The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

by Mind the windows Tino. Mon Mar 10, 2014 12:50 pm

First topic message reminder :

superflyweight wrote:It's in Edinburgh and it's called the "Pubic Triangle". Is about 5 minutes from my work and there's always a distressing smell of lube hanging over the area.

That's the one, thanks super.

Is lube really a distressing smell?

by **seanmichaels** Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:20 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Oh sh*t.

Spoiler:

I had Ebola on Saturday morning. My arse was like a leaking tap.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:28 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Oh sh*t.

Spoiler:

I had Ebola on Saturday morning. My arse was like a leaking tap.

is it true that once you go black you can never go back?

by **seanmichaels** Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:39 pm

A hampton would have dissolved up there on Saturday. It was like in Aliens when they 'bleed'.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:44 pm

I went out with loads of dark skinned girls as a younger man.

They were all actually white but I'm from the North West. Girls up there have loyalty cards at TanTastic.

by Rowley Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:56 pm

Suspect loads over sells it somewhat.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:58 pm

Rowley wrote:Suspect loads over sells it somewhat.

It was at least 4.

Which is probably 3 more than you have had.

by **Galted** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:13 pm

One of my mates from school went out with a girl who looked like Ernest Borgnine.

by **JuliusHMarx** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:14 pm

One of my mates at school went out with Ernest Borgnine.

by **seanmichaels** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:14 pm

I've never really ventured. When I went to Amsterdam apparently mates tried to push me in with one of those Big Mamas but she refused on account of the sick down my clothes.

by **seanmichaels** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:15 pm

Galted wrote:One of my mates from school went out with a girl who looked like Ernest Borgnine.

Ha, he's in all the old war films isn't he?

I once snogged a bird at uni who looked like Peter Beardsley.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:17 pm

I once snogged Peter Beardsley.

by **seanmichaels** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:19 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I once snogged Peter Beardsley.

More delusion.....

by **Galted** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:22 pm

The angry kiwi is wearing a dark green shirt today and I now picture him whenever Tino posts which is unnecessary as he's sitting next to me.

by **seanmichaels** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:23 pm

Galted wrote:The angry kiwi is wearing a dark green shirt today and I now picture him whenever Tino posts which is unnecessary as he's sitting next to me.

Ask him if he had fush and chups for lunch

by **Galted** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:25 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:The angry kiwi is wearing a dark green shirt today and I now picture him whenever Tino posts which is unnecessary as he's sitting next to me.

Ask him if he had fush and chups for lunch

It's tempting but he'd probably know I was taking the p1ss as he has yoghurt for lunch except on Fridays when he has a jacket potato.

by **Galted** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:27 pm

I'm quite tempted to ask if he watched the cricket last night but he'd probably go spare for a bit.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:27 pm

seanmichaels wrote:I've never really ventured. When I went to Amsterdam apparently mates tried to push me in with one of those Big Mamas but she refused on account of the sick down my clothes.

I went to Groningen once. The prostitutes there are grim. I think the youngest one I saw (in a window, not 'saw' as in shagged) was easily as old as Julius.

by **seanmichaels** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:29 pm

Galted wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:The angry kiwi is wearing a dark green shirt today and I now picture him whenever Tino posts which is unnecessary as he's sitting next to me.

Ask him if he had fush and chups for lunch

It's tempting but he'd probably know I was taking the p1ss as he has yoghurt for lunch except on Fridays when he has a jacket potato.

Is he one of these beardy weirdy vegan types?

by **seanmichaels** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:33 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:I've never really ventured. When I went to Amsterdam apparently mates tried to push me in with one of those Big Mamas but she refused on account of the sick down my clothes.

I went to Groningen once. The prostitutes there are grim. I think the youngest one I saw (in a window, not 'saw' as in shagged) was easily as old as Julius.

I went on a work's do. My colleagues were loving it. 50 euros here, 50 euros there. After the first night where I had the Grasshopper and sick incident, I was half tempted but it didn't seem value at 50 euros. I could get bladdered on that and spend the whole night with someone (albeit probably not top notch) back at home.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:35 pm

Galted wrote:The angry kiwi is wearing a dark green shirt today and I now picture him whenever Tino posts which is unnecessary as he's sitting next to me.

