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Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

alfie wrote:nomenclature

Lovely stuff, alfie. Not a word we see often on here.

Reminds of the time Jeff used 'oeuvre' when describing some j*zz singer.

Although he was being deliberately pompous whereas I suspect yours is accidental pomposity.

F*ck off, Tino, can you not see that I'm already grooming alfie?

king_carlos wrote:That's Joan Armatrading you heathen.

Well, they all look the same.

Careful. Some of the golf or political roundup regulars will descend on here pretty quickly with progressive outbursts like that.

We need to whisper about revolution in these parts.

I do miss Truss being more regular in his statistical representation of mental breakdown though. I sometimes catch myself staring into space wondering what the family WhatsApp looks like.

"Am I picking up the kids from school today Luv?

46% yes
27% no
26% undecided
1% invalid ballot

Starmer ran over my cat."

I'm fairly sure that an infinite amount of posters, using an infinite amount of devices, over an infinite amount of Wednesdays, wouldn't repeat today's conversation.

Cheese.

Pithy mopoke.

5. Civic

4. Caravaggio

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:I never drive fast.

Tracy Chapman thinks you're a bit of a c*nt.

I think he's a c**t as well.

Fist

Working a shift in a pals cafe and witnessed a bloke who must be in his 70s call his friend a "flid" for saying something dumb then subsequently have explain to his wife that it's short for thalidomide baby, then attempt to explain why he finds that a funny insult before getting loudly bollocked like he's a child with the whole cafe able to hear.

Sicond.

What a morning I've had. Dropped a fairly innocuous insult over breakfast in a cafe and Mrs Windows went all menstrual at me. The whole cafe was looking. Embarrassing.

The mate you insulted was reading a Ben Elton novel too. If anything flid was flattery purely on that basis.

He wasn't really reading it. Had a copy of Readers Wives on his lap.

Reminds me of the joke about the three pregnant women knitting jumpers for their babies. The first mother-to-be takes a pill out of her handbag and swallows it. The other two ask what it was and she says 'vitamin A, I want my kid to grow up big and strong'. The second mother-to-be takes a pill out of her handbag and swallows it. The other two ask what it was and she says 'vitamin B, I want my kid to grow up clever'. The third mother-to-be takes a pill out of her handbag and swallows it. The other two ask what it was and she says 'thalidomide, I can't knit arms'.

l*l out loud

Thanks, Rick. Felt a bit like Jack Whitehall there for awhile.

To show my gratitude, I won't be that furious if Newcastle beat Villa on Saturday.

Both teams in good form, mate, glad we can keep it civil.

Watching it at a Geordie mate's house. First time in possibly decades that neither of us have been dreading the fixture.

Fist for me then. And I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't absolutely thrilled.

Galted wrote:Watching it at a Geordie mate's house. First time in possibly decades that neither of us have been dreading the fixture.

When you say Geordie mates 'house', you mean the pub right?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Watching it at a Geordie mate's house. First time in possibly decades that neither of us have been dreading the fixture.

When you say Geordie mates 'house', you mean the pub right?

I don't think so, he's highly sophisticated for a Man of the North and does actually live in a house that wasn't built by himself.  Tend to avoid the pub if I can when it comes to football, there's always at least one c*nt who's taken it upon himself to show the rest of the pub how passionate he is about his f*cking team and has to keep running up to the screen oohing and aaghing and crying out for a snooker ball or a pint glass to the face.

Sophisticated for a Man of the North just means someone who uses laces rather than velcro.

Agreed on the pub thing. You should go full Carlin next time. Whip your Hi-Tec off, fill your sock with pool balls and smash her in the face with it.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Sophisticated for a Man of the North just means someone who uses laces rather than velcro.

Agreed on the pub thing. You should go full Carlin next time. Whip your Hi-Tec off, fill your sock with pool balls and smash her in the face with it.

Haha, unfortunately I'm the type who doesn't do anything about it beyond entertaining a series of SerialDAVE thoughts.

Fist

Fist.

B*llocks.

Sicond.

Galted wrote:Fist.

B*llocks.

Sicond.

Sicond.

B*llocks.

Fist

I can take PJ's fist but Super's fist yesterday really hurt me.

Galted wrote:I can take PJ's fist but Super's fist yesterday really hurt me.

Too big?

lostinwales wrote:

Galted wrote:I can take PJ's fist but Super's fist yesterday really hurt me.

Too big?

I simply refuse to use lube.

l()l Maybe try using some fish oil next time.

Just took the bins out. Red (general) and yellow (plastic containers, etc).

As I placed them carefully on the correct spot I noticed a shadowy figure coming down the footpath towards me... only about 30m away.
They then stopped. Thought it was an old Chinese lady going for an evening walk who maybe didn't want to say "hello" due to shyness or something.

Fair enough.

