The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

Labour are in where I live. Should probably be the same again but who knows with the amount of numpties in Scotland who have fallen for the line that the SNP is a left-wing progressive party.

Morning all, good bank holiday?

Fist

rick_dagless wrote:Morning all, good bank holiday?

Fist

Morning DAgLeSs. Lovely bank holiday, thanks. How was yours?

Home alone now though. Mrs Windows has gone to Spain with the kids and her sister-in-law for half term. I, unfortunately, can't go this week so I will have to console myself with a week of uninterrupted evening w*nking.

morning ricko. so so. lumbered with DIY on sunday but nice boozy BBQ yesterday. Only day in this week then it is off on my hols.Think i've phucked my knee which is a bit of an arse....

yourself?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Morning all, good bank holiday?

Fist

Morning DAgLeSs. Lovely bank holiday, thanks. How was yours?

Home alone now though. Mrs Windows has gone to Spain with the kids and her sister-in-law for half term. I, unfortunately, can't go this week so I will have to console myself with a week of uninterrupted evening w*nking.

Get yourself a cat, Tino. Our cat provides about 15-20 minutes of evening entertainment when she can be arsed.

I'd love to get a cat, Galted. Then I could entertain myself for 15-20 minutes by taking shots at it from my bedroom window.

Morning all, week off work this week. TSMR is also off today and tomorrow, which is annoying as she will expect us to do stuff.

Rowley wrote: which is annoying as she will expect us to do stuff.

Sex?

Seems unlikely Tina, house stuff and general pottering about

Morning Tino/sean/Galts/Jeff

Hope your internet can take the strain Tino

Don't do DIY sean so fair play, though power tools and booze do not normally mix!

Don't get a cat Tino...

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:Morning all, good bank holiday?

Fist

Morning DAgLeSs.  Lovely bank holiday, thanks.  How was yours?

Home alone now though.  Mrs Windows has gone to Spain with the kids and her sister-in-law for half term.  I, unfortunately, can't go this week so I will have to console myself with a week of uninterrupted evening w*nking.

Get yourself a cat, Tino. Our cat provides about 15-20 minutes of evening entertainment when she can be arsed.

Thought of you this morning. Got into work early and needed a crap. Went to trap 1 in the groundfloor bogs and there was a massive turd there that looked as if it had been in residence all weekend. Gave it a flush but the bog simply filled up and the turd seemed steadfast in its position. Abandoned the sortie and headed upstairs instead.

rick_dagless wrote:

Don't do DIY sean so fair play, though power tools and booze do not normally mix!

It is a bit like darts. There is an optimum level in the ratio of alcohol to quality of work (usually in the region of 4-6 pints). Tails off above that.

I do indeed have that with darts, and pool, and cooking, but would die if I tried to organise a power tool into any kind of functionality

seanmichaels wrote:

Thought of you this morning. Got into work early and needed a crap. Went to  trap 1 in the groundfloor bogs and there was a massive turd there.

Galted reminds you of a massive turd?

Is that what you're saying?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Thought of you this morning. Got into work early and needed a crap. Went to  trap 1 in the groundfloor bogs and there was a massive turd there.

Galted reminds you of a massive turd?  

Is that what you're saying?

A turd that won't go away.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Thought of you this morning. Got into work early and needed a crap. Went to  trap 1 in the groundfloor bogs and there was a massive turd there.

Galted reminds you of a massive turd?  

Is that what you're saying?

A turd that won't go away.

I wouldn't use the toilet paper glove for someone else's contribution but boiling water is still an option in an emergency.

Morning victims....mixed bag this weekend. Family were a bag of pleasant surprises whilst Liverpool were an absolute bag of f*cking sh!te.

6-1...for the f*cking sake of what the WTF!!!

Skidmark City in the work's bogs this morning. Christ alone knows what these people eat but I'm not going round their house for tea. Might have to run off a couple of admonishing signs telling folk to clean the pan after use and forge the Inspector's signature on them. Might even suggest stool/DNA samples will be taken and offenders punished severely...then again, I have stuff to be getting on with.

Oh, the wife's finally gone back to work today after what seems like a million years on maternity leave. Means she can email/phone me internally and nag me now rather than texting or waiting 'til I get home....brilliant!

A metal transition strip for carpets works wonders as well.

seanmichaels wrote:A metal transition strip for carpets works wonders as well.

Probably only works well if you're employed by Allied Carpets or similar companies. Not sure people will take to kindly to you bring in a piece of metal into a "normal" and informing them that it's for breaking up particularly difficult turds. They may even get confused and think they have to bring their own in.

seanmichaels wrote:Think i've phucked my knee which is a bit of an arse....

Amazing what surgeons can do nowadays.

G*lfed for the first time this year yesterday, had the same ball all the way up to the 16th then lost two in two shots. F*cking game.

Union Cane wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Think i've phucked my knee which is a bit of an arse....

Amazing what surgeons can do nowadays.

l*l.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Think i've phucked my knee which is a bit of an arse....

Amazing what surgeons can do nowadays.

l*l.

Most of them don't know their arse from their knee

Finally a half decent weekend of football for me, We stayed up, Jumped the Makems, Smoggies stayed down, and Big Sam lost his job...

rick_dagless wrote:Finally a half decent weekend of football for me, We stayed up, Jumped the Makems, Smoggies stayed down, and Big Sam lost his job...

