The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

First topic message reminder :

superflyweight wrote:It's in Edinburgh and it's called the "Pubic Triangle".  Is about 5 minutes from my work and there's always a distressing smell of lube hanging over the area.  

That's the one, thanks super.

Is lube really a distressing smell?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:He's been hiding in Peru
He works in B&Q
It's Tina, It's Tina.

When you say your PA booked the wrong tickets, do you mean your PA or the office PA?

You don't have your own PA do you?

Don't you...??

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:He's been hiding in Peru
He works in B&Q
It's Tina, It's Tina.

When you say your PA booked the wrong tickets, do you mean your PA or the office PA?

You don't have your own PA do you?

She works for me and two other people.  She's about 67 and is quite, quite mad.  And deaf!

I just assumed that when you said you were a lawyer, you actually meant you worked the door on a Ladbrokes in the 'pubic triangle'.

And no, TopHat, why would I need one? I barely leave my desk for the entire working day. I think I can manage to get from my desk to the sh*tter without someone putting it in my diary for me.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:He's been hiding in Peru
He works in B&Q
It's Tina, It's Tina.

When you say your PA booked the wrong tickets, do you mean your PA or the office PA?

You don't have your own PA do you?

She works for me and two other people.  She's about 67 and is quite, quite mad.  And deaf!

I just assumed that when you said you were a lawyer, you actually meant you worked the door on a Ladbrokes in the 'pubic triangle'.

And no, TopHat, why would I need one?  I barely leave my desk for the entire working day.  I think I can manage to get from my desk to the sh*tter without someone putting it in my diary for me.

I got caught at the weekend and had to dump on the pavement. Not pretty

Tino's back!
Tino's front!
Tino's side!
All of him in fact!

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:He's been hiding in Peru
He works in B&Q
It's Tina, It's Tina.

When you say your PA booked the wrong tickets, do you mean your PA or the office PA?

You don't have your own PA do you?

She works for me and two other people.  She's about 67 and is quite, quite mad.  And deaf!

I just assumed that when you said you were a lawyer, you actually meant you worked the door on a Ladbrokes in the 'pubic triangle'.

And no, TopHat, why would I need one?  I barely leave my desk for the entire working day.  I think I can manage to get from my desk to the sh*tter without someone putting it in my diary for me.

I got caught at the weekend and had to dump on the pavement. Not pretty

I doubt a PA could have helped with that, sean.

superflyweight wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:He's been hiding in Peru
He works in B&Q
It's Tina, It's Tina.

When you say your PA booked the wrong tickets, do you mean your PA or the office PA?

You don't have your own PA do you?

She works for me and two other people.  She's about 67 and is quite, quite mad.  And deaf!

I just assumed that when you said you were a lawyer, you actually meant you worked the door on a Ladbrokes in the 'pubic triangle'.

And no, TopHat, why would I need one?  I barely leave my desk for the entire working day.  I think I can manage to get from my desk to the sh*tter without someone putting it in my diary for me.

I got caught at the weekend and had to dump on the pavement. Not pretty

I doubt a PA could have helped with that, sean.  

PA had to dig it out with his winkle as the black guy the night before caused it to be wadded in seans intestines

Uncouth.

So Tina, is it true the new arrival is named Glayted after Galted?

seanmichaels wrote:Uncouth.

So Tina, is it true the new arrival is named Glayted after Galted?

Nope. She is named after my friends so please join me in welcoming;

Sean Julius Galted Jeff Superfly Shah Rick Dave TopHat Adam Linebreaker Windows.

Ugly looking thing.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Uncouth.

So Tina, is it true the new arrival is named Glayted after Galted?

Nope.  She is named after my friends so please join me in welcoming;

Sean Julius Galted Jeff Superfly Shah Rick Dave TopHat Adam Linebreaker Windows.

Ugly looking thing.

So this one is fathered by you then, i was wondering if you'd be 5th time lucky

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Uncouth.

So Tina, is it true the new arrival is named Glayted after Galted?

Nope.  She is named after my friends so please join me in welcoming;

Sean Julius Galted Jeff Superfly Shah Rick Dave TopHat Adam Linebreaker Windows.

Ugly looking thing.

Not a big fan of new borns. Heads are too big.

Could say the same about Tino tho.....

TopHat24/7 wrote:Could say the same about Tino tho.....

You must have caused a bit of damage?

Sister in law was nearly split in 2. 10lb + girl.

seanmichaels wrote:

Not a big fan of new borns. Heads are too big.

I will pass on your comments to her.

seanmichaels wrote:

TopHat24/7 wrote:Could say the same about Tino tho.....

You must have caused a bit of damage?

Sister in law was nearly split in 2. 10lb + girl.

Lol I was 8lb 8oz and delivered by C-section (mum too posh to push), so mum came through relatively unscathed....

TopHat24/7 wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

TopHat24/7 wrote:Could say the same about Tino tho.....

You must have caused a bit of damage?

Sister in law was nearly split in 2. 10lb + girl.