Then a flash of light caught my attention as I walked back up the driveway. It was a woman (I couldn't see the face properly) wearing one of those miner's torches on her head... or a torch built into a helmet?

Quite a professional, well-kitted out scavenger! I quickly went back through the house and had a peek through the front window. She was pretty tidy. I saw her look in the other one - the general waste - and quickly close the lid.  Obviously it's not worth collecting used tissues covered in phlegm mixed with potato peelings, decaying onions and slightly rancid inedible meat... even if it's all neatly secured in Glad Tidy Bags.

Do you guys get that sort of thing? It's quite a popular pursuit here.

One old lady rides an even older push bike with two gigantic mountains (bags of plastic bottles) either side. There's no way she can see cars approaching from behind. Something I'd expect to see in Guangzhou or Hanoi... but now it's also happening in Sydney.

Not something I've seen here PJ - although the town I live in is painfully white and middle class and any sightings of anyone poor or from an ethnic background would set off mass panic.

I see Rick has had a 'mare and has posted something meant for here on the Trump Presidency thread.

superflyweight wrote:Not something I've seen here PJ - although the town I live in is painfully white and middle class and any sightings of anyone poor or from an ethnic background would set off mass panic.  

I see Rick has had a 'mare and has posted something meant for here on the Trump Presidency thread.  

I have indeed, thanks for having my back...

Anyway, as I was saying

South spreading North, it'll be F**king cereal cafes next

https://themanc.com/trending/yorkshire-tea-launches-its-own-kombucha-in-two-flavours-but-you-cant-buy-it-yet/

rIck_dAgless wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Not something I've seen here PJ - although the town I live in is painfully white and middle class and any sightings of anyone poor or from an ethnic background would set off mass panic.  

I see Rick has had a 'mare and has posted something meant for here on the Trump Presidency thread.  

I have indeed, thanks for having my back...

Anyway, as I was saying

South spreading North, it'll be F**king cereal cafes next

https://themanc.com/trending/yorkshire-tea-launches-its-own-kombucha-in-two-flavours-but-you-cant-buy-it-yet/

I can see how Men of T'North would find that upsetting, even if it is a bit of a snowflake reaction.
But I won't have a word said against cereal cafes - where else can I can a bowl of Frankenberry?

rIck_dAgless wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Not something I've seen here PJ - although the town I live in is painfully white and middle class and any sightings of anyone poor or from an ethnic background would set off mass panic.  

I see Rick has had a 'mare and has posted something meant for here on the Trump Presidency thread.  

I have indeed, thanks for having my back...

Anyway, as I was saying

South spreading North, it'll be F**king cereal cafes next

https://themanc.com/trending/yorkshire-tea-launches-its-own-kombucha-in-two-flavours-but-you-cant-buy-it-yet/

Just read the article too. So is it like iced tea with a bit of an alcohol punch?

F**ked if I know, Peej, couldn't bring myself to read it, My face turned into a gammon and I blame the 5g covid that are turning the frogs gay, glad we did Brexit so we can stop this type of nonsense at the borders with all the illegals in the free penthouse hotels that they get as a sponsorship to invoke Shania Twain law.

Pal Joey wrote:l()l Maybe try using some fish oil next time.

Just took the bins out. Red (general) and yellow (plastic containers, etc).

As I placed them carefully on the correct spot I noticed a shadowy figure coming down the footpath towards me... only about 30m away.
They then stopped. Thought it was an old Chinese lady going for an evening walk who maybe didn't want to say "hello" due to shyness or something.

Fair enough.

Then a flash of light caught my attention as I walked back up the driveway. It was a woman (I couldn't see the face properly) wearing one of those miner's torches on her head... or a torch built into a helmet?

Quite a professional, well-kitted out scavenger! I quickly went back through the house and had a peek through the front window. She was pretty tidy. I saw her look in the other one - the general waste - and quickly close the lid.  Obviously it's not worth collecting used tissues covered in phlegm mixed with potato peelings, decaying onions and slightly rancid inedible meat... even if it's all neatly secured in Glad Tidy Bags.

Do you guys get that sort of thing? It's quite a popular pursuit here.

One old lady rides an even older push bike with two gigantic mountains (bags of plastic bottles) either side. There's no way she can see cars approaching from behind. Something I'd expect to see in Guangzhou or Hanoi... but now it's also happening in Sydney.

