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Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

alfie wrote:nomenclature

Lovely stuff, alfie. Not a word we see often on here.

Reminds of the time Jeff used 'oeuvre' when describing some j*zz singer.

Although he was being deliberately pompous whereas I suspect yours is accidental pomposity.

F*ck off, Tino, can you not see that I'm already grooming alfie?

She'd aged pretty badly, must've been doing some serious drugs.

Galted wrote:She'd aged pretty badly, must've been doing some serious drugs.

That would be against the law son.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:She'd aged pretty badly, must've been doing some serious drugs.

That would be against the law son.

And 'Nigella' is only one letter away from being an anagram of 'illegal'. Can't believe the conspiracy theorists haven't picked up on this, must be due to Russian interference.

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:She'd aged pretty badly, must've been doing some serious drugs.

That would be against the law son.

And 'Nigella' is only one letter away from being an anagram of 'illegal'.  Can't believe the conspiracy theorists haven't picked up on this, must be due to Russian interference.

Nah. Lefty BBC woke agenda.

Got that on good authority from the g*lf c*nts.

Sitting on fist on hump(ish) day, what a time to be alive!

Sicond.

A full day of 'team building' plus about 4.5 hrs total in the car yesterday. Not great but surprisingly not awful either

I'd rather spend 4.5 hours in a car stuck in a traffic jam than 20 minutes 'team building'.

Even if that car included Superfly and Chief?

I've always been convinced that 'team building' is utter b*llocks. Gives HR c*nts something to talk about but other than that, just irritates the workforce.

Galted, go and get the guitar.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Even if that car included Superfly and Chief?

I've always been convinced that 'team building' is utter b*llocks. Gives HR c*nts something to talk about but other than that, just irritates the workforce.

Galted, go and get the guitar.

Was at a team building away day last year and the guy running the session asked me in front of a room full of people, who would I go to if I had a problem and I couldn't speak to my close family or my work colleagues about it?

I said Daley Thompson.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Even if that car included Superfly and Chief?

I've always been convinced that 'team building' is utter b*llocks. Gives HR c*nts something to talk about but other than that, just irritates the workforce.

Galted, go and get the guitar.

Soon as I finish the neck massage.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Even if that car included Superfly and Chief?

I've always been convinced that 'team building' is utter b*llocks. Gives HR c*nts something to talk about but other than that, just irritates the workforce.

Galted, go and get the guitar.

To be honest it is damned if you do, damned if you don't. My bit of my company consists of about 70 people who are either working remotely or at two main offices which are 50 odd miles apart. Anything which improves cohesion is a good thing even if the team building exercises are only a mild improvement on being stuck in that car

lostinwales wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Even if that car included Superfly and Chief?

I've always been convinced that 'team building' is utter b*llocks. Gives HR c*nts something to talk about but other than that, just irritates the workforce.

Galted, go and get the guitar.

To be honest it is damned if you do, damned if you don't. My bit of my company consists of about 70 people who are either working remotely or at two main offices which are 50 odd miles apart. Anything which improves cohesion is a good thing even if the team building exercises are only a mild improvement on being stuck in that car

All farmers have wives.

This one doesn't, he's gay.

Well, then, he shouldn't be allowed near animals should he?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

lostinwales wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Even if that car included Superfly and Chief?

I've always been convinced that 'team building' is utter b*llocks. Gives HR c*nts something to talk about but other than that, just irritates the workforce.

Galted, go and get the guitar.

To be honest it is damned if you do, damned if you don't. My bit of my company consists of about 70 people who are either working remotely or at two main offices which are 50 odd miles apart. Anything which improves cohesion is a good thing even if the team building exercises are only a mild improvement on being stuck in that car

All farmers have wives.

This one doesn't, he's gay.

Well, then, he shouldn't be allowed near animals should he?

Two sisters. Lesbians. Me just watching.

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

lostinwales wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Even if that car included Superfly and Chief?

I've always been convinced that 'team building' is utter b*llocks. Gives HR c*nts something to talk about but other than that, just irritates the workforce.

Galted, go and get the guitar.

