Glasgow and Edinburgh: Ongoing Banter Thread IX

[George Carlin]

First topic message reminder :

Time Honoured Banter:

https://www.606v2.com/t48240-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread
https://www.606v2.com/t51313-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-ii
https://www.606v2.com/t53119-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-iii
https://www.606v2.com/t54519-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-iv
https://www.606v2.com/t55409-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-v-the-fun-continues
https://www.606v2.com/t56913p950-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-vi-banter-boogaloo
https://www.606v2.com/t57946-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-vii
https://www.606v2.com/t58659-glasgow-and-edinburgh-ongoing-banter-thread-viii

A. Edinburgh (2015-2016)
 
Players In
William Helu from Wasps
Nasi Manu from Highlanders
Nathan Fowles from Sale Sharks
Michael Allen from Ulster
Jack Cosgrove from Worcester Warriors

Players Out
Tom Heathcote to Worcester Warriors
Grayson Hart to Glasgow Warriors
Ollie Atkins to Exeter Chiefs
Tim Visser to Harlequins
 
B. Glasgow (2015-2016)

Players In
Simone Favaro from Benetton Treviso
Grayson Hart from Edinburgh
Kieran Low from London Irish
Mike Blair from Newcastle Falcons
Sam Johnson from Queensland Reds
Greg Peterson from Leicester Tigers
Taqele Naiyaravoro from NSW Waratahs
Javan Sebastian from Carmarthen Quins

Players Out
Nikola Matawalu to Bath Rugby
Sean Maitland to London Irish
D.T.H. van der Merwe to Scarlets
Dougie Hall retired
Jon Welsh to Newcastle Falcons
Alastair Kellock retired
Murray McConnell to Nottingham
James Downey to Wasps
Tommy Spinks to Jersey
Euan Murray to Pau
Connor Braid released

[IanBru]

Tiger, that's the most disgraceful thing I've ever heard. There is no other film, in the entire history of cinema, that is as quotable as Wayne's World 2.

"So Garth, would you like to have dinner tonight?"
"Oh, I like to have dinner every night."

~~~~~

"Was it Jim Morrison?"
"Yes."
"Was it a half-naked Indian?"
"Yes!"
"I have to ask you... didn't you think it was a trifle inappropriate to see the crack in the Indian's bottom?"
"Yes, absolutely!!"

"WHOOOOAAAHH"

~~~~~

"Aren't you those two guys from that TV show, Wayne's World?"
"No"
"Well, you guys sure look like them."
"Look, if Wayne says we're not, we're not, okay?"

[jimbopip]

Bru,

"Take me , Garth"
"Where?"

[RDW]

For the first time ever I agree with Jimbo.

I'll not tolerate bad things being said about that film!

Was she not an adult movie star? So I've heard...

[IanBru]

RDW, I don't believe there's a person here who will confirm or deny that, or profess any knowledge whatsoever about adult film stars.

[RDW]

Pro 12 fixtures up - anyone bored enough to break them down for each team?

http://www.pro12rugby.com/matchcentre/fixtures_list.php#w6CRWdrATt0GoIki.97

[funnyExiledScot]

I wonder how long it'll take Toonie to realise that Rory Clegg is a better player than Meatball? Got signing, albeit short term.

[A Simply Mesmeric Try]

News just in;

BREAKING: Fly-half Rory Clegg and props George Hunter, Gary Strain & Steven Findlay have signed short-term deals with the club until after the Rugby World Cup!

I'll stick my neck out here and say, Shrek, Bane and the Mighty Coo are all making the final squad. Ditto Meatball and Furra Linee.
Dancer was always a given.


p.s. I watched Wayne's World 2 last night and Wayne meets the beautiful Honnee Horne (pronounced hornay) when I found myself wondering if she was related to Hornay furra Linay. I realised then that it was way past my bedtime

Who's Bane?

And also noticed Auntie Beeb got the new signings names mixed up again. Apparently, Gregor Hunter is a prop (with a picture of George). Considering the Beeb essentially copy/paste the articles from press release, it's pretty poor.

