The Culture Cup Round 6 - new but not really improved

First topic message reminder :

You say tomato, I say Tamara Ecclestone (who michaels has almost certainly probably had a slice of)

There's quite a funny clip on the DM featuring two teen chavs/rednecks having a bust up in the garden, full of brilliant ripostes and witticisms. Can't get a link but it's worth it, try typing "catfight shovel" into google videos.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:You only need to 'worry' if your missus joins a gym. It is a double edged sword, you either let them get fat, or let them get laid.

From my, admittedly very infrequent (twice) visits to gyms, the men are all gay so I wouldn't worry too much.

TSMR goes to the gym, a place I never, ever frequent. I am not worried though, I am awesome.

And she runs a lot as well doesn't she?

She must have a stunning body, Jeff.  I am trying to picture it right now.

And hasn't had kids to ruin it. When you put it all together things don't really add up. Might see if I can get her on that Secret Eaters show.

Ouch.

I once did a grandma with 5 kids. Her minge was generally intact.

Keeping it classy sean, did the grandkids film you?

seanmichaels wrote:I once did a grandma with 5 kids. Her minge was generally intact.

3 of mine came out of the sunroof so it's not all bad.

rick_dagless wrote:Keeping it classy sean, did the grandkids film you?

No, met her for about 20 mins at a bar. Decided to share a taxi but she came back to mine. 'Insisted' nothing would happen but i'd barely got in to bed before she reverse parked. Turns out she was a work colleagues girlfriend's mother. Caused a bit of a rumpus between them.

Michaels re-lives the moment...

Spoiler:

sean wrote:Turns out she was a work colleagues girlfriend's mother. Caused a bit of a rumpus between them.

Nice work! I assume you got off scot free, if so, I doff my cap to thee.

Union Cane wrote:Michaels re-lives the moment...

Spoiler:

I've never kidney punched a bird whilst hanging out the back of it.

Union Cane wrote:Michaels re-lives the moment...

Spoiler:

He really is an ugly bastard.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:You only need to 'worry' if your missus joins a gym. It is a double edged sword, you either let them get fat, or let them get laid.

From my, admittedly very infrequent (twice) visits to gyms, the men are all gay so I wouldn't worry too much.

TSMR goes to the gym, a place I never, ever frequent. I am not worried though, I am awesome.

And she runs a lot as well doesn't she?

She must have a stunning body, Jeff.  I am trying to picture it right now.

I'll PM you a photo.

Thanks, Jules.

I'll PM you a picture of Galted's imaginary Russian in return.

Wouldn't be too surprised if she'd sent you a picture, she and her mates are pretty big fans of your funny comments on 606 v2.

Spoiler:

rick_dagless wrote:

sean wrote:Turns out she was a work colleagues girlfriend's mother. Caused a bit of a rumpus between them.

Nice work!  I assume you got off scot free, if so, I doff my cap to thee.

Not really because she'd been sending filthy texts promising all sorts. Was going to meet her at the weekend but her daughter found out and she then sent me an arsey text accusing me of kiss and tell. Reckon it would have been electric if I hadn't have told everyone at work.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:You only need to 'worry' if your missus joins a gym. It is a double edged sword, you either let them get fat, or let them get laid.

From my, admittedly very infrequent (twice) visits to gyms, the men are all gay so I wouldn't worry too much.

TSMR goes to the gym, a place I never, ever frequent. I am not worried though, I am awesome.

And she runs a lot as well doesn't she?

She must have a stunning body, Jeff.  I am trying to picture it right now.

I'll PM you a photo.

Thanks, Jules.

I'll PM you a picture of Galted's imaginary Russian in return.

Wouldn't be too surprised if she'd sent you a picture, she and her mates are pretty big fans of your funny comments on 606 v2.

Spoiler:

  

I think I've had the one on the left.

Tino wrote:I think I've had the one on the left.

Julius used to babysit her.

anyone been watching Derek?

sean wrote:anyone been watching Derek?

