The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

First topic message reminder :

May be an age thing, but is Sean seriously saying he talks to people with his testicles out to see how long they take to notice? And that doing so is a laugh?

Never thought I would say this, but bring back National Service if so.

DAVE667 wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

Union Cane wrote:2 satsumas and an apple.

I am starving.

Somewhat callous attitude given TRUSS recently posted an article about 4 million children living in absolute poverty.

It's like you want them to die angry at you...like a lot of people will!

Dave, we have a mixed race chap who works here called Pete.  Do you know him?

Is Pete the guy with a face and arms? if so, the chances are I know him. Mind you, if he's genuinely mixed race and not bogus, he'll be in the book.

You've gotta love Truss. Only he could have come up with that argument and kept a straight face.

Morning troops.

Bit slow on here today.

Anyone up to owt at 'weekend?

Union Cane wrote:Morning troops.

Bit slow on here today.

Anyone up to owt at 'weekend?

Morning Union. You taking TIMC out on any imaginary trips this weekend?

Union Cane wrote:Morning troops.

Bit slow on here today.

Anyone up to owt at 'weekend?

Missus left for France this morning. Smashing it up in town on saturday night but i suspect that could be the general theme from 4pm today until i land in Marseille on Monday.

Have to travel over the Pennines for Mother-in-law's birthday and the f*****g Tour De France heads through the same bit of the country as we're travelling across. They're expecting somewhere in the region of 50,000 - 60,000 extra people this weekend so traffic will be, to put it politely, a reet c**t!!

May even have to go over the night before, which might work out nicely as it could be suggested that grandma and granddad might want to babysit whilst Mummy and Daddy go for a pint on Saturday night

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Morning troops.

Bit slow on here today.

Anyone up to owt at 'weekend?

Morning Union.  You taking TIMC out on any imaginary trips this weekend?

Not this weekend, as I have managed to accidentally volunteer to do a charity 10k obstacle race. Could be interesting.

Tino, can you leave it out with Hazel? I said she is not 10/10 but i like tall women and she has a beautiful smile. She sounds a bit essex as well which is attractive given the circles I've generally mixed in until now.

Union Cane wrote:Anyone up to owt at 'weekend?

May go watch the Bike racing, as the EPO quaffing, shaven legged jebends are cycling pretty much past my house, whilst simultaneously snarling up my ability to be able to travel anywhere.

seanmichaels wrote:Tino, can you leave it out with Hazel?

I very much doubt it.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Tino, can you leave it out with Hazel?

I very much doubt it.

She pretended she didn't know me yesterday, but slipped up when she said 'I told you these would suit you!'

seanmichaels wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Morning troops.

Bit slow on here today.

Anyone up to owt at 'weekend?

Missus left for France this morning. Smashing it up in town on saturday night but i suspect that could be the general theme from 4pm today until i land in Marseille on Monday.

Missus away, but Hazel is around. This is your golden opportunity sean. It may never come around again. I would recommend against asking "Hi Hazel, would you like to smash it up in town tomorrow?", but I'm sure you can find a suitable alternative.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Tino, can you leave it out with Hazel?

I very much doubt it.

She pretended she didn't know me yesterday, but slipped up when she said 'I told you these would suit you!'

Why don't you invite her out to 'smash' up the town on Saturday night? Is that lads only?

If I took that approach I would have to contact her on FB. Which may be construed as a bit Tino-ish.

I don't know, she could probably do without someone like me anyway

seanmichaels wrote: Which may be construed as a bit Tino-ish.

I think you've lost any moral high ground when it comes to stalking.

And imagine if I've completely mis-read the signs. I'd look a right tw@t. Also my FB page mostly has pictures of me kettled.

seanmichaels wrote:I'd look a right tw@t.

In a polo shirt, jeggings and elf shoes? Surely not.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote: Which may be construed as a bit Tino-ish.

I think you've lost any moral high ground when it comes to stalking.

Not sure you should adopt ANY high ground when it comes to stalking. Stay low, dark alleys, bushes, that sort of thing...you guys are idiots.