To be honest it is damned if you do, damned if you don't. My bit of my company consists of about 70 people who are either working remotely or at two main offices which are 50 odd miles apart. Anything which improves cohesion is a good thing even if the team building exercises are only a mild improvement on being stuck in that car

All farmers have wives.

This one doesn't, he's gay.

Well, then, he shouldn't be allowed near animals should he?

Two sisters.  Lesbians.  Me just watching.  

Never thought I'd say this, but can I hear more from Superfly.

How big is this chicken that it's the same size as a bag of grain?

Dunno, big chicken.

How big?

It's a super chicken.

king_carlos wrote:How big is this chicken that it's the same size as a bag of grain?

Dunno, big chicken.

How big?

It's a super chicken.

The king has returned.
                                   - Rafiki

Since when has a fist and a michaelsing gone together?

I noticed the "latest images" link for the first time and it's largely filled with jewels that could only originate in one place.

Whenever MTS shifts onto a new thread it moves out of my followed pages, because I'm never on the music page is passes out of sight and mind. Then something like that happens and I remember there's a whole other ecosystem hiding away. It's a bit like the dark web for solely chatting nonsense instead of working. A simultaneously fascinating and bewildering corner of 606v2.

You don't get the weekend michaelsing that easily.

You need to time your posts.

When for?

Midnight.

OK

After some consideration, I've decided that I will not be bitter. I will say 'b*llocks' and move on.

B*llocks.

I'd rather you just said 'fist' and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post.

Sorry for the late response, thought I might be Paul Cattermole but turns out I'm not.

Fist.

Fist. After watching the Liverpool v Arsenal highlights I'm very annoyed with myself for not betting on Jesus successfully getting onto the end of a cross on the Easter weekend.

L*l out loud.
Nailed it!

Hope everyone had a great time worshiping the great Zombie Jesus.

Fist.

Morning rIck,

Yeah, I got a relatively severe haircut on Saturday in his honour. That's as far as I'll go.

How are you going?

Sicond.

I'm alright cheers, Peej, I need a severe haircut at the moment, I am looking like some kind of homeless beatnik.

Nice weekend, saw an excellent play based from a Neil Gaiman book, not the biggest theatre fan, but a friend kindly gifted me it, and it was bloody excellent.

(The Ocean At The End Of The Lane)

rIck_dAgless wrote:I'm alright cheers, Peej, I need a severe haircut at the moment, I am looking like some kind of homeless beatnik.

Nice weekend, saw an excellent play based from a Neil Gaiman book, not the biggest theatre fan, but a friend kindly gifted me it, and it was bloody excellent.

(The Ocean At The End Of The Lane)

Sounds good, rick. I've just read the plot summary for the novel.

I don't know of a Lettie Hempstock but we did have a Louise Henstridge live next door to us a one stage. Sort of a quiet and shy girl. Maybe she changed her name and kept the LH initials. No idea where she is now though.

Neil Gaiman rarely lets you down TBH, but I was more surprised with the production levels and effects in the show, It's been a while since I have done a proper play, and things have certainly come on.

Well I hope she has gone on and done all she wishes with her life.

I've just unloaded a particularly satisfying amount of rectal gas in the children's play area at the national maritime museum.

Hopefully not the one down in Cornwall.

Nope, London. Would've melted into the crowd with no-one noticing I was even here but most of the attendees are half my size.

Fist!

End of 5 days off work. It isn't enough

Anything more than two days off for me and it's a struggle to remember what it is I do.

Galted wrote:Anything more than two days off for me and it's a struggle to remember what it is I do.

It seems what I do is 'browse social media'

I had a great day at the Sydney Royal Easter Show today. I'll sleep really well in a couple of hours time.

Over a hundred thousand people packed into the precinct. There was a great happy vibe there.

Lots of junk food stalls packed with odd food. Lasagna on a stick? ffs...

Went through the sheep shearing pavilion. Rubbed my fingers through some superfine wool. Then met some massive pigs with very large gonads. Passed by the poultry pretty quickly for fear of catching some avian flu.

