Friday Fun - Boxing Limericks

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There is more than a lisp to Chris Eubank
Said Benn, climbing out of a poo tank
As when not in a ring
He jutht loveth to thing

What about Amir Khan?
His life story is quite a yarn
With a jab that is joltin'

What about Amir Khan?
His life story is quite a yarn
Can't drive for toffee

What about Amir Khan?
His life story is quite a yarn
With a jab that is joltin'
and denying Jordan is revoltin

What about Amir Khan?
His life story is quite a yarn
With a jab that is joltin'
and denying Jordan is revoltin
His Pay Per Views aren't worth a darn.

What about Amir Khan?
His life story is quite a yarn
Can't drive for toffee
He's the colour of coffee

Tyson loved his Pigeon soup

Tyson loved his Pigeon soup
He kept them in a coop

Tyson loved his Pigeon soup
He kept them in a coop
Some didn't make it home

Tyson loved his Pigeon soup
He kept them in a coop
Some didn't make it home
They turned left instead of right and ended up in Rome

Tyson loved his Pigeon soup
He kept them in a coop
Some didn't make it home
They turned left instead of right and ended up in Rome
Leaving poor old Mike to clean their poop

The rhythm of these can sometimes be something of a challenge to follow

The rhythm of these can sometimes be something of a challenge to follow
Ring the bell, Apollo

The rhythm of these can sometimes be something of a challenge to follow
Ring the bell, Apollo
Considerably easier to read, now we're heading in the right direction

The rhythm of these can sometimes be something of a challenge to follow
Ring the bell, Apollo
Considerably easier to read, now we're heading in the right direction
Do you remember the time Eubank wore those yellow shorts and on his ring walk appeared to have an erection?

The rhythm of these can sometimes be something of a challenge to follow
Ring the bell, Apollo
Considerably easier to read, now we're heading in the right direction
Do you remember the time Eubank wore those yellow shorts and on his ring walk appeared to have an erection?
Hard to swallow

Buster Douglas guzzling pies

Buster Douglas guzzling pies
Half a pound of treacle

Buster Douglas guzzling pies
Beat prime Tyson, even closed were his eyes

Buster Douglas guzzling pies
Beat prime Tyson, even closed were his eyes
Half a pound of treacle

Buster Douglas guzzling pies
Beat prime Tyson, even closed were his eyes
Half a pound of treacle
Smothering something vaguely fetal

Buster Douglas guzzling pies
Beat prime Tyson, even closed were his eyes
Half a pound of treacle
Smothering something vaguely fetal
I'd have said fecal, not fetal. Surprise!

With Big George Foreman there's a little known fact

With Big George Foreman there's a little known fact
That punching power he very much lacked

With Big George Foreman there's a little known fact
That punching power he very much lacked
His gloves were lined with iron and lead

With Big George Foreman there's a little known fact
That punching power he very much lacked
His gloves were lined with iron and lead
As, I believe, was his head

With Big George Foreman there's a little known fact
That punching power he very much lacked
His gloves were lined with iron and lead
As, I believe, was his head
So Those are the secrets I did extract.

I'm afraid it's bad news, said the trainer

I'm afraid it's bad news, said the trainer
As he cleaned blood from a salad strainer

I'm afraid it's bad news, said the trainer
As he cleaned blood from a salad strainer
Your opponent, you see

I'm afraid it's bad news, said the trainer
As he cleaned blood from a salad strainer
Your opponent, you see
Is Tyson Fury, the gipsy.

I'm afraid it's bad news, said the trainer
As he cleaned blood from a salad strainer
Your opponent, you see
Is Tyson Fury, the gipsy.
And you thought it was Gloria Gaynor

Supermiddle legend Robert Stieglitz

Supermiddle legend Robert Stieglitz
Was, according to boxrec, born Sergey Shtikhlits

Supermiddle legend Robert Stieglitz
Was, according to boxrec, born Sergey Shtikhlits
That's hard to pronounce

Supermiddle legend Robert Stieglitz
Was, according to boxrec, born Sergey Shtikhlits
That's hard to pronounce
Tell him that, off he'll flounce

Supermiddle legend Robert Stieglitz
Was, according to boxrec, born Sergey Shtikhlits
That's hard to pronounce
Tell him that, off he'll flounce
To enquire whether Wladimir likes ' she ' bits.

George Groves once had a dream

George Groves once had a dream
Woke his neighbours, with so piercing a scream

George Groves once had a dream
Woke his neighbours, with so piercing a scream
He wanted DeGold

George Groves once had a dream
Woke his neighbours, with so piercing a scream
He wanted DeGold
Instead got told:

George Groves once had a dream
Woke his neighbours, with so piercing a scream
He wanted DeGold
Instead got told:
You must now fight Rahman, Hasim

The featherweight great, Abe Attell

The featherweight great, Abe Attell
Had a peculiar fetish for cattle

The featherweight great, Abe Attell
Had a peculiar fetish for cattle
Especially heifers

The featherweight great, Abe Attell
Had a peculiar fetish for cattle
Especially heifers
Stay down-wind of the zephyrs

The featherweight great, Abe Attell
Had a peculiar fetish for cattle
Especially heifers
Stay down-wind of the zephyrs
Exactly, that's half the battle

Steve Bunce's new line of women's luxury shoes

Steve Bunce's new line of women's luxury shoes
Have two left and no right, leaving everyone confused

Steve Bunce's new line of women's luxury shoes
Have two left and no right, leaving everyone confused
I''ve heard that Jordan is keen

Steve Bunce's new line of women's luxury shoes
Have two left and no right, leaving everyone confused
I''ve heard that Jordan is keen
To reform his F1 team