Anyway, I feel the Sean/Hazel story has run it's course and completely unrelated, SpecSavers have a vacancy in their window!!

seanmichaels wrote:And imagine if I've completely mis-read the signs. I'd look a right tw@t. Also my FB page mostly has pictures of me tea-bagged.

Fixed that for ya

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I'd look a right tw@t.

In a polo shirt, jeggings and elf shoes?  Surely not.

If I was to properly try to woo her I think i'd go fot the scarf / leather jacket combo with dark brown brogues and jeans. Usually works.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I'd look a right tw@t.

In a polo shirt, jeggings and elf shoes?  Surely not.

If I was to properly try to woo her I think i'd go fot the scarf / leather jacket combo with dark brown brogues and jeans. Usually works.

Just a scarf and leather jacket? No t-shirt or anything? We are not in the 1980's Sean.

seanmichaels wrote:And imagine if I've completely mis-read the signs. I'd look a right tw@t. Also my FB page mostly has pictures of me kettled.

 
How much do you actually like her sean?  And what about your current gf?

If it helps, Seany, I will set up my first ever C*ntbook page and do the leg work for you?

I have her full name and she obviously remembers you so I could talk to her tonight if you like?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I'd look a right tw@t.

In a polo shirt, jeggings and elf shoes?  Surely not.

If I was to properly try to woo her I think i'd go fot the scarf / leather jacket combo with dark brown brogues and jeans. Usually works.

Just a scarf and leather jacket?  No t-shirt or anything?  We are not in the 1980's Sean.

Not sure. Either my cowboyish checked shirt or Sid Vicious white T-Shirt. missus bought me some new boxers / ball huggers from Primark so may go with them. Lucky boxers were chucked out years ago.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:If it helps, Seany, I will set up my first ever C*ntbook page and do the leg work for you?

I have her full name and she obviously remembers you so I could talk to her tonight if you like?

I think that may scare her more than me contacting her. If she's got6 a bloke you could get your 7 year old to whack him joe pesci style.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:If it helps, Seany, I will set up my first ever C*ntbook page and do the leg work for you?

I have her full name and she obviously remembers you so I could talk to her tonight if you like?

I think that may scare her more than me contacting her. If she's got6 a bloke you could get your 7 year old to whack him joe pesci style.

He's not 7. He's older. And tall. And it was a lucky shot.

seanmichaels wrote: Either my cowboyish checked shirt or Sid Vicious white T-Shirt. .

You're not one of those dreadful people who own more T shirts for bands than they do records are you Sean? Please tell me you're not.

Rowley wrote:

seanmichaels wrote: Either my cowboyish checked shirt or Sid Vicious white T-Shirt. .

You're not one of those dreadful people who own more T shirts for bands than they do records are you Sean? Please tell me you're not.

I don't think this is a band affiliated T-shirt. Think it came from Primarni aswell.

I have an Ian Brown T-Shirt that my old man bought me last year but thats it.

This is what I'd look like with hazel

Spoiler:

I doubt sean owns any 'records' Jeff. He wouldn't have a gramophone to play them on.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I doubt sean owns any 'records' Jeff. He wouldn't have a gramophone to play them on.

I do actually. 'I wanna be adored' by stone roses. The smaller sized ones. Prob worth a bit.

seanmichaels wrote:

Rowley wrote:

seanmichaels wrote: Either my cowboyish checked shirt or Sid Vicious white T-Shirt. .

You're not one of those dreadful people who own more T shirts for bands than they do records are you Sean? Please tell me you're not.

I don't think this is a band affiliated T-shirt. Think it came from Primarni aswell.

I have an Ian Brown T-Shirt that my old man bought me last year but thats it.

This is what I'd look like with hazel

Spoiler:

This is your real photo album.

Spoiler:

seanmichaels wrote:This is what I'd look like with hazel

Spoiler:

Fixed.

Bog off cane

Fish and chips with mushy peas...

Acceptable friday fare.

Pulled pork sandwich with lashings of barbecue sauce from Crusts of Edinburgh. A welcome Friday special. They offered me a salad for £1, but I'm not going to start eating that foreign muck just because it's cheap.

Fantastic and If I burp often enough I'll be tasting it for the rest of the day.