Not wearing green today. Have a got a light blue shirt with a dark blue jumper. Lovely combination.

I am going out to dinner tonight so should have worn a suit but I deliberately didn't as I am maverick and play by my own rules.

Live fast, die young.

by Rowley Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:39 pm

Has anyone ever told you Tina that you are allowed to wear a jumper and a shirt that are not the same colour. Obviously I can understand your desire not to distract attention from your comedy tie but you can try it.

by **seanmichaels** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:41 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Galted wrote:The angry kiwi is wearing a dark green shirt today and I now picture him whenever Tino posts which is unnecessary as he's sitting next to me.

Not wearing green today. Have a got a light blue shirt with a dark blue jumper. Lovely combination and am very pleased to be working for Kwikfit.

I am going out to dinner tonight so should have worn a boilersuit but I deliberately didn't as I am maverick and play by my own rules.

Live fast, die young.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:41 pm

Rowley wrote:Has anyone ever told you Tina that you are allowed to wear a jumper and a shirt that are not the same colour. Obviously I can understand your desire not to distract attention from your comedy tie but you can try it.

Yes, and I quite often do. The two shades of blue I am sporting are so contrasting they may as well be different colours.

I am not wearing a tie. As I said, I am a maverick. You wouldn't understand.

by Rowley Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:43 pm

You actually said I am maverick, but such pedantry is obviously beneath me.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:45 pm

seanmichaels wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:I've never really ventured. When I went to Amsterdam apparently mates tried to push me in with one of those Big Mamas but she refused on account of the sick down my clothes.

I went to Groningen once. The prostitutes there are grim. I think the youngest one I saw (in a window, not 'saw' as in shagged) was easily as old as Julius.

I went on a work's do. My colleagues were loving it. 50 euros here, 50 euros there. After the first night where I had the Grasshopper and sick incident, I was half tempted but it didn't seem value at 50 euros. I could get bladdered on that and spend the whole night with someone (albeit probably not top notch) back at home.

When we were in Amsterdam, a mate so got so drunk he wandered off on his own trying to bed some delicious young cherry he had spotted. He was absolutely w*nkered and we lost him for a long time.

He eventually rang us up almost in tears having failed to navigate his way back to the town centre. When we asked him for a landmark so we could find him, he replied by telling us he was standing next to a canal.....

by **JuliusHMarx** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:46 pm

Do people still wear jumpers? Brendan Rodgers wears one at Liverpool matches, and I assumed other throwbacks would see it and realise it's time to give up on them.

by **seanmichaels** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:48 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:Do people still wear jumpers? Brendan Rodgers wears one at Liverpool matches, and I assumed other throwbacks would see it and realise it's time to give up on them.

I do as it is a great way to avoid ironing a shirt. Too hot in the office now though.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:49 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:Do people still wear jumpers? Brendan Rodgers wears one at Liverpool matches, and I assumed other throwbacks would see it and realise it's time to give up on them.

Liverpool are top of the league. He obviously inspires his people, much like I do.

by **JuliusHMarx** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:52 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:Do people still wear jumpers? Brendan Rodgers wears one at Liverpool matches, and I assumed other throwbacks would see it and realise it's time to give up on them.

Liverpool are top of the league. He obviously inspires his people, much like I do.

I have never been more grateful not to be one of your people.

by Rowley Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:54 pm

Rodgers wears a jumper under a suit. This is absolutely terrible. As far as looks go it is second only to a suit jacket and jeans which is absolutely the worst. People think they are giving off a whole, yeah I have to work and am grown up but am still young and street vibe but in reality they just look like Jeremy Clarkson. There is not a circle of hell hot enough for these people.

by **JuliusHMarx** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:56 pm

Wenger wears cardigan under his suit. No doubt Tino worships at the altar of his sartorial elegance.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:57 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:Do people still wear jumpers? Brendan Rodgers wears one at Liverpool matches, and I assumed other throwbacks would see it and realise it's time to give up on them.