It was a great weekend for me.

Some guy kicked the ball into a net. Another one headed the ball into the air. We cheered, we jumped, we celebrated long into the night.

Who is 'we' for you, RicK?

newcastle

Cricket was good. England look alright and I can accept Stokes's qualification rights although not sure how he has picked up the Geordie accent from Cumbrian origins.

Tino wrote:Who is 'we' for you, RicK?

Newcastle indeed...

Quite a few of the Cumbrian accents are geordiesque sean, Berwick is a really odd accent... (I am aware this is not in Cumbria, I just raise the point)

Hope you will all be joining Galted and I in cheering the Villa on in the FA Cup final this weekend.

Rowley supports Villa and my supervisor supports Arsenal...f*cking hell...the best I can hope for is Shah or one of his mob to launch a terrorist attack before kick-off

Jeff wrote:Hope you will all be joining Galted and I in cheering the Villa on in the FA Cup final this weekend.

Not so much I am afraid Jeff, Mrs Dagless is an Arsenal fan, plus we got relegated at Villa Park and the amount of unecessary shadenfreud and uncalled for vitriol from the Villa fans, with whom we have little, or no, history put the club in an unfavourable light with me, so will be nodding towards the gooners, with a side of apathy and bitterness that we are crap...

rick_dagless wrote:

Jeff wrote:Hope you will all be joining Galted and I in cheering the Villa on in the FA Cup final this weekend.

Not so much I am afraid Jeff, Mrs Dagless is an Arsenal fan, plus we got relegated at Villa Park and the amount of unecessary shadenfreud and uncalled for vitriol from the Villa fans, with whom we have little, or no, history put the club in an unfavourable light with me, so will be nodding towards the gooners, with a side of apathy and bitterness that we are crap...

I was at that game Rick. In our defence Martin Laursen was paraded on the pitch before the game announcing his retirement through injury, a good portion of the Newcastle fans booed him, hence why many Villa fans took a seemingly disproportionate amount of pleasure in Newcastle being relegated, all a bit tribal and petty, but they are football fans after all.

They once sealed promotion at our place, early 90's I believe. There were thousands of them, they had infiltrated all parts of the ground. At the final whistle there was a pitch invasion, a guy near me clambered over the hoarding and fell on his arse, ended up with his elbow askew and pointing in a funny direction. "We've broken we're arm, pet!" he shouted, before getting up and running off in the general direction of Keegan's perm.

Jeff wrote:I was at that game Rick. In our defence Martin Laursen was paraded on the pitch before the game announcing his retirement through injury, a good portion of the Newcastle fans booed him, hence why many Villa fans took a seemingly disproportionate amount of pleasure in Newcastle being relegated, all a bit tribal and petty, but they are football fans after all.

I too was at that game Jeff, and there were an awful lot of pre-made banners celebrating our downfall, but, as you say, there are always tools whoever you support!

I have nothing against Villa per-se, but in this particular game, I have slightly more reason to want Villa to lose than Arsenal, but this is mainly bitterness on my part I suspect,

You wouldn't be a proper football fan Rick if you weren't petty and bitter!

True enough Jeff, are you going to the game?

No mate, thought about it, but going to Florida early next year so could do without spending a few hundred quid going to Wembley

Fair play, It is seriously expensive, especially in that there south...

Decamp to the pub with like minded folks and get sloshed...

Or stick pins in your eyes. It will be as much fun as watching the game.

Afternoon Tino, glad to see the record has not changed...

I've barely even got going yet, RiCk.

Don't worry rick, Tina will be watching, he loved Galted and I dearly.

I do love you dearly, but not enough to watch that. Although I will support Aston Villa with all my heart on the day.

I made an effort to watch some of the last world cup in order to fit in with you lot.

It was as boring and sh*t as I remember it.

I'll just have to remain an outcast. Or take up and g*lf and talk to Union.

You go down the action netball Raf route?

Or fabricating fornication and sean route...

Or best way of burying deceased ladies of the night and DAVE (who is currently off football I believe)

Or sean baiting with Shah...

Myriad of options Tino.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-3095227/Swansea-City-fans-reportedly-fight-crowd-trouble-leaves-sour-taste-final-Premier-League-game.html

This looks like one individual tool kicking off...

Plus anything that has such adverbs in as "reportedly" and also has "Daily Mail" in it, is to be taken with a pinch of salt I feel.

I am amazed they have not laid the blame at pregnant doley lesbian immigrants, though football fans are as bad in this newspaper.

Look at the bangers on that

seanmichaels wrote:Look at the bangers on that

Falsies, not for me thanks.

That article reminds me of a joke.

Which football team has a bald head?

dunno?

Wigan

Hahaha

rick_dagless wrote:You go down the action netball Raf route?

Or fabricating fornication and sean route...

Or best way of burying deceased ladies of the night and DAVE (who is currently off football I believe)

Or sean baiting with Shah...

Myriad of options Tino.

Apparently I've been off football for the last 25 years with a break of two and a bit hours back in 2005 and very briefly at the end of last season, beginning of this and of course next season (which will be our season)