New batatas and green bean medley left over from last night. Sour cream and black pepper popcorn which is actually ruddy well ok.

It is the culinary gift that keeps on giving super, like the after pub kebab.

The peas in my meal ensured that gas would be produced, however it would be leaving the wrong orifice, and probably not taste so great to be honest.

For Sean:

I had some juliennes of solidified cows milk with fresh picked berries of solanum lycopersicum.

All served between two flour, salt, sugar, yeast and water infusions.

For the rest:

Cheese and tomato sandwich.

I'm off on holiday next week, chaps. I'm neither Rolf Harris or Andy Coulson who may each "throw a seven" with a ligature and a shaky chair on their first nights in prison.

superflyweight wrote:I'm off on holiday next week, chaps.  I'm neither Rolf Harris or Andy Coulson who may each "throw a seven" with a ligature and a shaky chair on their first nights in prison.  

Where are you going, Super?

I'm off on holiday but will no doubt be posting updates of each jerry can of wine I consume. If I don't come back it will be because I have finally succumbed to the life of driving a tractor between vines and drinking pastis at 4 in the morning.

seanmichaels wrote:I'm off on holiday but will no doubt be posting updates of each jerry can of wine I consume. If I don't come back it will be because I have finally succumbed to the life of driving a tractor between vines and drinking pastis at 4 in the morning.

Tino, sean will be in Marseilles. I'm pretty sure you'd want to know, in case you missed his earlier post.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I'm off on holiday but will no doubt be posting updates of each jerry can of wine I consume. If I don't come back it will be because I have finally succumbed to the life of driving a tractor between vines and drinking pastis at 4 in the morning.

Tino, sean will be in Marseilles. I'm pretty sure you'd want to know, in case you missed his earlier post.

Why would I want to know that?

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I'm off on holiday but will no doubt be posting updates of each jerry can of wine I consume. If I don't come back it will be because I have finally succumbed to the life of driving a tractor between vines and drinking pastis at 4 in the morning.

Tino, sean will be in Marseilles. I'm pretty sure you'd want to know, in case you missed his earlier post.

La Cadiere D'azur actually. Smart arse

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:I'm off on holiday next week, chaps.  I'm neither Rolf Harris or Andy Coulson who may each "throw a seven" with a ligature and a shaky chair on their first nights in prison.  

Where are you going, Super?

Off to some massive lodge in Perthshire for 4 nights with Mrs Superfly's family and all the kids. It's likely to be hellish, but I'm going to take some very strong IPA and a few bottles of red wine (buckfast) with me and also plan to annoy everyone by pretending I'm not going to bother voting in the independence referendum.

Cheese & ham sandwiches (unscented), and two bags of beef hula hoops.

When you went to Centre Parks you said you were taking an obscene amount of booze to get through the time there. Not for me to say, but not sure it is healthy that the only way you can tolerate spending time with your family is by getting blind drunk super.

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:I'm off on holiday next week, chaps.  I'm neither Rolf Harris or Andy Coulson who may each "throw a seven" with a ligature and a shaky chair on their first nights in prison.  

Where are you going, Super?

Off to some massive lodge in Perthshire for 4 nights with Mrs Superfly's family and all the kids.  It's likely to be hellish, but I'm going to take some very strong IPA and a few bottles of red wine (buckfast) with me and also plan to annoy everyone by pretending I'm not going to bother voting in the independence referendum.  

Have a nice time.

This might be a stupid question, but do you have to live in Scotland to vote on independence or do you just have to be a Scottish national?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:This might be a stupid question, but do you have to live in Scotland to vote on independence or do you just have to be a Scottish national?

Don't know the answer to that ,but as this issue affects the whole if the UK surely it would be fairer for us all to get a say?

Also, is there such a thing as a Scottish national?

Tino wrote:This might be a stupid question, but do you have to live in Scotland to vote on independence or do you just have to be a Scottish national?

Resident to vote...

And as for super being drunk to tolerate the family, I believe that it would be considered somewhat of a social faux pas to be sober in Scotland.

I may be wrong, but I think anyone resident in Scotland (and otherwise eligible to vote) can vote. That rules out Scottish people living in England or elsewhere.