If that is somone in your office then it is a bit creepy sean...

rick_dagless wrote:

sean wrote:anyone been watching Derek?

If  that is somone in your office then it is a bit creepy sean...

I've been watching Bo Derek getting changed in the mornings.

seanmichaels wrote:anyone been watching Derek?

Saw the first one. Ricky Gervais gets serious criticism for everything he does but he's more convincing as a wrong'un than Dustin Hoffman or Tom Hanks.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

sean wrote:anyone been watching Derek?

If  that is somone in your office then it is a bit creepy sean...

I've been watching Bo Derek getting changed in the mornings.

What insect does she change into?

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

sean wrote:anyone been watching Derek?

If  that is somone in your office then it is a bit creepy sean...

I've been watching Bo Derek getting changed in the mornings.

What insect does she change into?

One with an-10-na

JuliusHMarx wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

sean wrote:anyone been watching Derek?

If  that is somone in your office then it is a bit creepy sean...

I've been watching Bo Derek getting changed in the mornings.

What insect does she change into?

One with an-10-na

an-ten-nae

anthropods are sheeet

seanmichaels wrote:anthropods are sheeet

Catweazle.

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

rick_dagless wrote:

sean wrote:anyone been watching Derek?

If  that is somone in your office then it is a bit creepy sean...

I've been watching Bo Derek getting changed in the mornings.

What insect does she change into?

One with an-10-na

an-ten-nae

Catweazle

Did Kim get back? I'm free most evenings with a bit of warning and I shouldn't take long.

seanmichaels wrote:Did Kim get back? I'm free most evenings with a bit of warning and I shouldn't take long.

Not yet. I mentioned that Galted wanted her to lose weight and tone up her buttocks and I saw her run walk slowly to the toilets in floods of tears. That was a couple of hours ago.

I think you've got a clear shot at it now, Seany.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Did Kim get back? I'm free most evenings with a bit of warning and I shouldn't take long.

Not yet.  I mentioned that Galted wanted her to lose weight and tone up her buttocks and I saw her run walk slowly to the toilets in floods of tears.  That was a couple of hours ago.

I think you've got a clear shot at it now, Seany.

Great news. Can you ask if she prefers trimmed sack and crack or should I veet up and go Duncan Goodhew?

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Did Kim get back? I'm free most evenings with a bit of warning and I shouldn't take long.

Not yet.  I mentioned that Galted wanted her to lose weight and tone up her buttocks and I saw her run walk slowly to the toilets in floods of tears.  That was a couple of hours ago.

I think you've got a clear shot at it now, Seany.

Great news. Can you ask if she prefers trimmed sack and crack or should I veet up and go Duncan Goodhew?

One other thing I should make you aware of, she supports Chelsea football club. Not sure if this makes a difference to you?

I know this as when we had a dress down day for Comic Relief she was squeezed into a Chelsea shirt with Lampard on the back.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Did Kim get back? I'm free most evenings with a bit of warning and I shouldn't take long.

Not yet.  I mentioned that Galted wanted her to lose weight and tone up her buttocks and I saw her run walk roll slowly to the toilets in floods of tears.  That was a couple of hours ago.

I think you've got a clear shot at it now, Seany.

 
Fixed that for you.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Did Kim get back? I'm free most evenings with a bit of warning and I shouldn't take long.

Not yet.  I mentioned that Galted wanted her to lose weight and tone up her buttocks and I saw her run walk slowly to the toilets in floods of tears.  That was a couple of hours ago.

I think you've got a clear shot at it now, Seany.

Great news. Can you ask if she prefers trimmed sack and crack or should I veet up and go Duncan Goodhew?

One other thing I should make you aware of, she supports Chelsea football club.  Not sure if this makes a difference to you?

I know this as when we had a dress down day for Comic Relief she was squeezed into a Chelsea shirt with Lampard on the back.