Then onto the Farmyard Nursery which was one of the highlights of the day. It's a massive hall with a winding route through cleverly positioned obstacles like haystacks and wooden bridges... and hundreds of different animals all mixed together getting stuffed with cupfuls of grain by millions of kiddies. Some really exotic looking goats and sheep plus chooks, rabbits, guinea pigs, ducks... all mingling happily with people.

Gave a couple of oxen a scratch behind the ears (they loved me... and even let me grab their horns for a moment) and a donkey also wouldn't leave me alone. They can tell if you're a good soul I believe.

The alpacas were a bit up themselves. Above me and looking down at me and I think they sensed I wasn't impressed with their so-called airs and graces. Then washed and scrubbed hands for half a minute before heading to other parts.

Had a quick peep in the main arena but nothing much going on in there. Just setting up for the jumps later on in the afternoon. A couple of jerks went around the dirt track on mud bikes when the horses were away. Was hoping one (or all) of them would crash or get impaled on an advertising hoarding post or fake windmill... but no luck there.

At Side Show Alley I asked a country lass if she remembered the Half Man - Half Woman or the Man with Two Heads... and if she knew what they're up to these days. Had a good laugh with her. Thought about having a few shots at the shooting gallery but the toy prizes weren't worth the carry. Then walked quickly past the Ghost Train and pretended to look at my phone.

The Dog Agility Performance Show was outstanding. The stands were packed and the Border Collie won both the long obstacle course and the short one through the poles and hoop at the end in record time... in about 4.45 seconds... and nearly crashed into the fence next to me at the end. Special mention should be made to the funny black miniature poodle. A bit of fur on sticks really... you couldn't see much dog there but it finished in around 5.2 seconds and got a combination of a rounding applause and shrieks of laughter.

The woodchopping was a bit slow. Those logs looked very hard to crack. Nobody lost any limbs or parts thereof whilst I was there but they came within inches.

The produce hall was also pretty impressive. Some great arrangements of various fruit depicting different regions of NSW. Think Central West won best display and Southern won the best produce. I got very close to a 122 kg pumpkin but was not allowed to touch it. "Yes, I'm real" said the sign.

Might have missed a few other highlights but all in all it was a good fun day. Covered about 10 km or 6 miles all up. Didn't get into Showbag Hall, rIck. The queue was too long. The bags ranged from about $5 to around $35. I note The Disgusting Bag was $10. No idea what's in it.

But I do now...

WHAT'S INCLUDED

1x Snot $2.95

1x Leech $2.95

1x Fart Whistle $2.95

1x Goofy Teeth $2.95

1x Stool $2.95

1x Super Vomit $2.95

1x Whoopee Cushion $2.95

Total Retail Value: $20.65

https://www.eastershow.com.au/explore/showbags/?page=2

That's some update, peej me old china, good enjoyable read, and thanks for the Showbag update!

Lovely stuff.

rIck_dAgless wrote:That's some update, peej me old china, good enjoyable read, and thanks for the Showbag update!

Lovely stuff.

Thanks mate. Glad you enjoyed the read.

I'm still buzzing from all the sights and sounds.

Forgot to mention an obvious thing: the people.

Just looking at all shapes and sizes and what some of the kids were wearing (some hardly anything at all or a little bit too revealing one could say).

It's so hard not to crack up in their faces and ask them "what were you thinking?" or "what's the rest of your wardrobe like?"

That was worth the price of admission on its own. Only $32.50 for me.

That's what I call a show.

Only sh*te they have round these parts is face-painting and trannies reading stories.

Usually some spoons and a guy with a couple of ferrets down their pants, nearest we have to a show bag is Yorkshire Tea.

rIck_dAgless wrote:Usually some spoons and a guy with a couple of ferrets down their pants, nearest we have to a show bag is Yorkshire Tea.

Racist.

I never drive fast.

rIck_dAgless wrote:I never drive fast.

Tracy Chapman thinks you're a bit of a c*nt.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:I never drive fast.

Tracy Chapman thinks you're a bit of a c*nt.

He just needs some love and affection.

That's Joan Armatrading you heathen.

I considered altering this to say something less unneeded than heathen then decided not to.