[George Carlin]

I wonder how long it'll take Toonie to realise that Rory Clegg is a better player than Meatball? Got signing, albeit short term.

I asked about Clegg (does anyone else associate that name with large, fierce countryside midges?) on the Falcons thread. Not bad and better than Phil Godman, was the general consensus.

Fine for RWC cover for sure - the first time I have actually seen that phrase used in a press release.
It's like saying "we know he's not very good but there's a World Cup on - what do you want?"

[funnyExiledScot]

Even better than World Class Phil??? You soap dodgers are in for a treat!!

I think Clegg will do well for you in all honesty. Good piece of business.

[RDW]

Since no one se has done it:

Edinburgh

Leinster H (can't be played at Murrayfield due to Foo Fighters gig)
Treviso A

Ospreys H

Ulster H
Zebre A
Connacht A
Munster H

Euro
Euro

Dragons H
Ulster A

Euro
Euro

Glasgow H
Glasgow A
Treviso H

Euro
Euro

Blues A

Scarlets A
Ospreys A
Scarlets H
Connacht H

Euro
Euro

Dragons A
Zebre H

Leinster A
Munster A
Blues H


On paper a tricky start for Edinburgh with 4 of the big 5 at home during the world cup, but their squads are likely to be decimated more than ours so will hopefully work on our advantage.

Blues at home to finish is good if we're chasing a top 6 spot.

Realistically I think we need to be near the top 4 by the time the world cup finishes to stand a good chance of a top 6 finish - given our likely available team during the world cup I think this is achievable.

[jimbopip]

News just in;

BREAKING: Fly-half Rory Clegg and props George Hunter, Gary Strain & Steven Findlay have signed short-term deals with the club until after the Rugby World Cup!

I'll stick my neck out here and say, Shrek, Bane and the Mighty Coo are all making the final squad. Ditto Meatball and Furra Linee.
Dancer was always a given.


p.s. I watched Wayne's World 2 last night and Wayne meets the beautiful Honnee Horne (pronounced hornay) when I found myself wondering if she was related to Hornay furra Linay. I realised then that it was way past my bedtime

Who's Bane?

And also noticed Auntie Beeb got the new signings names mixed up again. Apparently, Gregor Hunter is a prop (with a picture of George). Considering the Beeb essentially copy/paste the articles from press release, it's pretty poor.

Simply, you obviously have not read Ian Bru's posts on the subject of the Kebab-Shop Kerfuffle.
Ryan Wilson was Batman.
Ryan Grant was Bane.
But who was the six foot tall Red Crayon?

[George Carlin]

News just in;

BREAKING: Fly-half Rory Clegg and props George Hunter, Gary Strain & Steven Findlay have signed short-term deals with the club until after the Rugby World Cup!

I'll stick my neck out here and say, Shrek, Bane and the Mighty Coo are all making the final squad. Ditto Meatball and Furra Linee.
Dancer was always a given.


p.s. I watched Wayne's World 2 last night and Wayne meets the beautiful Honnee Horne (pronounced hornay) when I found myself wondering if she was related to Hornay furra Linay. I realised then that it was way past my bedtime

Who's Bane?

And also noticed Auntie Beeb got the new signings names mixed up again. Apparently, Gregor Hunter is a prop (with a picture of George). Considering the Beeb essentially copy/paste the articles from press release, it's pretty poor.

Simply, you obviously have not read Ian Bru's posts on the subject of the Kebab-Shop Kerfuffle.
Ryan Wilson was Batman.
Ryan Grant was Bane.
But who was the six foot tall Red Crayon?

Reports are unconfirmed but eye witnesses reported a mullet and the Crayon saying something about "playing above the ground".

[IanBru]

News just in;

BREAKING: Fly-half Rory Clegg and props George Hunter, Gary Strain & Steven Findlay have signed short-term deals with the club until after the Rugby World Cup!