Lol I was 80lb 8oz and delivered in sections

Corrected it mate.

I managed to Successfully crawl from the Test Tube unscathed so was allowed the chance to live

I came out half purple

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Not a big fan of new borns. Heads are too big.

I will pass on your comments to her.

I mean holding them mainly. Scared of letting their heads go the wrong way etc

Quite staggering how often you get headbutted in the mouth during the first 3 months of your chilld's life.

superflyweight wrote:Quite staggering how often you get headbutted in the mouth during the first 3 months of your chilld's life.  

It doesn't end there, superfly.

The butting just gets worse.

Tinos so happy he is abusing himself and saving me the effort. Congrats mate

ShahenshahG wrote: Tinos so happy he is abusing himself and saving me the effort. Congrats mate

The benefit of having another daughter, Shah. I am now the 6th hardest person in the house for at least 18 months.

Trouble is, me and the boys are now outnumbered as there is only 3 of us, and one of them doesn't even like me.

Its alright tino 606v2 have got your back and we don't like you either. Strictly Bidness.

We could arm everyone with a Radio and a thermos of Coffee each and play the waiting game...

Congrats, Tino. The missus will probably try to take some of the credit, that's just the kind of devious thing women do.

rick_dagless wrote:We could arm everyone with a Radio and a thermos of Coffee each and play the waiting game...

Rick, this Really isn't A Major issue, but Why do you Scatter your sentences with Random Capital letters?

I Have noticed it Happening a lot Recently.

No IDea to be fair Tino, my grammar has gone t'pot since you have been away.

That and a silly amount of work meaning my proof ReadIng is not up to scratche

Galted wrote:Congrats, Tino.  The missus will probably try to take some of the credit, that's just the kind of devious thing women do.

Thanks G-Unit.

You're a clever bloke, is it really possible for two white folk to have a black baby? Mrs Windows tells me it is really common but I am not so sure myself.

Genetically it is indeed possible, but incredibly unlikely, and highly dependant on genetic ancestry.

Would require both white parents to have recessive black alleles which, in a freak occurrence, combine to produce a black baby.

As Rick says, depends on heritage (those alleles have gotta come from somewhere) and then a lot of luck.......but it can happen!

rick_dagless wrote:Genetically it is indeed possible, but incredibly unlikely, and highly dependant on genetic ancestry.

So what are you trying to tell me, dagless? Talk to me in real terms. I once wore a t-shirt with a marijuana leaf print on it and do know quite a lot of words to Buffalo Soldier. Could that be enough?

Tino wrote:So what are you trying to tell me, dagless? Talk to me in real terms. I once wore a t-shirt with a marijuana leaf print on it and do know quite a lot of words to Buffalo Soldier. Could that be enough?

Do you like fried Chicken and/or Chicken Nuggets?

Do you just 'like' Cricket? Or do you 'love' it?

rick_dagless wrote:

Tino wrote:So what are you trying to tell me, dagless? Talk to me in real terms. I once wore a t-shirt with a marijuana leaf print on it and do know quite a lot of words to Buffalo Soldier. Could that be enough?

Do you like fried Chicken and/or Chicken Nuggets?

I do like fried chicken but don't really like nuggets. Someone told me ages ago that they have eyelids, nerves and anal canal tissue in them. No idea if he was lying or not but it stuck with me.

Tino wrote:I do like fried chicken but don't really like nuggets. Someone told me ages ago that they have eyelids, nerves and anal canal tissue in them. No idea if he was lying or not but it stuck with me.

Probably for the best, and happily confirms a high chance of a perfect genetic match with the sproglet (congrats by the way)

Go science!

Might be another outlet for the 'brogues test'......

Has to be the 25m test

Whats the 25m test

 

Sh!t on here today.

ShahenshahG wrote:Whats the 25m test

Eric the eel.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh!t on here today.

Je me demande si Galted fait à travers l'océan en toute sécurité?

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh!t on here today.

Je me demande si Galted fait à travers l'océan en toute sécurité?

Il a probablement été dégouté par un agent de passeport pour avoir de la merde chaussures

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sh!t on here today.

Je me demande si Galted fait à travers l'océan en toute sécurité?

Il a probablement été dégouté par un agent de passeport pour avoir de la merde chaussures

je ne suis pas mort

JuliusHMarx wrote:je ne suis pas mort

Pas encore........

JuliusHMarx wrote:je ne suis pas mort

Not yet Jules but father time is creeping up on you. I will miss you when you're dead.

It's true Tino. Every day I wake up and think "I'm a day closer to death". Then I wait for Galted to write an emo poem to cheer me up.

JuliusHMarx wrote:It's true Tino. Every day I wake up and think "I'm a day closer to death". Then I wait for Galted to write an emo poem to cheer me up.

I doubt you'll get one today. He is too busy pretending to be cultured in The Louvre whilst all the time he is wondering if he can buy some new Hi-Tecs in Paris.

How's this;

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
You may well be ancient, Julius
But I am still fond of you.

Je vous aime tous brebis.