Liverpool are top of the league. He obviously inspires his people, much like I do.

I have never been more grateful not to be one of your people.

Oh but you are, Julius. And you know it.

by **seanmichaels** Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:58 pm

Red trousers. C*nts.

Jeans low enough to reveal arris cheek. C*nts

by Rowley Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:58 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:Wenger wears cardigan under his suit. No doubt Tino worships at the altar of his sartorial elegance.

He also wears that huge puffa coat that does not seem to fit him and just makes him look creepy. Takes a special kind of guy who can wear a cardigan under a suit and it not be his worst fashion faux pas.

by Mind the windows Tino. Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:59 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:Wenger wears cardigan under his suit. No doubt Tino worships at the altar of his sartorial elegance.

I don't wear cardigans. And I only wear suits at weddings or funerals.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue Apr 01, 2014 4:02 pm

Tino only wears riot gear.

by kingraf Tue Apr 01, 2014 4:10 pm

Rowley wrote:Rodgers wears a jumper under a suit. This is absolutely terrible. As far as looks go it is second only to a suit jacket and jeans which is absolutely the worst. People think they are giving off a whole, yeah I have to work and am grown up but am still young and street vibe but in reality they just look like Jeremy Clarkson. There is not a circle of hell hot enough for these people.

I swear you've typed this word for word before. You keep this on the clipboard in case cardigans ever get discusses?

by **JuliusHMarx** Tue Apr 01, 2014 4:15 pm

Rowley, is this true? Are you so proud of your contribution to the slating of jumpers that you sadly felt compelled to post the same thing again?

BTW, Beck, Jeff, or Jeff Beck?

by Rowley Tue Apr 01, 2014 4:31 pm

Have never typed that before Jules, may have expressed my hatred for the jeans and jacket combo previously as I do hate it with a passion.

by **JuliusHMarx** Tue Apr 01, 2014 4:39 pm

I believe you Jeff. Excuse me, while I get changed....

by kingraf Tue Apr 01, 2014 4:41 pm

Yeah I remember now, twas the jean and jacket... Apologies

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed Apr 02, 2014 6:51 am

Looks like it is going to be the all exciting day of the the thread splitting...

by **Galted** Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:06 am

The tension in my office is palpable, it's like when they announce which country's getting the Olympics.

by **Galted** Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:09 am

seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
Galted wrote:The angry kiwi is wearing a dark green shirt today and I now picture him whenever Tino posts which is unnecessary as he's sitting next to me.

Ask him if he had fush and chups for lunch

It's tempting but he'd probably know I was taking the p1ss as he has yoghurt for lunch except on Fridays when he has a jacket potato.

Is he one of these beardy weirdy vegan types?

No, he's one of those furious types with a massive crimson head. I think he spends all his money on rent and alcohol so scrimps a bit with food. No facial hair to be seen, not much on top either.

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:12 am

Galted wrote:The tension in my office is palpable, it's like when they announce which country's getting the Olympics.

Bet the receptionist is nervous...

by **Galted** Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:19 am

rick_dagless wrote:
Galted wrote:The tension in my office is palpable, it's like when they announce which country's getting the Olympics.

Bet the receptionist is nervous...

Haven't seen her for a while. They've got all the hotties on the desks today, must be expecting an important client.

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:33 am

Galted wrote:Haven't seen her for a while. They've got all the hotties on the desks today, must be expecting an important client.

Could be cheerleaders brought in for thread split day...

by kingraf Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:36 am

A mate of mine just told me he's 5'7 with his shoes on... Do all short people measure their height with their shoes on? If so, do fatties measure their weight with one leg off the scale?

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:38 am

Not sure, ask toppy when he appears.

Though it could be the same as kids saying that they are 5 and 3/4.

by **Galted** Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:43 am

kingraf wrote:A mate of mine just told me he's 5'7 with his shoes on... Do all short people measure their height with their shoes on? If so, do fatties measure their weight with one leg off the scale?

The angry Kiwi's quite short. Depending on his mood, I'll ask him his height when he gets in to see if he mentions his shoes but he'll probably just tell me to f*ck off.

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