I'll stick my neck out here and say, Shrek, Bane and the Mighty Coo are all making the final squad. Ditto Meatball and Furra Linee.
Dancer was always a given.


p.s. I watched Wayne's World 2 last night and Wayne meets the beautiful Honnee Horne (pronounced hornay) when I found myself wondering if she was related to Hornay furra Linay. I realised then that it was way past my bedtime

Who's Bane?

And also noticed Auntie Beeb got the new signings names mixed up again. Apparently, Gregor Hunter is a prop (with a picture of George). Considering the Beeb essentially copy/paste the articles from press release, it's pretty poor.

Simply, you obviously have not read Ian Bru's posts on the subject of the Kebab-Shop Kerfuffle.
Ryan Wilson was Batman.
Ryan Grant was Bane.
But who was the six foot tall Red Crayon?

I'm more than happy to help. Eager, in fact.

For the sake of the uninitiated, I have produced this dramatis personae for your assistance:

Name

Ryan Wilson

Ryan Grant

Rory Hughes

Richie Vernon

Gavin Quinn

Ally Maclay

AN Other

AKA

Batman

Bane

TBC

Shark

Minion

Tweedle Dee

Red Crayon

Photofit

TBC

[jimbopip]

Ah Ian, even this synopsis makes me chuckle. That posting was close to a masterpiece, like watching Big Al steal yon lineout from POC in the final.

p.s. still trying to source tickets for the SA game.

[madmaccas]

So the player dressed as a red crayon didn't get involved but watched on with his hand raised in the air.

There can be only one...

[funnyExiledScot]

So the player dressed as a red crayon didn't get involved but watched on with his hand raised in the air.

There can be only one...

I had assumed Bru was implying that in his synopsis. "AN Other" perfectly describes Al "Crayon" Kellock's contribution to rugby......

[tigertattie]

For the first time ever I agree with Jimbo.

I'll not tolerate bad things being said about that film!

Was she not an adult movie star? So I've heard...

nahhhhhhhhhhhhh

She was just a hottie!

The first time I saw Tia she was in a really bad computer game on my crappy old Apple Mac in the 1990s

She was in "true lies" with Arnie but was out hotted by Jamie Lee Curtis

She was also in "Relic Hunter" which was a really bad TV series where she played a female Indiana Jones! The fact that the TV company were not sued for the shocking plagarisim shows that the makers of Indian Jones found the funny side of the shambles!

If anyone does know of any videos where she has her baps out! Please feel free to share

[jimbopip]

Tiger, you win the Chookie Embra "Language As A Bludgeon" Award for that one.

p.s. In case you're wondering, Chookie Embra is the fella who is married to Lizzie Queen. His latest in a long list of classics was asking a voluntary worker at an east London community shelter, "Who do you sponge off?"

[IanBru]

Ha, my dad was a D of E Award assessor until last year, so there was an entire generation of teenagers and teachers in Surrey who had to work out what the hell "Chookie Embra" meant!

[jimbopip]

My favourite of his (Chookie's not Bru senior) was when a kid from a comprehensive school in Romford (think Cranhill but with more expensive shell suits) wrote to Buck House asking why they only ever visited posh public schools. Some PR type decided that if Chookie and Lizzie visited that school it would get lots of good publicity. So it did, right up to the moment when they were introduced to the lad who wrote the letter.
" So, you're the one who can write!" said His Chookiness.

[tigertattie]

The chookie is an absolute ledge!

He comes out with so many stoaters that make you laugh/cringe

With his sexism/racism/agism and general disgust at the lower classes and the footage of Lizzie doing her Hail Hilters, it's no wonder some folk in these isles aint fans of the monarchy!

[funnyExiledScot]

The chookie is an absolute ledge!

He comes out with so many stoaters that make you laugh/cringe

With his sexism/racism/agism and general disgust at the lower classes and the footage of Lizzie doing her Hail Hilters, it's no wonder some folk in these isles aint fans of the monarchy!

The publication of that footage and the manner of its publication (and the reaction in some quarters) was far more of a national embarrasment than the footage itself.