She must be a big lass if she can give Frank Lampard a piggy back. He's about 6 foot.

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Did Kim get back? I'm free most evenings with a bit of warning and I shouldn't take long.

Not yet.  I mentioned that Galted wanted her to lose weight and tone up her buttocks and I saw her run walk roll slowly to the toilets in floods of tears.  That was a couple of hours ago.

I think you've got a clear shot at it now, Seany.

 
Fixed that for you.

There is no need to be so cruel, Super.  It's people like you and Galted that have made Kim cry this afternoon.

Perhaps if you kept yourself in better shape, Mrs Fly wouldn't be receiving a length from Julius.

Hmmmm. Chelsea is an issue. I'll have a think.

I may pass the time by posting the Ayrton Senna/Freddie Mercury joke on the Senna tribute page.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Did Kim get back? I'm free most evenings with a bit of warning and I shouldn't take long.

Not yet.  I mentioned that Galted wanted her to lose weight and tone up her buttocks and I saw her run walk slowly to the toilets in floods of tears.  That was a couple of hours ago.

I think you've got a clear shot at it now, Seany.

Great news. Can you ask if she prefers trimmed sack and crack or should I veet up and go Duncan Goodhew?

Keep the veet away from your balls.  I've tried that before and my scrotum bled a bit.

I' know a racist joke involving a golfing robot - think it might offend Union.

seanmichaels wrote:Hmmmm. Chelsea is an issue. I'll have a think.

I may pass the time by posting the Ayrton Senna/Freddie Mercury joke on the Senna tribute page.

Let her keep the shirt on and pretend you're bumming Fat Frankie.

is it as good as the senna / mercury skidmarks on the helmet effort?

Probably a bit more "gentle" than that, sean. Still astonishingly racist though.

Galted wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Hmmmm. Chelsea is an issue. I'll have a think.

I may pass the time by posting the Ayrton Senna/Freddie Mercury joke on the Senna tribute page.

Let her keep the shirt on and pretend you're bumming Fat Frankie.

In a David Mellor style?

superflyweight wrote:I' know a racist joke involving a golfing robot - think it might offend Union.  

Don't post it superfly. I like about three people on the boxing board, you are one of them. The idea I would have to ban you before some of the tools we have on there is genuinely quite upsetting.

Rowley wrote:

superflyweight wrote:I' know a racist joke involving a golfing robot - think it might offend Union.  

Don't post it superfly. I like about three people on the boxing board, you are one of them.

Who is the other one?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:

superflyweight wrote:I' know a racist joke involving a golfing robot - think it might offend Union.  

Don't post it superfly. I like about three people on the boxing board, you are one of them.

Who is the other one?

Chris and Andygf

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:

superflyweight wrote:I' know a racist joke involving a golfing robot - think it might offend Union.  

Don't post it superfly. I like about three people on the boxing board, you are one of them.

Who is the other one?

Chris and Andygf

F*ck you.

I just did a fart that sounded like a dog growling.

Galted wrote:I just did a fart that sounded like a dog growling.

F*ck you.

What is the joke?

(And thanks Jeff, means a lot)

Union Cane wrote:What is the joke?

(And thanks Jeff, means a lot)

You're in my top 10 posters, Union, if it's any consolation.

Urine mine, two.

Union Cane wrote:What is the joke?

(And thanks Jeff, means a lot)

Sorry Union, I run it like the rankings, you drop out through inactivity.

Rowley wrote:

Union Cane wrote:What is the joke?

(And thanks Jeff, means a lot)

Sorry Union, I run it like the rankings, you drop out through inactivity.

Fair enough, I don't think I've posted there since November. Not likely to either, as it seems to have turned into the Strongback & Trussman show.

Union Cane wrote:Fair enough, I don't think I've posted there since November. Not likely to either, as it seems to have turned into the Strongback & Trussman show.

Pretty much, unless you have strong opinions on Mayweather one way or the other I suspect you would not find too much to get your teeth into.