I'll cry if I want to would have been better.

That's what I thorpe but I stuck with my original response.

Fair. I was going to call you a c*nt but phelps that would be a bit harsh.

Glad you didn't because I would've been very le clos with you.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Just peatying out.

It's my peaty and I'll cry if I want to would have been better.

That's what I thorpe but I stuck with my original response.

Fair. I was going to call you a c*nt but phelps that would be a bit harsh.

Glad you didn't because I would've been very le clos with you.

If Le Clos got lynched, he'd be a hanging Chad.

I have no idea what you're going on about, Jules.

But that is a daley occurrence.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I have no idea what you're going on about, Jules.

But that is a daley occurrence.

I guess a deep dive is beyond you.

Here we go again. Jules spitz invective at me.

I'm a bit board of this.

Galted wrote:I'm a bit board of this.

What? Can't hackett, Galts? Well here's something more interesting to help you get back on track.

I see Sloman's bound for Paris. Not sure if he's catching a flight there or has already set out on the long, slow swim to France.
He reckons "...about 8 weeks... " but I think that's being overly optimistic, to be honest.

https://sls.com.au/paris-bound-olympic-swimmer-nick-sloman-wins-australian-surf-life-saving-ocean-swim-crown/


Actually, there's loots of good swimmers in Oz, mandy of them.
We can't get enough of Titmus especially. You could imagine the slobbering brawl that occurred when the job ad for a personal physiotherapist was published online.
The servers nearly crashed and utter chaos ensued... with far too many people unable to stay in their lanes as a result.

8 weeks? That's pretty slo man.

JuliusHMarx wrote:8 weeks? That's pretty slo man.

Yeah, van den Hoogenband will be playing forever, it seems.

Stag do this weekend, I f**king hate forced fun. LADS LADS LADS!!!

Get me to the Bingo and an early night.

Fist

rIck_dAgless wrote:Stag do this weekend, I f**king hate forced fun.  LADS LADS LADS!!!

Get me to the Bingo and an early night.

Fist

Sorry to hear that, Rick.  You must be sure to wear matching t-shirts with an hysterical slogan and silly wigs to get maximum lolz!!!

I'm not David Wilkie

Couldn't pay me enough money to go on a stag-do these days. Last one I went to was more than 15 years ago. We got made to Go Ape in Aberfoyle and I had a life threatening hangover from the first night meet-up. Lasted 10 minutes on the course and then walked off and sat beside the mini-bus for the best part of two hours waiting for everyone to come back.

superflyweight wrote:I'm not David Wilkie  

Couldn't pay me enough money to go on a stag-do these days.  Last one I went to was more than 15 years ago.  We got made to Go Ape in Aberfoyle and I had a life threatening hangover from the first night meet-up.  Lasted 10 minutes on the course and then walked off and sat beside the mini-bus for the best part of two hours waiting for everyone to come back.  

Good one, Super.

At my own stag-do, some decades ago, it started off well with some hyperactive go-karting in some large industrial shed in the morning. That was the highlight for me.

We then started the pub crawl early afternoon. The ex-brother-in-law was a bit of a pain... ordering triples and trying to get me smashed early on. We then took our seats at some mafia-run Russian restaurant and things started to get even more rowdy as I continued to mix my drinks. We gave the waiters a bit of a scare but that was just our way of saying thanks. I remember stumbling up the stairs and out of there feeling legless and getting into a cab late in the evening heading back into town.

The brother-in-law, by this time, who was still on my case and getting even more annoying was starting to wear my patience thin. So we hatched a plan to go to the local hotel near where he lived. Some of my family members/trusted friends then did what had to be done - put a few triple depth charges into his last beer... then stood back, gave him some space and waited for a short time.

The 2nd part of the plan was to try and entice him out onto the street where he'd be able to see 'the way home'. It worked. When we suggested going back to some club (on the other side... and across the bridge again) he mumbled something like "I might call it a night now" and simultaneously turned and trudged home down the road. The whole ordeal had lasted about 16 hours and I have no idea how I got home.

Pal Joey wrote:

Galted wrote:I'm a bit board of this.

What? Can't hackett, Galts? Well here's something more interesting to help you get back on track.

I see Sloman's bound for Paris. Not sure if he's catching a flight there or has already set out on the long, slow swim to France.
He reckons "...about 8 weeks... " but I think that's being overly optimistic, to be honest.

https://sls.com.au/paris-bound-olympic-swimmer-nick-sloman-wins-australian-surf-life-saving-ocean-swim-crown/


Actually, there's loots of good swimmers in Oz, mandy of them.
We can't get enough of Titmus especially. You could imagine the slobbering brawl that occurred when the job ad for a personal physiotherapist was published online.
The servers nearly crashed and utter chaos ensued... with far too many people unable to stay in their lanes as a result.

Somebody keen on the breast stroke?

Well in a somewhat surprising turn of events I had a good time.

Despite a couple of amalgamations of the grooms various friend groups, from current, youth and work, there were 0 bell ends in the party, everyone paid their way, no one was a massive f**king try hard getting their drinking C**cks out and apparently I can still hit a golf ball reasonably well.

I am a surprised as I am sure you are gents, but hey ho. I am now more concerned with another stag do which, horrifically, is in Blackpool in 2 weeks.

Fist.