If a poll were to be conducted as to whether we should scrap the Monarchy or the tabloid media, I'm confident of the outcome.

[jimbopip]

The chookie is an absolute ledge!

He comes out with so many stoaters that make you laugh/cringe

With his sexism/racism/agism and general disgust at the lower classes and the footage of Lizzie doing her Hail Hilters, it's no wonder some folk in these isles aint fans of the monarchy!

The publication of that footage and the manner of its publication (and the reaction in some quarters) was far more of a national embarrasment than the footage itself.

If a poll were to be conducted as to whether we should scrap the Monarchy leprosy or the tabloid media, I'm not too confident of the outcome.

Fixed that for you Fes.

[IanBru]

Exactly. If we're to be judged by what we did when we were seven years old, or assumed to hold the same views as we did at that age, then today at age 27 I am a Power Ranger, I follow the orders of Zordon, and I solve all problems by kicking them in the head.
‪
Even more so, there was many a famous figure in Britain (Churchill, Spike Milligan and David Lloyd George among them) who flirted with support for fascism in the early 1930s. Partly through an opposition to communism, and partly through the belief that a form of mildly-authoritarian government would be needed to recover from the Great Depression (no, I'm not talking about how I felt following Scotland v Italy this year). Of course they did not know then what we know now.

‪#‎GoGoPowerRangers‬

[jimbopip]

Exactly. If we're to be judged by what we did when we were seven years old, or assumed to hold the same views as we did at that age, then today at age 27 I am a Power Ranger, I follow the orders of Zordon, and I solve all problems by kicking them in the head.
‪
and partly through the belief that a form of mildly-authoritarian government would be needed to recover from the Great Depression (no, I'm not talking about how I felt following Scotland v Italy this year). Of course they did not know then what we know now; that kebabs at two in the morning can leave you feeling sick for some time

‪#‎GoGoPowerRangers‬

Bru, Bru, your account has been hacked by Batman.

[tigertattie]

Exactly. If we're to be judged by what we did when we were seven years old, or assumed to hold the same views as we did at that age, then today at age 27 I am a Power Ranger, I follow the orders of Zordon, and I solve all problems by kicking them in the head.
‪
Even more so, there was many a famous figure in Britain (Churchill, Spike Milligan and David Lloyd George among them) who flirted with support for fascism in the early 1930s. Partly through an opposition to communism, and partly through the belief that a form of mildly-authoritarian government would be needed to recover from the Great Depression (no, I'm not talking about how I felt following Scotland v Italy this year). Of course they did not know then what we know now.

‪#‎GoGoPowerRangers‬

crud!

going on this logic, I'm Either Glen Michael or a Thundercat!

[cp10]

I'm raising money for a couple of charities close to my heart in memory of a friend and former rugby teammate who tragically died in a car accident on Christmas Eve last year, leaving a widow and two young children. The charities are WAY (www.widowedandyoung.org.uk) and Home Start (www.home-start.org.uk).

For those of you who live in the Edinburgh area the club are coming together on Saturday to raise funds in his honour and to keep the memory of a ‘gentle giant’ alive. Centred round a rugby tournament to celebrate ‘Loggy’ through the sport he loved. Activities for all-ages will be on the menu in order to foster as much as is possible of the spirit that draws people to small, community rugby clubs like Northern.

Edinburgh Northern RFC would like to take this opportunity to welcome anyone with a passion for fun and a love of laughs to join us in Inverleith Park, East Fettes Avenue from 1pm on Saturday 25th July for a day of rugby, family games, barbecued meats and an evening of music.

http://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/fundraisers-honour-rugby-player-killed-in-crash-1-3837290

There's a Just Giving page for those feeling generous - https://www.justgiving.com/teams/ENRFC

[funnyExiledScot]

cp10 - it sounds like a great event and a fantastic cause. Unfortunately I'm away in Orkney this weekend but I do hope the event goes well.

[jimbopip]

cp10, if I was north of the border at all I would be there. I hope the day goes well and there are laughs and fond remembrances.