Had an awkward encounter with a Chinese family at the playground on Sunday.  My son was trying to help their daughter with an impressive sandcastle she was building - she wouldn't let him and was brushing away all the bits he was adding, so he strategically managed to fall on it, demolishing the entire structure.  I prefer to let kids sort out their disagreements unless it turns violent so was pretending not to be aware.  The girl then walked towards me and burst into tears, realised that the people sitting next to me were her parents.  The dad then went and stood next to my son and shouted, in broken English, 'who's child is this?' thus forcing me to trudge through the sandpit in full view of the tattoed mums.  He only came up to my chest but I was a bit worried he might be a triad or one of those Bruce Lee types so I respectfully apologised and pretended I'd had no idea my son had been f*cking up his daughter's afternoon.  He was decent about it and we had a bit of a chat and I took my son to apologise to the girl, only he wouldn't and the mother then got on the case, shouting in even more broken English about how hard her daughter had worked on it.  Told her I didn't need her input and told my son again to apologise but he threw himself backwards over my lap, screaming, and managed to kick me right on the nose.  Had to drag him off to the other sandpit, threatening him on the way that it would be the last time he ever visited the playground if he acted like that again.  He thought the whole thing was hugely funny and proceeded to demolish anything being built in the other sandpit, screaming blue murder when I forcibly removed him from the playground.  Little c*nt thought he deserved an ice-cream after all this, which I had great satisfaction in denying him.

Fist.

Wow, now that's a proper story. It must have been hard for you trying to keep a straight face.

Have a feeling your son may have been looking for hidden cameras, or possibly even hidden microphones, in the sandcastle.

I'd get him an ice cream next time if I were you. A double cone.

But then again, because I'm not you... you'll know what's best to do.

Sicond (chance)

I wasn't Father Bob.

I blame the parents.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I blame the parents.

Galted probably does as well.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I blame the parents.

Galted probably does as well.

Galted likes this comment.

Hi.

Ho.

It's off to work we go.

rIck_dAgless wrote:Hi.

This comment made Galted l*l out loud.

Galted wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:l()l Maybe try using some fish oil next time.

Just took the bins out. Red (general) and yellow (plastic containers, etc).

As I placed them carefully on the correct spot I noticed a shadowy figure coming down the footpath towards me... only about 30m away.
They then stopped. Thought it was an old Chinese lady going for an evening walk who maybe didn't want to say "hello" due to shyness or something.

Fair enough.

Then a flash of light caught my attention as I walked back up the driveway. It was a woman (I couldn't see the face properly) wearing one of those miner's torches on her head... or a torch built into a helmet?

Quite a professional, well-kitted out scavenger! I quickly went back through the house and had a peek through the front window. She was pretty tidy. I saw her look in the other one - the general waste - and quickly close the lid.  Obviously it's not worth collecting used tissues covered in phlegm mixed with potato peelings, decaying onions and slightly rancid inedible meat... even if it's all neatly secured in Glad Tidy Bags.

Do you guys get that sort of thing? It's quite a popular pursuit here.

One old lady rides an even older push bike with two gigantic mountains (bags of plastic bottles) either side. There's no way she can see cars approaching from behind. Something I'd expect to see in Guangzhou or Hanoi... but now it's also happening in Sydney.

Had an awkward encounter with a Chinese family at the playground on Sunday.  My son was trying to help their daughter with an impressive sandcastle she was building - she wouldn't let him and was brushing away all the bits he was adding, so he strategically managed to fall on it, demolishing the entire structure.  I prefer to let kids sort out their disagreements unless it turns violent so was pretending not to be aware.  The girl then walked towards me and burst into tears, realised that the people sitting next to me were her parents.  The dad then went and stood next to my son and shouted, in broken English, 'who's child is this?' thus forcing me to trudge through the sandpit in full view of the tattoed mums.  He only came up to my chest but I was a bit worried he might be a triad or one of those Bruce Lee types so I respectfully apologised and pretended I'd had no idea my son had been f*cking up his daughter's afternoon.  He was decent about it and we had a bit of a chat and I took my son to apologise to the girl, only he wouldn't and the mother then got on the case, shouting in even more broken English about how hard her daughter had worked on it.  Told her I didn't need her input and told my son again to apologise but he threw himself backwards over my lap, screaming, and managed to kick me right on the nose.  Had to drag him off to the other sandpit, threatening him on the way that it would be the last time he ever visited the playground if he acted like that again.  He thought the whole thing was hugely funny and proceeded to demolish anything being built in the other sandpit, screaming blue murder when I forcibly removed him from the playground.  Little c*nt thought he deserved an ice-cream after all this, which I had great satisfaction in denying him.

Fist.

Should of bought the ice cream then eat it in front of him. The more effective route of dropping it on the floor would be too much of a waste

lostinwales wrote:

Should of bought the ice cream then eat it in front of him. The more effective route of dropping it on the floor would be too much of a waste

For the sake of f*ck.

I suspect the mass shooting thread is going to go very sideways very quickly.

How we all doing this fine day?

The only way to stop a bad poster with a keyboard is a good poster with a keyboard.

king_carlos wrote:The only way to stop a bad poster with a keyboard is a good poster with a keyboard.

Good point. You're banned.