[RuggerRadge2611]

CP10, ping me a PM as a reminder if I haven't sponsored you by the end of the week.

Unfortunately I won't be able to attend the event either since Mrs Radge is at the "lying on the couch like a vast slug stage of pregnancy" and makes no other noises other than exasperated sighs and groans.

Have a good one though...

[jimbopip]

CP10, ping me a PM as a reminder if I haven't sponsored you by the end of the week.

Unfortunately I won't be able to attend the event either since Mrs Radge is at the "lying on the couch like a vast slug stage of pregnancy" and makes no other noises other than exasperated sighs and groans.

Have a good one though...

That's a taste of the next forty years for you.

[RuggerRadge2611]

Nae doubt Jimbo!

[RDW]

I'm raising money for a couple of charities close to my heart in memory of a friend and former rugby teammate who tragically died in a car accident on Christmas Eve last year, leaving a widow and two young children. The charities are WAY (www.widowedandyoung.org.uk) and Home Start (www.home-start.org.uk).

For those of you who live in the Edinburgh area the club are coming together on Saturday to raise funds in his honour and to keep the memory of a ‘gentle giant’ alive. Centred round a rugby tournament to celebrate ‘Loggy’ through the sport he loved. Activities for all-ages will be on the menu in order to foster as much as is possible of the spirit that draws people to small, community rugby clubs like Northern.

Edinburgh Northern RFC would like to take this opportunity to welcome anyone with a passion for fun and a love of laughs to join us in Inverleith Park, East Fettes Avenue from 1pm on Saturday 25th July for a day of rugby, family games, barbecued meats and an evening of music.

http://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/fundraisers-honour-rugby-player-killed-in-crash-1-3837290

There's a Just Giving page for those feeling generous - https://www.justgiving.com/teams/ENRFC

Tragic accidents like this are always sad, but it certainly brings it home when it is a player from a local rugby club in your area. We played you guys in pre-season last year but cannot remember whether he played or not. Either way, very sad.

I'm up north this weekend, but have given you a wee donation. Hope it all goes well.

[George Carlin]

I'm raising money for a couple of charities close to my heart in memory of a friend and former rugby teammate who tragically died in a car accident on Christmas Eve last year, leaving a widow and two young children. The charities are WAY (www.widowedandyoung.org.uk) and Home Start (www.home-start.org.uk).

For those of you who live in the Edinburgh area the club are coming together on Saturday to raise funds in his honour and to keep the memory of a ‘gentle giant’ alive. Centred round a rugby tournament to celebrate ‘Loggy’ through the sport he loved. Activities for all-ages will be on the menu in order to foster as much as is possible of the spirit that draws people to small, community rugby clubs like Northern.

Edinburgh Northern RFC would like to take this opportunity to welcome anyone with a passion for fun and a love of laughs to join us in Inverleith Park, East Fettes Avenue from 1pm on Saturday 25th July for a day of rugby, family games, barbecued meats and an evening of music.

http://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/fundraisers-honour-rugby-player-killed-in-crash-1-3837290

There's a Just Giving page for those feeling generous - https://www.justgiving.com/teams/ENRFC

Very good cause CP. Donation made - I went for the WAY page as that was lagging behind the other one a moment ago.

[George Carlin]

CP10, ping me a PM as a reminder if I haven't sponsored you by the end of the week.

Unfortunately I won't be able to attend the event either since Mrs Radge is at the "lying on the couch like a vast slug stage of pregnancy" and makes no other noises other than exasperated sighs and groans.

Have a good one though...

That's a taste of the next forty years for you.

Welcome to Married Life.

[jimbopip]

CP10, ping me a PM as a reminder if I haven't sponsored you by the end of the week.

Unfortunately I won't be able to attend the event either since Mrs Radge is at the "lying on the couch like a vast slug stage of pregnancy" and makes no other noises other than exasperated sighs and groans.

Have a good one though...

Watching the MFL again.

[RuggerRadge2611]

CP10, ping me a PM as a reminder if I haven't sponsored you by the end of the week.

Unfortunately I won't be able to attend the event either since Mrs Radge is at the "lying on the couch like a vast slug stage of pregnancy" and makes no other noises other than exasperated sighs and groans.

Have a good one though...

Watching the MFL again.

[funnyExiledScot]

It only gets worse Radge! Lying on the coach is a thing of days past. Wait until the little rug rat can crawl. I spend my evenings walking around the flat after babyfES waiting for her to bash her head. Then picking her up for 20 minutes until she stops crying. Then repeat for about 3 hours until she goes to bed. Sleep well at that point, as you have about 2 hours until she'll be awake again.....

It's magical.

[George Carlin]

When my daughter was 2, I used to offer her a choice of two ties and the one she selected was the one that I wore to work that day. Cause and effect - she got to make a decision and see a result.

By the age of 3, both ties were rejected at the door as being "yukky, dadda".

You haven't lived until you've had your sartorial choices dissed by a tiny creature whose principal accomplishments are to have learned all of the Sesame Street songs and to fit an entire croissant in her mouth at the same time.

[RDW]

Here's a jonny Gray tribute video to make everyone's Thursday mornings a little better - what a beast!

http://www.rugbyonslaught.com/2015/07/richie-grays-little-brother-jonny-is.html?m=1

[21st Century Schizoid Man]

Nice one RDW

Imagine that Puma that got double tapped by JG and Big Bad Boab H needed a ribcage transplant !

[jimbopip]

He's back

[jimbopip]

So, just to update you Schiz,
Fecc all has happened in your absence.

Except GC has been telling cute family tales. Makes you want to vomit.

All the lawyers have been posting about how they're not the worst ones it's the barstards in PPI/PFI/QPR/AC-DC etc. They were hoping that everyone else would butt in to say, "No we all love you, really." They're still waiting.

I'm trying to hunt down tickets for either of the games in Noocassell bonny lad, since that nice Mr Bru has offered to sub let part of his bed-sit to me.

Oh yes, and Glasgow won the Pro 12.

Never gets old does it?

[jimbopip]

p.s. Has anyone noticed the new Killer B's?

Bane
Bluto
Batman

[tigertattie]

So, just to update you Schiz,
Fecc all has happened in your absence.

Except GC has been telling cute family tales. Makes you want to vomit.

All the lawyers have been posting about how they're not the worst ones it's the barstards in PPI/PFI/QPR/AC-DC etc. They were hoping that everyone else would butt in to say, "No we all love you, really."  They're still waiting.

I'm trying to hunt down tickets for either of the games in Noocassell bonny lad, since that nice Mr Bru has offered to sub let part of his bed-sit to me.

Oh yes, and Glasgow won the Pro 12.

Never gets old does it?

 Fixed that for you sir

[George Carlin]

Very aggressive today, Jimbo, very aggressive young man. I can only assume those piles are playing up again.

[jimbopip]

Tiger, I had to read it three times before I saw what you did.

George, just you wait. I was typing while heading out the door; Princess had "enjoyed " the end of term do and crashed at a colleagues, her car wouldn't start and phoning dad was the only solution. You've got all this to come. having your ties chosen is just the start of it.
Oh, and thanks to you I've been singing The Housemartins' "Me And The Farmer".

[George Carlin]

Tiger,  I had to read it three times before I saw what you did.

George, just you wait. I was typing while heading out the door; Princess had "enjoyed " the end of term do and crashed at a colleagues, her car wouldn't start and phoning dad was the only solution. You've got all this to come. having your ties chosen is just the start of it.
Oh, and thanks to you I've been singing The Housemartins' "Me And The Farmer".

[jimbopip]

GC, Ithangyew.  Equilibrium restored. May I recommend Nouvelle Vague to you. Take three times a day to maintain a healthy glow. Especially their version of The Dead Kennedys , "Too drunk to Fecc"..Mind you Princess Daughter was NOT IMPRESSED when it came on the cd player in the car.

[tigertattie]

Tiger,  I had to read it three times before I saw what you did.

The subtltey of my work is revered!

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